Crazy Train
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: Cody couldn’t stay. Cody broke into too many pieces. All because of Dustin…Ted and Randy have to clean up the mess before he does something too risky. BOOK 1 of the Cross Rhodes to DreamStreet Series. SLASH Cody/Ted. Slight Cenaton. COMPLETE!
1. Preface

**Who doesn't love a good angst rant?**

**I love Cody Rhodes; of course, a lot of people do. A lot of people hate his guts but no, Rhodes owns you. Sadly, I am an angst writer and I want to torture Cody Rhodes so yeah…let the torturing begin.**

**Oh, and yes, my first WWE story!**

**And forget about the crappy title for this series thing, okay? I know it's a title from Hell but it's the only thing I can come up with. :P**

Cross Rhodes to DreamStreet Series

**Crazy Train**

Rated: +13 – violence, language, mentions of mature content

Summary: Cody couldn't stay. Cody broke into two many pieces. All because of Dustin…Ted and Randy have to clean up the mess before he does something too risky. PART 1 out of the Cross Rhodes to DreamStreet Series.

Genre: Angst

**PREFACE**

* * *

**Coldness**.

**Engulfed** him whole.

**Coldness**.

Shook him **awake**.

**Coldness**.

Reminded him of the **haunted** past.

"_Cody!"_

**Coldness**.

**Cut** his heart.

**Coldness**.

Made his heart **bleed**.

"_You okay, buddy?"_

**Coldness**.

Blocked his heart of everything.

**Coldness**.

Make him **shiver**.

Beyond **control** of his body.

He can't do **anything** about it.

**Coldness**.

"_No, no-no-"_

"_Cody!"_

**Wrapped** around his heart…

"_Dustin, I could've died…"_

…and then **stabbed** him in the heart.

* * *

It was _f-f-freezing c-c-c-cold_.

Ted DiBiase's face paled, white pale, bone pale, dead pale.

"So, when I enter the ring around Triple H, I want you to hold him by the back and I'll do an RKO. If the McMahon's try anything funny, Cody can hold them down—"Randy stopped in his position when he realized that Ted DiBiase was frozen in place, completely and utterly and hopeless frozen and stiffened and hardened and solidified.

"Ted?"

Ted's hands started to shake and shake and shake with exposed fear and dead shock and swirling thoughts.

"DiBiase, you deaf?"

Ted opened his mouth to speak but he didn't know what to say or how to say it, a hard mass of pain stabbed him in the heart, a deep cut of blood and horror. "Cody," was the only word that can come out of his mouth.

Ted's voice was dulled and beaten down, scarred and black.

"What is it, Ted?" Randy asked, sitting beside him as Ted brought the piece of crumpled white, seeming insignificant, paper close to his chest. "Ted, what the hell is it?"

Ted looked at Randy.

Dead, scared eyes.

Pale, pale, rigid body.

A little body resided in Ted's eyes.

Just _f-f-freezing c-c-old_ inside with the fear that bubbled along with it in Ted's unexpectedly fragile heart.

"Cody-Cody's committing suicide."

* * *

They only **see** you when your flesh **shines**.

They **can't see** your soul as it **scars**.

They only **see** you when you **smile**.

They **don't see** you when you **cry**.

They only **see** you when you **fall**.

They **don't see** you when you **crash**.

**Crash** into your own heart's **blood**.

And **drown**.

As you **choke** onto your own **blood**.

They **can't see** you **dying**.

Because they only **see** what they want to **see**.

And they **don't** want to **see** you **dead**.

So they **ignore** the **fear** in your eyes.

And the **cuts** on your flesh.

And the huge **cut** in your heart.

So you think they'll **ignore** you.

When you lie **dead** on the sidewalk floor.

On the floor of **nothingness**.

* * *

The sweet scent of Cody's skin was now dead.

Beautiful, pale, cracked, dead skin pressed up against the park's floor. His eyes were crazed and his body was rigid and cold. His breaths were short and sharp. He felt dead. He wanted to be dead.

He closed his eyes, seeing pure blackness and when he reopened his eyes, rain choked him, suffocated him, and he continued to try and breathe. "Cody!" Ted and Randy's voices were muffled.

Cody didn't care.

He'd die. He wanted to be dead.

After what Dustin did to him, he wanted to be dead. "CODY!" Ted reached Cody's body and fell to his knees and stared into Cody's scared little eyes. Randy leaned down and stared and just wondered.

The pain swallowed Cody, suffocated him, stabbed him and pierced through his body, from his head to his toes, all through and it was unbearable. Completely unbearable.

"God, we're not too late…" Ted sighed softly, smiling at himself, laughing at the rain that pelted their skins and threatened to suffocate them, and then looked back at Cody.

Cody was unconscious.

Ted stepped back, the fear suddenly running through his eyes again, his mouth hung open as he realized that…

Blood, sweet dark bitter blood, was soaking Cody's body.

A grunt escaped Cody's lips as he brought his hands together, clutched one of them to his chest, trying to make the pain stop, to make his heart stop bleeding inside, to make the darkness slip away from him.

In his other hand, Cody held a razor.

* * *

"_Dustin…"_

Insanity.

"_Cody."_

**Lapped** up.

"_Dust—"a high pitched scream filled the blackness at the black of Cody's mind, his high pitched scream. "W-what—?"_

**Inside** of Cody—enough…

"_You tell anyone about this…"_

To make him **bleed**.

His own **heart** out.

* * *

**This is just the prologue.**

**Yeah...**

**;D Sam**


	2. Playground of Nightmares

_WARNING! This contains a mention, just a mention, of slash/rape before the end. You can read on or you can leave the page. Your option. Don't blame me if you start throwing up._

**Chapter 1**

**Playground of Nightmares**

**Crazy but that's how it goes  
Millions of people living as foes**

Remember, **Dustin**?

The **playground** that was made of **dreams**

Is now made of **nightmares**

Of **black** and **blue**

Of **bruises** and **shame**

The **playground** that once struck **happiness**

Is now striking **pain**

And **fear**

And _**c-c-coldness**_

A storm of **Goldust**

**Ripped** the swings

Of Cody's little **fragile** **heart**

Links and chains **broke**

**Nothing** left anymore

But rusted links

On the **floor** of **blood**

A storm of **Goldust**

Made **green** leaves

Shake **red**

**Blood red**

A storm of **Goldust**

Made the **painted white** seesaw

**Chip** from its original color

Until there was **nothing** left

A storm of **Goldust**

Made the monkey bars

**Break down**

A storm of **Goldust**

**Rips** the grass out

Makes it **gray**

**Ashes** and **ashes**

And **nothing's** left

The **playground** that once struck **happiness**

Is now a **nightmare**

And it **resides**

In Cody Rhodes' **heart**.

* * *

Cody's body lay limp on the bed.

He looked like he was in a casket, gripping onto a razor, refusing to let go. His mouth was slit, cut, ripped and his body lacked color—perfectly pale, perfectly rigid, perfectly freezing to death. Eyes shut tight, motionless then slowly, his body shook, his eyes slowly fluttered open, his feet shuffled in pain.

He rolled to his side but felt as if a sharp spear had stabbed him in the stomach. He shook uncontrollably, from cold, fear, confusion. His hands gripped onto the dulled bloodied razor and his turquoise eyes scanned the room. He knew this room—the Legacy's locker room.

Suddenly, a surge of music shot Cody upwards, made him jump in complete awareness and alertness and watchfulness at the sound of the rhythmic beat to "Voices". He was breathing, short and sharp breaths. Oxygen scuffled in Cody's lungs.

One hand tentatively let go of the razor while the other gripped on it tighter, making his flesh cut at one of the tiny blades and making more blood soak his body but Cody couldn't feel the pain at all. He stepped backwards as Randy's theme continued, wanting to get as far away from the banging sound of music.

It banged his head. Ate him up. Pounded him into a black out world of exhaustion but Cody stayed unconscious no matter how much the pain in his head had banged, again and again—pain swirled through his head, steady to the beat of his so fragile heart.

Already bleeding heart.

Cody's body slid down to the floor. Eyes scanned the locker room again, and then his eyes went to the razor in his hands—

_Ripped at his skin, made blood flow out from his stomach from his head, from his shoulder and laughter fills and fills and fills the air as the razor hits the skin all over again_

—Cody remembered his suicide attempt.

His body continued to shake. Over the past few weeks…

_Dustin!_

Cody had to get out of here before Dustin showed up, before his father showed up, before Randy and Ted came to the locker room to face the boy after what he tried to do. Cody put his hands on the floor and felt a surge of pain pierce and stab him through the gut and on his left shoulder, burning up, acidic in his throat.

He screamed. His throat only got drier and drier. He hit his head to the wall, hard and painful and agonizing, feeling his stomach's veins threaten to pop and his arteries pulse and pound and throb all the way from his stomach to his left shoulder. A feeling of condensing pain stirred into his stomach. His breaths were still short and sharp.

Randy's voice, dipped with sarcasm, ripped through the air. "DiBiase, great job with Hunter. We almost got killed out there when Shane came up there with Hunter's hammer. You know how much of an idiot you are?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ted responded, snickering to himself.

Their footsteps got closer. Cody could hear and feel it pound through his exploding inside out head.

Their footsteps stop.

Ted's eyes turned crazed when he had seen Cody. He rushed over to him and Cody took one deep breath before looking up to Ted DiBiase. "Randy, I got this," Ted said to him. Ted's eyes were swirling with guilt but anger and concern blazed right through that guilt. Randy opened his mouth to protest but said nothing.

"W-what were you thinking?" Ted's voice was a mixture of concern and anger. He grabbed onto Cody's hand and pulled him up. His eyes meeting the razor—the dull object that could've taken his friend's life away forever—was clasped tight into Cody's hand. "Give me the razor."

Cody shook his head. "No, Ted." His voice twisted pain, a strain of certainty bit his words.

"Give me the razor, Cody!" Ted said, trying to rip it out of his hand but Cody made a fist with his other hand and punched Ted in the stomach, hard and firm. The pain inside of his head made him do the thing he did, he watched as Ted clutched onto his stomach and he watched as Randy's eyes widened.

Cody was just so dazed, so dizzy, so confused, so angry and hurt. He didn't know what to do but he knew that the razor in his hands would be the doorway to freedom. He didn't need anyone to like him, to care about him, to think about him, because he didn't want to hurt them when he died. He didn't want to hurt them when he did something moronic.

He didn't want them in pain.

"Ted—"

Ted DiBiase stared into Cody's face and clutched his hand tight, making a fist. Ted's eyes stared at Cody's face and as he grabbed onto Cody's left arm, he threw him on the other side of the wall. The wall met Cody's back and pain engulfed him all over again. He breathed, short and sharp breaths all over again, having difficulty constructing a thought.

_Dust—_

_Ted—_

_Dustin…_

"Cody, I—" Ted shook his head, slowly walking to him, passing Randy and stood beside him, looking into the fearful eyes of Cody Rhodes. He had never had his best friend fear him before.

It made Ted feel like such a bad guy.

Dark.

Evil.

Manipulative.

Abusive.

Ted licked his lower lip and looked down at the floor before looking back at Cody's scared little eyes. He didn't want to face it. He had hit his partner Cody, hard, after he tried to kill himself. "Oh, God, Cody, I'm sorry…"

Randy's face hardened. "Ted, step back."

"N-no, 'Ted said, 'I-Cody-"he just didn't know how he could hit his own tag team partner, buddy, friend—he couldn't imagine it at all.

"Step back, Ted!" Randy exclaimed. The look in his eyes blazed the words 'I'll give you an RKO if you don't' so Ted slowly stepped back and Randy stepped towards the tattered and shattered and ragged Rhodes in front of him.

Cody looked at the dull object in his hands and then his eyes looked back at Ted. "Ted, I…" he started then stopped himself. He reluctantly, so very reluctantly, let the razor fall to the ground.

"Why'd you do it, Cody?" Randy's voice was soft.

Soft, but his words pierced through Cody like a knife.

"I-I-"Cody looked down at his feet. _Dustin. Dustin. My brother, Dustin_. But he didn't let anything roll off his tongue.

"This is serious, man," Ted told him, still in his frozen position but his voice was loud, his voice thick and dim. "You have to have a reason. Did Randy do something?"

Randy's eyes hardened as he smacked the back of Ted DiBiase's neck. "Did DiBiase do something?" Randy asked and Ted's heart ripped from its place, thinking that he might've provoked Cody enough to kill himself…

Cody shook his head. "I-I-"he tried but he couldn't let the words roll out of his tongue.

_Dustin…Dustin!_

* * *

**DUST – IN**

The wind

Impulsive, with no goals, _mysterious_,

**DUST – IN**

Cody's heart,

_Rips_ it, _tears_ it, makes it _bleed_

Until _nothing's_ left

But pictures and _memories_ of

Dustin Rhodes

That seem to _tear_ all by themselves

"_Cody…"_

"_Dustin?"_

Pictures and _memories_ of

What Dustin used to be

To what he _turned_ into

Now

"_Dustin, what the hell—? Oh my God! STOP!"_

* * *

You see the walls **bleeding**…/

* * *

The road was all clear.

Emptiness filled the road and Cody Rhodes stared at the vast emptiness of the road, feeling that nothing could fill up Cody as he choked and suffocated and drowned into his own bleeding heart.

Ted broke the silence.

"Cody, I'm sorry that I'm doing this."

Cody stayed silent, listening but not saying anything. That was the way it was always; he'd listen as Ted and Randy fought and he'd break as they fought and he'd cry inside as they fought.

Everyone's problems were better than Cody's before.

"I'm just scared of what you'd do to yourself, man. People don't kill yourself just like that."

_He pretends to care, Cody. He pretends to care._

The voices—_they-they_ were back. Cody's little blue eyes widened with fear. He bit his lower lip and a bomb blew off in his heart. He was panting softly and he looked at Ted, who drove in silence, not noticing anything.

_Who cares about you? You're nothing, boy!_

Cody gripped onto the car's handle as his breathing turned normal and he looked at himself in the mirror.

_Is there a little boy, staring back at you, Rhodes?_

There was a little boy, visible in his eyes, fearful of nightmares of monsters. The little body that used to wait for Dusty to return, that envied his bigger brother that was annoyed by his sister—that boy was in the mirror right now.

Cody had sweat running down the short spikes of his hair, sweat bleeding out of his face and he looked down at his feet. The clustered dry blood was hidden by Randy Orton's t-shirt and Ted DiBiase's jeans. The boots were still his, always his personality.

But the cut on the left side of his face was still there, the first cut of the razor as he ran it through his head.

"Cody?"

"Ted, it-it's back!"

"C-Cody?!"

Cody opened the door while Ted drove and the sudden action made Ted hit the brakes. Cody fell out of the door, hitting his body hard to the road and ran and ran and ran as fast as possible. Ted stared, shocked, confused, concerned, trying to figure out what could be 'back'. He watched as Cody ran, ran and ran away.

Until he was out of view.

* * *

And the **blood** pouring like **Hell**…

* * *

Cody slid down onto the floor of the alley.

He wanted to be alone. Ted would never understand it but the voices that kept swirling and screaming and snapping at him in Cody's head was too much for the boy to handle.

Too freaking much.

He stayed, nauseous, blood rising up in his throat and confusion slurred through his body. Dizziness hit Cody's head, pounded it with a loud bang of darkness. "Cody!" he heard Ted's muffled voice.

He shifted slightly from his place, but the nausea that rolled through his stomach, the acid knots that had burned inside of his stomach, was too much for him. Suddenly, he heard another set of voices, close by. _Dustin…Dustin's…_

"Well, well," Todd Lynn said, eying Cody Rhodes.

Cody felt as if though he'd get a heart attack, he didn't want this. He didn't want this at all. He knew Todd too well. He was one of Dustin's friends. Todd leaned down. "Hey, Dustin!" Todd's voice pierced through the air, and fear collided, clustered and gathered, through Cody's body.

Suddenly, the dizziness rose down from his head to his throat, he could taste his sweat in his mouth and he thought that his heart may stop beating any second. He wanted to run but couldn't. He wanted to hide but there was no way he could even move to begin to hide.

"What is it, Todd, you id—?" Dustin's head poked through the alley.

Cody's lymph nodes felt swollen. His heart was pounding and threatening to burst through his chest any minute. His feet felt as if two jagged knives had pierced right through them so that the blood could seep out. His skin paled, bone pale, dead pale skin, and his thoughts swallowed him into a second.

Dustin laughed, leaning towards his brother. His hands pushing Cody's shoulders to the wall, preventing him from escaping. Not that he could've. Not that he didn't try. Cody's throat went completely dry and his body felt completely brittle, breakable and already damaged.

Todd's fist collided with Cody's stomach. Dustin's eyes swelled with glee and amusement. Cody wanted to throw up and crawl into a bed and die there. He tried not to. He didn't want Dustin any closer—his brother twisted one of Cody's arms behind his back.

Cody wanted to yell but his mouth was too dry.

_Ted! Randy! PLEASE!_

No one was here to save him now. Todd stared at Cody, with eyes that went up and down and he began undressing the young Rhodes boy. Dustin just watched, holding Cody in place while Todd worked on him, sweated over Cody, watched him as he shook and trembled, afraid and broken inside. Dustin stared at the cuts on Cody's chest, two big ones that extended from his stomach to his left shoulder, and one on his face.

_You deserve this, Cody. You know you do…_

* * *

Where **everything's** sticky **black** and **red**…

* * *

Hours later, a blaze of light struck a cord in Cody's brain.

Cody Rhodes stared at the stream of light and realized that it was a flash light as his head swirled with dizziness and darkness and nausea. "Cody!" It was Randy Orton's concerned, loud voice. Randy walked over to Cody, leaned down to him and stared at him. His blue eyes hardened and turned and hard-edged when he saw the bruises that settled on his face, throbbing pain and pouring red hot blood from the cuts and cuts of the little capillaries of his face inside.

"Cody, what the hell happened? Did you do this?" Randy asked, touching Cody's face but the Rhodes boy grunted and moaned in pain, pushing and hitting himself harder to the wall of the alley.

"DiBiase was supposed to take care of you. Where's Ted?" his voice was filled with rage.

Cody didn't say anything. The horror of the last few hours burned inside of his brain. He didn't know what to do. He should've died. If Ted and Randy cared about him, they should've let him died before this could happen again. Cody's mouth opened up but all he could do was let out the sound of the horror he'd been through…

He screamed. A high-pitched, piercing scream.

Randy's hands protectively held onto Cody's arms as Cody took short and sharp breaths. Oxygen battled to get into Cody's little lungs. He stared into Randy's eyes, finding only a stranger of concern, not the same hard Randy he saw usually. "Cody, man, breathe."

Cody took the deepest breath he could've then laughed. His laugh was that of a maniac. "Cody, Cody, breathe," Randy instructed, demanded almost. Cody took another deep breath, followed by short ones. He slyly touched Cody's face to feel the coldness that rose up inside of Cody's body.

"I swear Rhodes if you ever get out of our sight again and scare me like that again…" Randy started but the pain in Cody's eyes made him release Cody's arms and watch as he looked down at the floor. "Look. I'll take you back at the hotel room and you can talk to me and Ted about what happened. Who did this to you?"

Cody didn't say anything for a while. "No."

"No?" Randy repeated.

"I'm not telling you what happened." Cody's voice stirred certainty and determination. "Nothing happened."

"Then who did this to you?" he pointed to Cody's face, afraid that if he touched it, Cody will recoil again.

"No one," Cody replied. His voice as dull as copper. Cody's voice went softer to the last part. "I did this."

* * *

/…then you're **drowning** my **forever** **broken** **heart**.

You're **drowning** in my **playground**

Of **nightmares**

Of **bruises**

Of **sweat**

Of you, **Dustin**…

* * *

**Well, how was that? REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW!**

**Reviews make me update faster…**

**Man, I hated this chapter. There was something about it that made me feel unsatisfied but…I might not like it, but you might. Okay, first of all, if you're grossed out by the entire rape/slash thing then you put yourself on the line. I WARNED YOU!**

**Please??**

**- Sam**


	3. Pretend that I Hate You

**I'm just so buzzing happy today that I'm updating! :D**

**Why I'm happy? Have you even read Stripped by CenatonObsession? You _haven't_? Then go read and BE JEALOUS!**

**Chapter 2**

**Pretend that I Hate You**

**Maybe it's not too late  
to learn how to love**

* * *

_**you think you know that when you go through the tunnel**_

_**you're going someplace new**_

_**dark and distorted**_

_**all so very surreal**_

_**you're under it all**_

_**you're hugging the person next to you for comfort**_

_**you've seen the darkness that's following you**_

_**there's no light at the end of the tunnel**_

_**and you don't stick around until the end**_

_**you're going someplace new and different**_

_**dark and distorted**_

_**all so very surreal**_

_**you walk outside**_

_**see the sunshine**_

_**see the love**_

_**see the freaking sweetness that people have**_

_**but you can't remember anything**_

_**but that tunnel that you've barreled in**_

_**but the darkness you've seen**_

_**but the terror you've felt**_

_**but the piercing scream you've heard**_

_**(when you heard the scream**_

_**you didn't even know it was you)**_

_**but the bitterness you've tasted**_

_**and you don't know if you'll ever see sunshine**_

_**and you don't know if you'll ever feel happy**_

_**and you don't know if you'll ever hear laughter**_

_**and you don't know if you'll ever taste sweetness**_

_**because you're drowning into the liquid pool**_

_**of darkness**_

_**and rejection **_

_**and Dustin Rhodes**_

_**and you can't get out…**_

_**NO WAY OUT**_

* * *

Cody lied silent on the bed of a hotel room and he didn't say anything and he didn't do anything and he didn't know if he was breathing.

Ted DiBiase was slung on the couch, one hand on the armrest and one hand dangled towards the floor. He was asleep. Asleep with sweet little dreams inside of the nightmares that forever haunted Cody Rhodes' mind. He can't see anything but black and blue, nightmares of the dark, nightmares of the cold, bleakness and bitterness, all clashed together and mashed together and crushed together in Cody's little mind and he didn't know what to do but take a deep breath and attempt to breathe.

Randy Orton was on the other bed. Peaceful, mouth slightly opened, arm on his stomach, other one disappeared behind his back, tranquil, calm and serene, Randy slept silently and all Cody could want was the tranquility that rested along Randy's face.

He could feel his shoulders tense; his mouth was filled with acid, knots formed in his stomach, his back ached and he didn't know how to move or if he should be moving. He heard the phone ringing, every time he heard the sound, his heart pounded faster and faster and faster…

His hand uneasily and fearful grabbed onto the phone and with a shaking, utterly and completely shaking hand, he brought the receiver close to his ears while feeling darkness explode in his heart and head and the terror and horror and panic didn't stop.

"Hello, Cody," it was Dustin's sleek, dark voice.

Cody fell to his bed, clutching onto the phone, and he didn't know how to move or if he should move or if everything that was spiraling and spinning in his head was just a part of his so stupid imagination and he shouldn't be thinking like this or breathing like this.

"Listen, Cody…did you like what Todd did to you?" his voice was mocking, asking him as if he was a baby, a child that can only comprehend so little and Cody's shoulders shook rigidly. He'd rather have the voices. He wanted the voices back. He didn't want Dustin. He didn't want this at all and he'd do anything to get away from the fear that sliced Cody's heart in two halves.

**You just want to freaking die but you don't know how to. You just want to freaking die…but no one will let you.** Cody's blood was boiling hot, spreading so much heat along his skin that he felt sweat run down his head, but he didn't care and all he wanted to do was go back to the life that he used to know but that was impossible knowing what Dustin did to him and knowing that he'd do more, harder, aggressive, more and more…

"N-no," Cody could barely get the words to slip out of his mouth. They just did.

"Okay then," Dustin's voice cut through Cody's head, Todd—_punching his stomach_. **You wanted to throw up**. _Touching him_. **You were truly made to be his possession**. _Laughing and laughing and laughing_. **You just sat there, cowering in the fear that ate you whole… **"Then do what I say, Cody. I want you to hate them."

"Who's t-them?" Cody bit his lip and tried to forget the possibility but it was a possibility and that made him fidget and shake and tremble in his place from the thought…

"Hate Legacy. Hate Randy. Hate Ted."

Cody's eyes widened with shock and his mouth gaped open and he didn't know what to say so he dropped the phone and he heard the dial tone. Dustin had already shut the phone and he lied silently, lifelessly, dreadfully, thinking of the darkness that he'd been barreled into, thinking of how much pain he'd cause Ted and Randy and just…_oh my God-just-oh…_

Randy slowly opened his eyes and grunted and groaned in protest to waking up but so slowly, he had woken up and his eyes were on Cody Rhodes' body and the paleness that popped against his face and his eyes widened. "Cody, what happened, man? Did anyone—?"

He stood up before he can finish the sentence and walked over to the shaking and shivering body, unable to control himself, unable to think and stop and just freaking breathe. Randy leaned down to Cody's face. "Hey, did anyone do anything to you?"

Cody looked at Randy, remembering Dustin's words, each syllable struck a cord in his brain and made him bleed inside all over again.

"_Hate Legacy. Hate Randy. Hate Ted."_

"Go away," Cody said, his voice filled with fake hate and fake coldness and just fake everything. The words that slipped out of the tip of Cody's tongue made him feel filed with darkness and rotting in his own casket.

"Well, if you need anything, Rhodes…" Randy didn't finish the sentence because he saw Cody's mask, plastered hate on his face, plastered darkness and coldness and so much damn hatred on his face that Randy stepped back and slipped in his bed, without saying another word or taking another breath.

"I'm sorry," Cody mumbled to himself, feeling the strain of pain in his voice but Randy was already asleep and Ted had been asleep through the entire night and all that was asleep from Cody was his all too unfaithful, all too dark, all too bleeding heart.

* * *

Sorry.

Doesn't make it all **better**.

Sorry.

**Slips** out of your tongue.

Sorry.

**Pain** fills your voice.

Sorry.

**No one** listens.

Sorry.

You're so **broken**.

Sorry.

That you can't be **perfect**.

Sorry.

That you're **bleeding**.

Sorry.

That you're **too** **late**.

To **apologize**.

For what you've freaking **done**.

Sorry.

That you can't **love**.

Sorry.

That you have to learn how to **hate**.

Sorry.

That your **mask** is **tainted**.

**Black** and white it's **painted**.

Horribly **maintained**.

With your heart's blood.

It's **stained**.

Sorry.

That they can't see that you're **bleeding.**

_(I'm so sorry Ted)_

All over.

_(I'm so sorry Randy)_

For them.

_(I hate that my voice is your horror movie on replay)_

* * *

You're standing next to your locker and you don't know if you should do the match and you don't know if they'll let you do the match and you just want to sit down and pretend that you really do hate them and that they've done something very bad to you, Cody but you don't know how to act like that.

So you cry and tear and scream on the inside when you look at them with the fake black color in your body as you're being shocked inside with the pain that's filling in their eyes. You don't know if you should tell them that Dustin wants you to hate them and you don't know if they can see right through you but all you know is that you have to listen to that voice.

"_Hate Legacy."_

The golden symbol that you used to wear so proudly so smugly so conceitedly on your attire is now a symbol of dullness in your eyes because you don't deserve to wear it anymore and you know it, Rhodes. You know it all. As you slip down the walls and look around and pretend that you're somewhere else, that this is all some freaking dream you'll wake up from but it's not and you know it as good as anyone else does as you pound your head to the wall and feel yourself break into nothing and you know that you're Cody Rhodes because no one's as pathetic as you are right now.

"Hey, Cody, you should sit out the match." You hear Ted's voice replaying in your mind and you swallow the acid and vomit and invisible alcohol down your throat as you feel your head spin and your heart throb and your veins pop and your arteries constrict.

"_Hate Ted."_

You feel your blood boil and your hair stand up and your nausea eat you up and your headache kill your insides but you don't let anything roll out of your tired mouth because you've always bottled everything and now, you have to bottle the overflowing pain inside of you.

You just don't know how to.

You stand up, feeling crazy and insane, feeling energized and refreshing, trying to ignore the pain and trying to ignore the throbbing and you just hear the sound of you cell phone ring before terror and fear and agony crashes your heart down because you know that it's probably Dustin and you don't want to answer it that way.

You hold the phone close to your ear and with a shaking hand; you try to listen to what Dustin's saying. "Hey, you see your locker?" you hadn't opened it, they say that you don't need it because you're not playing and you feel a stab of horror bubble inside of you for what could be inside of the locker but you don't say anything as you lick your dry lips.

"I want you to open it." And you do so to find an expensive-looking bottle of what? Champagne? Vodka? Tequila? You know its alcohol and that's all that seems to matter and you already feel the weight of the discovery wear you down but you don't say anything. "It's champagne. I want you to drink it. And then go into the ring."

You don't protest and say that Jeff Hardy and CM Punk are chattering away in the ring because of the events of the Bash and you don't say that Randy and Ted are just waiting for them to finish. You know that because all you hear is Jeff Hardy's annoyed words and CM Punk's half angry half calm words and all you do is nod your head even if he can't really see you.

"I'll be watching." The last line sends a shiver up your spine and all you can do is nod your head another time before you hear the dial tone and you take the bottle of champagne, slowly unscrewing the cap and you can almost feel as if the voices are the liquid, and you're going to drink it. You feel completely unfaithful to Legacy but you don't know what else to do. Dustin wants you to suffer and suffer harshly because Dustin never ever liked you and you know that as much as you know that Dusty has no idea of what's going on.

"_Hate Randy."_

You drink the bottle of champagne without letting a word flow out of your mouth about how unfair this all seems and you let the acid claw at your throat and you can taste the bitterness and sweetness and just anything and everything all at once and even if your stomach churns and your head pounds even more, you force the entire bottle's liquid down your throat until there is no more and you let the bottle fall to the ground.

Your head's spinning, spinning, spinning and your stomach's flipping, flipping, flipping with pain and all you can do is try and breathe but you forget how to and _oh God_. You try and head towards the ring and you can almost hear Randy and Ted's cries of protest and confusion and shock and when they see you, drunk as you are, their eyes threaten to pop out of their heads.

You run towards the ring and even with your head spinning so much, you can make out the blurry black and white and purple vision in front of you is Jeff Hardy and as Jeff drops the microphone, you spear him, hard, in the gut and you laugh so moronically at it.

You look at CM Punk and you can see the blurry man clear enough to know that you're going to attack him just as fast, CM Punk's so in shock he doesn't even make a move when you twist his arm behind his back. That's when he reacts and lets his other arm take your neck and try to wrench it backwards. You think fast and throw CM Punk's body towards Jeff Hardy's and they both are twisted and collided in the mess.

Everyone's so quiet as your head pounds one more time before you feel Ted DiBiase's hands grab onto your waist and pull you out. You still don't care about the churning in your stomach or the headache of Hell you've gotten because no one else seems to care.

You know that you're being pushed inside of the locker room as Ted flings you towards the wall and Randy steps towards you, pushes you harshly to the wall and smells the scent of alcohol in your mouth and his eyes widen. "Rhodes, what are you thinking? Drinking?"

You want to talk but every thought's so slurred into your mind that you don't know how to.

"What has gotten into you?" Randy demands, and his voice's so thick and so stern and so stiff that you feel you stomach flip uneasily and violently just at the sound of his voice.

"I-I…" you start to stutter and then your eyes look at Ted DiBiase. Your heart's jumping and flipping in apology and you don't know what else to say and you hate Dustin more than anything right now as you say the words that are going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

"It's all Ted's fault!"

* * *

**Haunted**.

Cody's **haunted**.

By **shadows** of his past.

Family.

And he doesn't know how to break **free**.

Without **hurting** himself or people he loves.

And Dustin wants the **pain** to **linger**.

**Haunted**.

He's **haunted**.

By the **pain** that **stabs** him all the time.

By the champagne's **scent** that **forever** reminds him.

Of what he'd said.

"_It's all Ted's fault!"_

**Haunted**.

By the thought of Ted. **NEVER EVER**. Speaking to him.

Because of what he said.

**Haunted**.

By the dreams and **nightmares** that ate him **alive**.

By the **tunnel** of **darkness** that never **ended**.

And thoughts of **no** **light** at the **end** of the **tunnel**.

**Haunted**.

By his own flesh and **blood**.

By his own **self**.

* * *

Randy's face turned to face Ted's pale, confused, horror-struck face and Cody felt the guilt burning up inside of him and Randy didn't stop as he rammed Ted's body to the wall and Cody closed his eyes because he can't look at this horror movie, this drama piece, any longer and it hurt all too much.

"Ted, what the hell?!"

Randy thought of Cody's suicide attempt, _all black and blue_, thought of the blood that swallowed him whole when he had found him in an alley in the middle of the night, _why him?_ thought of the clouds of horror that lingered inside of Cody's head, _champagne, the event in the ring, the shaking, the trembling, the fear, all happened with Ted and Cody in the car, Ted finding the note and pretending to care_ and anger blazed in him even more.

Ted's eyes filled with confusion and anger. He'd been the one to take care of him, _read his note, ran there as fast as I can to save him from his own_ _suicide_ he'd never do anything to hurt him _the punch in the locker room replays and replays and replays in Ted's head and he can understand why Randy thinks this way and why Cody says the words he does but at the same time, still doesn't _and he even offered him a car ride but Ted had to force him inside of his car because he was just that worried about what Cody would do all by himself _thought he'd hurt himself, mangle himself, thought he'd kill himself_.

He was the one to look for Cody for two hours before explaining it all to Randy Orton and he never stopped looking until Randy found him turned every stone, _looked through every store, every drug store, everything_. He was the one to have a horror-struck nightmare about his friend _about being the one to hurt him, remembering the punch in the locker room, about being the one to push him into committing suicide…but that's not true, how could it be?_ Ted didn't do anything to tempt him like that.

"I didn't do anything! The little bitch just wants someone to blame!"

Cody's heart might've stopped into his chest at the Ted's words. Each one carved themselves, scraped themselves in Cody's so bleeding heart, making more cuts and holes and Cody just watched, not saying anything, not doing anything at all.

Randy's eyes widened and he gave Ted a quick, hard RKO and he didn't regret it as he saw Ted falling towards the white bleachers and hit his head and feel the pain shooting up his head and he gritted his teeth as he looked at Cody in betrayal. Ted quickly stood up and ran over towards Cody, ramming him towards the wall and their two eyes intensely meet.

Ted's was filled with confusion, deception and anger, pure anger flowing through Ted's veins and arteries and towards his heart.

Cody's was filled with sorrow, depression and fear, exploding fear burning through Cody's veins and arteries and towards his heart.

Ted was just so angry and anyone can see it. Anyone could see the darkness that accumulated and gathered and clustered Ted's wide eyes. And as Randy grabbed onto Ted's shoulder and jerked him backwards, the anger quickly faded and nothing was left but deception.

"One chance. I swear, DiBiase, just one chance. If you dare do anything to him, I'll personally kill you." Randy's voice was filled with determination and certainty and sweat ran down Randy's forehead and Ted DiBiase's eyes struck fear as he slowly, oh so slowly, nodded his head.

"Good."

* * *

**Imprinted** on skin.

**Tattoos**.

Of the **unforgotten**.

**Marked** on heart.

**Tattoos**.

Of the **darkness**.

**Marked** on **Ted**.

**Tattoos**.

Of Cody's **shadows**.

_(I'm sorry, Ted)_

**Tattoos**.

Of Cody's **horror**.

_(I can't run away either)_

* * *

Ted just can't believe it.

_My best friend…_

Turned on him.

Now, he knew what Randy Orton felt like.

Betrayed.

Seeking revenge.

Just feeling the sweet taste of it at the tip of his tongue.

_Cody, why?_

He just didn't know why he said it.

* * *

All's **dead**.

All's **gone**.

All's left to **gain**.

* * *

Edge's hard brown eyes were soothed at the vivid image of Jeff and Punk being beaten down by Cody Rhodes in an instant.

The forcefulness, the ferocity, the rage, and the wrath as he threw Punk towards Jeff Hardy. The hardened mass of darkness in Cody's eyes had sent a chill up Edge's spine. Talent was smeared all over the Rhodes' boy and Edge knew it. _He can go somewhere…_ he stepped towards Legacy's locker room and saw the bits and pieces of the champagne bottle on the floor.

Alcohol.

That was Cody's trigger. His eyes went up to Ted DiBiase, standing stiff and still, not noticing Edge's presence as Edge smirked.

What would happen if he got Ted DiBiase drunk?

* * *

I'm **sorry**.

_(Sorry won't cut it)_

It's…it's…

_(What is it Cody?)_

I'm **all** messed up.

_(You're always messed up!)_

I swear I'll make this up to you.

_(MAKE IT UP TO ME!? You saw what Randy did.)_

I'm **sorry**…

_(You saw what Randy did…)_

**All** my fault.

_(Always was)_

You're **cutting** me to the **edge**, Ted.

_(You know that sorry doesn't cut it, Cody)_

* * *

Cody's eyes fluttered open.

The terrible horrible terrifying nightmare had struck Cody hard in his head. He didn't want to think of Ted. They had returned to the locker room, after Randy had insisted on bandaging all of his body _from cuts of nightmares and bruises of c-c-cold dust and dead skin from the returning from the horrifying playground that used to be a made of dreams_, to find no sign of Ted anywhere.

And it hurt Cody more than anything to know how he'd broken his best friend. How he'd broken his tag team partner into smoldering rubble and he didn't know how to fix this mistake. He didn't know where Ted was and feared for where he was. And he didn't know how to sleep.

He stood up from his bed and walked towards where Ted slept, on the couch, he sat down onto the couch, wedged between the blankets and the pillows, feeling alone and sinking into darkness and he didn't know if he can breathe. He didn't feel close to Ted at all.

Just more and more away.

_You're so disappointing, Cody._

The voices banged through his head, reminding him of how he'd flung out of the car, of how he'd hurt and scraped and bled when Randy found him hours later and all he could feel was the air around him, and he felt as if the air was truly Ted DiBiase ready to suffocate him.

_You should be dead right now for how you've hurt Ted._

* * *

**Deception**.

**Deception** was **biting** up **Ted** DiBiase's **heart**.

And he didn't know what to do **next**.

Because he had **no one** to guide him.

And **no one** to follow him.

Just **all** **alone**.

**Deceived**.

**

* * *

**

**What? I'm happy!**

**=D**

**I'm sorry Ted.**

**Miz: *stares up at fanfic* Hey, that's my line!**

**Yes and I stole it so BE JEALOUS!**

**- Sam**


	4. Too Much Alcohol Alert

**Sadly…this chapter is all Ted and Edge sadly, no Cody but it will go back to Cody in the next chapter!**

**Chapter 3**

**Too Much Alcohol Alert**

**And forget how to hate**

**Mental wounds not healing**

* * *

_**you love alcohol too much**_

_**and you know you shouldn't have agreed**_

_**to go to the bar with EDGE**_

_**but you don't care anymore**_

_**because all you want to do is forget**_

_**randy orton and cody rhodes**_

_**and black and blue and red**_

_**and you want to see everything blurred**_

_**you don't want to hear anything**_

_**you don't care about anything anymore**_

_**you don't want to remember**_

_**your wedding day**_

_**joining legacy**_

_**being born**_

_**nothing at all**_

_**you want your head to be filled with nothing**_

_**but the bubbly alcohol**_

* * *

_(the first hour…)_

You spend the first hour by causally sipping the alcohol and not saying a word to Edge about anything. He's still Edge and he's not Adam and he's just the man who had taken away your belt and you don't give a damn about it. Maybe he's just Adam Copeland right now and you're both just buddies and you're both just drinking alcohol.

It all starts with a round of vodka.

The bubbly drink rips through your veins as you take the first sip and you remember your high school memories that seem so far away and you take another swing because you seriously don't want to remember anything at all and you never want you. You want your head to have no memories and no thoughts and nothing—just nothing at all.

Edge's voice rips through your thoughts as he notices that your eyes are lively and animated and vivacious with the scent of the alcohol that runs through your nose. And you're thinking of your wife as she lies in bed, and you think of her as she kisses you goodnight and how she rubs your shoulders when you feel tense and you don't think of how far away she is right now and how you spend your days trying to protect Cody Rhodes from sudden death and you don't think of how Randy Orton and you have to spend every waking moment staring at him.

You're just suddenly happy that you're alive. You relax and you start talking and babbling to Edge about just anything. "I swear I can give Jeff Hardy a pin too if I wasn't so trapped with Orton," you say and you don't care about how off you are because everything's possible and nothing's impossible. "I can probably be better than any wrestler. I mean, I am the son of the Million Dollar Man…that's how it should be."

He nods his head and pretends to listen to you but you're so trapped into your own world that you don't care and keep on blathering on and on and on and on. "And Rhodes…man, trying to kill himself, he's just crazy. All crazy. He's on the park floor, holding a razor and he's just…crazy…" his voice's so slurred that he doesn't think that anyone can listen.

Edge's eyes widen. "Really? Rhodes tried to mangle himself?" he asks and he has a curious grin on his face and you know that you're not supposed to say anything but you enthusiastically nod your head as quickly as possible and take another swing of the huge glass of vodka in front of you.

You're not alert. You can't judge. You don't know what the curious grin on Edge's face means anymore and you don't freaking care. You can't concentrate anymore and moving makes you feel dizzy as you fall back into the chair and the wood hits you on your head but you don't care. "Oh yeah, Cody had this strange addiction thing to the razor. He won't let go of it in the beginning.

"And he claims that I'm the problem. That I made him try and kill himself when we all know that I didn't do anything at all and Orton, damn it, he believed him!" you let the words slip out of his tongue. "He told me that I have one chance, and if I touch Rhodes again, I'll be dead before I hit the floor…"

* * *

**Alcohol**.

**Fills** you.

When you're **sad**.

And it doesn't **judge** you.

And it **erases** **all** the **memories**.

And you **love** it.

You just **feel** the **euphoria**.

You just don't want to **leave**.

**Ever**.

* * *

_(the second hour…)_

Ted DiBiase had never ever felt so attached to anything more in his life. He didn't know it. He didn't feel anything, the betrayal, the hate, the mournfulness, the despair, the disaster, the anger—it was all drained out of Ted's body and nothing was there but a dull spark of treachery that wouldn't ignite any time soon. His eyes were always staring at one thing, the cup of champagne that was on the table and he licked his lips.

He could almost taste the bitterness.

He could almost taste the happiness.

He could almost taste his success.

He could almost taste his failure.

And he grabbed onto the cup, drinking as quickly as possible, and wiping droplets of acid away from his face, he looked at Edge and sophistication and intelligence and life was drained out of Ted's eyes and they didn't seem to be coming back any time soon and he was just trying to stop his quivering lip, unaware of the people and the scene and the memories.

He wasn't unaware that he was still alive.

Whenever Edge asked him a question, he felt a little uneasy to answer, the alcohol would rush to his head and his blood vessels would restrict heat as coldness drained through his body and nothing would be left inside of the DiBiase boy but coldness and confusion and strangeness.

It was all so distorted and surreal.

The world. The people. The memories. Everything was so surreal and so distorted and so unclear that nothing seemed real anymore, even the quick jerky movements of his hands seemed utterly unclear and dream-like. Soon the uneasiness had been drained out of his body, since everything was so very surreal—it didn't matter, right? What he said and what he didn't say?

When he picked up the glass again, he almost dropped it and he knew it was because the room was suddenly spinning and spinning and spinning but he didn't care because he was in a dream and this wasn't reality so it shouldn't matter that the room spun or not and he shouldn't care. It was only logical. Only very logical. But at the same time, it wasn't.

Even with the room spinning and with a pounding headache and with a sloshing aching stomach, Ted DiBiase refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him because there wasn't and there never will be. He was fine. He was fine…and he could feel it. But at the same time, all he could feel was a headache and a stomachache getting worse and worse by the minute.

He wasn't aware that Edge was taking the half cup of alcohol and had sneakily made his drink stronger and as Ted tried to forget the room was spinning, with a shaking hand, he grabbed onto the glass of alcohol and he drank it all, felt the acid running through his throat, felt the nausea take over him as he dropped the glass down and it smashed to pieces.

But he wasn't aware of it at all.

He didn't care.

* * *

You don't know.

If you're **alive** or if you're **dead**.

If they're **there** or if they're **not**.

**Nothing** makes sense anymore.

You're shaded **gray**.

And you see only **gray**.

And you hear only a **crash**.

Of your **heart**.

And you're not sure **where** you are.

Anymore.

Are you **lost**?

In **yourself**?

* * *

_(the third hour…)_

Your face's so sad that even the waiter that serves you the whiskey, he gives off a frown of concern as he settle the glass of acid on your table and you stare at it and you don't know if you should drink it or if you shouldn't anymore. It's your third glass and Edge keeps asking you questions that don't make any sense. "Rhodes…you know why he tried to kill himself?"

Your face turns even bleaker as you shake your head and you bang the table in rage as you look back up at Edge's face to see the shock that's plastered on it. "Yeah! He says it's my fault but I didn't do anything…or did I?" you're suddenly doubting it and you look down at the floor with a pout on your face and now the waiter keeps staring at you like you're a disease and coming near you would spill out that rage you've been keeping in.

You stand up, suddenly feeling your blood boil and your arteries snap from the anger you've been keeping in and your veins are spreading heat to your body everywhere, and you're suddenly sweating as harsh as possible and you don't know what to do anymore. It's all because of so much alcohol but you won't stop. You can't stop because you want the alcohol to fill your empty body and soul and heart up and you can't stop now.

It's nowhere close to halfway.

It's midnight and you hold onto the cup in your hands before you drink the whiskey that's inside, you feel yourself get so high that you want to fall flat on the floor but you don't. Instead, you're still standing with legs made of Jell-O and dull hair and shaken hands and hurt, hurt, hurt eyes and you don't know what to do anymore so you let the glass settle back on the table but the rage inside of you finally spills. "I swear! Cody can be such a—he can be so annoying sometimes. He thinks just because I care he can take advantage of it! Well, I'm not his friend anymore so he can go crawl to Orton with bruises that I'll give him! Why the hell would he say that I did it?!"

Edge stares in amusement but rolls his eyes at the same time and he doesn't say anything but sip the halfway glass of champagne he ordered three hours ago and you don't care that you're going hysterical in front of a public bar and you don't care that you're burning up inside, in a public place—you have the right, don't you? And your thoughts are so slurred and confusing that you don't notice and care that everyone's staring straight at you.

"He did this to me! I can't believe that he got Randy to hit me! I can't believe that he'd do this to me!" You fall back down on your car and everyone goes back to laughing and dancing and gossiping as if you're not there and you're not. If they act like you're not there, then why should you act like you're here?

You breathe in and out and you look at Edge with a look of dark triumph blazing through you and you don't know why you're suddenly so happy and light headed but you are.

"So you're saying that Orton bashed you?" and you nod your head in a happy state because you don't know why you're so angry or sad or happy anymore and those emotions seem to plaster themselves on your face and you can't control your own hormones or your own body because you keep on hitting your hand on the table and sometimes, your head on your chair and all you can do is stare at Edge's face.

"So you have no intention of going back to him?"

"I do. I mean how can I prove myself to him if I don't go back?" you ask as if it's the most obvious goal set to your mind and Edge sighs before he shakes his head and thinks to himself about how you're so confusing but you don't care even if you can see the emotion splashed across his face.

* * *

You're so **in vain**.

You don't even **know** it.

* * *

_(the fourth hour…)_

You don't understand anything. You've just had a glass of tonic and gin and your mind is spinning like Hell and you feel like you're unconscious but you can still see colors, dull, out of sense colors are in front of your face and you think that they're pictures. Your vision's so impaired that you think you can't see enough to stand up but you try to anyways.

And you don't know how to move and you don't know how fast or how slow is your speed that you end up slamming Edge in the stomach and Edge's eyes turn gleeful. "Fight!" and he grabs you by the hand and pushes you towards the floor and you stare at him with eyes that can't comprehend the image that's Edge and you take his arm and twist it behind his back, making him fall down in defeat.

You stand up on a chair and hit Edge right in his head by jumping at him and landing head first on his stomach, and your hands dig into his stomach as well and he lets out a cry of pain but somewhere along the cry of pain, there's satisfaction as he pushes you off and grips onto your arms. "Do you know what this means?" he asks you.

You shake your head and you can't really comprehend the colors and the sentences and the words he's saying but you try to take it in. You don't think you remember who you are or who anyone else is so how can you understand what he means? "DiBiase," that's your name? "You know that you and I can be tag team warriors. I'll dump Jericho and you can be my new tag team champion. _The Rated R Dream_. That's perfect!"

You slowly nod your head because you don't understand anything as he lets go of your arms with a gleeful smile painted on his face.

* * *

You don't know **what** you are.

**Who** you are.

But you think that you've done a **bad** thing.

Your stomach **flips**.

And your head **spins**.

And **voices** **protest** inside your head.

* * *

Ted DiBiase's heart pounded and threatened to burst through his chest and as he grabbed onto his car keys and jiggled it inside of the car, he tried to drive but he didn't know how it, the exhilaration was killing him and all he wanted to do was go home because he could feel his heart working and working and beating and beating and threatening to stop any second if he didn't do anything about it.

He got into the car and drove off and he knew that he couldn't see well but he hoped that God would keep him alive at the end of this and as he stopped off at the hotel that Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes were at, he got a room for himself, in the same floor as Randy and Cody and even with pain swirling through his head, he managed to get to his room and fall onto the bed and black out from the exhaustion and the alcohol that swallowed him hole.

But Ted didn't know that the amount of alcohol that he drank could've killed him. He didn't do any of that and he couldn't remember why he was all alone when he had slipped into full unconsciousness.

* * *

**Alone**  
You sit **alone** on the **floor**  
Waiting for a **miracle**  
But **no one** comes  
And **no one** stays  
And you sit on the **floor**  
**Away** from the world  
And you know you're not **leaving** anytime soon  
Because **no one's** here to **save** you  
You're **simply alone**, Mr. **Simply Priceless**.

* * *

**I promise! Cody and Randy in the next chapter!**

_**The Rated R Dream.**_

**Sounds like something Edge would come up with. :P**


	5. Train Phobia

**Update!**

**Chapter 4  
Train Phobia**

**Life's a bitter shame  
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train**

* * *

_Memories of you and him  
Memories of __**(black and blue, Dustin, I'm all pained and crushing down and worn out, all of me)**__ and __(yellow and red, you're all colorful and sweet and candy coated, all of you)__  
You've always been black and blue  
Bruises and coldness and nightmares  
In the playground that's supposedly made of dreams  
And now, it's killing you on the inside  
Knowing that he's all yellow and red  
Sunshine and love and lilies  
Sunshine dust that makes him fly  
You just watch, dreaming, wanting, believing  
And Dustin just doesn't think you're worthy enough  
Because he broke your dreams  
He's made you fear what you want  
He's made you break your childish beliefs because he doesn't believe in them as much as you do  
__**(I'm hurt, Dustin, I'm so very hurt because of you)**__  
__(Why do you care that you're hurt? No one else seems to care)  
__**(Please, Dustin—please—)**__  
Your words are suffocated by his yellow sunshine dusk and his red love and his orange and red and yellow lilies and you don't know how to handle it anymore but it hurts when he shoves it down your throat  
"Dustin, I-I'm dying inside"  
"Be dead"  
And you just want to cry  
Because all of your dreams  
All of your heart  
All of you  
Is bleeding, shattered and dead and no one really knows._

* * *

The phone's ringing and ringing and ringing and Cody answers it with shaking hands, a pale face, and two wide turquoise eyes that seem to shine even in the black dark and he just doesn't know how dull they are and he doesn't even care anymore now that no one really cared.

"Randy?"

"No, Cody."

It's Ted and Cody just wants to hold him and hug him and tell him that he's sorry and that it's all Dustin's fault but it's not because Dustin's always right and he's just saying the truth that Cody's always been denying inside and that's all it ever is and he can almost see Ted's eyes swell and well and burn up with the pain that Cody's seen and felt and he just wants it all to be better.

Dreams are something that Cody Rhodes had never seen in a long time and he doesn't think he'll see them again because he's just so scarred on the inside.

"Oh, you."

His voice's dipped with venom and it hurts Cody even if he knows that he deserves it and he can feel the tears burn up in his eyes as he grips onto the phone, as tight as ever.

"I'm sorry, Ted. Really. We really miss you. Even if Randy doesn't show it, I'm sure he—"

"Shut the hell up."

Cody's eyes threaten to pop out of his sockets and he knows that the only person with that much venom in his voice's Dustin and he stares at a sleeping Randy and he thinks that Randy will be like Dustin and Ted and he fears that they'll like breaking him like now.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Rhodes but you've been like this to me, why should I be any kind to you? It's just cruel to be kind now."

Silence passes through the room and engulfs the Rhodes boy into nothing and he feels himself getting swallowed whole as he waits for Ted to say something because he can't protest and he knows that he's been cruel to Ted and that he deserves every bit of this.

"I just wanted to call to tell you that I have a new tag team partner. Edge."

The silence still sinks into Cody as he tries to find his voice and he knows how cunning Edge is and he just wants to get these thoughts straight but the only thing that falls out of his mouth is "please, come back" and it was so soft and so quiet that he doesn't think that Ted hears it.

"I won't come back if you're still in Legacy," Cody feels the phone shake and he knows that he's shaking from the knowledge of what he has to do and he knows that he'll miss Randy and he shuts the phone with last thoughts of Ted's voice, so cold and so filled with venom, that's not the Ted he knows.

When Randy wakes up, Cody still has circles and circles standing in his head from dizziness and memories are spiraling through his head, of Dustin, and he stares down and he doesn't know how to stop the dizziness or the sudden nausea that's rolling through his stomach. "Cody?"

Cody looks up and nothing spills out of his mouth and he looks down at his feet and the painful words are barely falling out of his mouth "I quit."

"Quit?" Randy steps back and stares at Cody's broken eyes and he doesn't know what else to think or say or anything as he stands, just staring at those eyes and trying to put the words together. "You want to quit Legacy?"

"Ted quit." Cody says, in a bitter voice, remembering the heart wrenching conversation and he tries not to think of it but it's spiraling through his head and it's sticking to his brain, like a fork to his brain and he doesn't know how to rid of it. "I quit, too."

"Cody, then what'll happen to Legacy?"

"_Hate Legacy."_

"I hate Legacy."

"_Hate Ted."_

"I hate Ted."

"_Hate Randy."_

"I hate you, Randy."

And Randy steps back with pain in his eyes and he looks down at his feet and every soft word's still a knife to the heart and he doesn't know how such a soft, broken voice can rip through him so harshly and Cody doesn't want to open his mouth again and say anymore words because everything—just everything—hurts now. His head's exploding and his throat's so dry and his eyes are threatening to pop out of his head and his heart's zapped by his own electricity and his blood's so hot it's burning through his so cracked and so dead flesh.

Randy's face turns rigid and cold and there's ice in his veins. He turns around and he doesn't say another word because the pain inside of him is eating him whole and just before he steps out, he looks behind his shoulder, "Cody, don't try killing yourself after this."

**You're heart pumping gasoline. It burns.**

Cody nods his head once and doesn't say another word and he stares at Randy's baby blue eyes. And he feels his heart break just by staring at those little shattered eyes.

* * *

Quench your thirst with **sweet** gasoline  
You just don't know  
That it's **burning** you  
All of you  
Until there's **nothing** left  
But **tears** and **blood** and **acid**  
Rushing through your throat  
**Burning** into your pores  
**Alcohol** and **tears**  
You're sure you're **dead**

* * *

Ted looked at the grim white paper in his hands.

It was instructions for the match today.

And his hands were frozen and his eyes were threatening to roll back into his head and he didn't know if he knew all the moves and he didn't know who he'll hurt doing this and he knew that Randy will be so betrayed looking at him and he bit his lower lip and wished that someone would help him.

The lingering taste of alcohol burned up with the sweat that was falling, clustered in his hairline, running down like broken tears and Ted looked up in the sky, wanting someone to help him and he didn't know if God can listen to his silent pleas as he looked down at the floor of nothingness.

"God if you can listen," he looked down at his feet. "Then don't make me do this…don't make me hurt them!"

His words were filled with sorrow and he knew he should've never quit and it was never the Rated R Dream.

It was the Rated R Nightmare.

"I don't want to be in this nightmare anymore…"

* * *

_**You're on the edge  
and falling off  
and you know that you should've never fallen  
if you'd stayed in place  
with those little boys that are always smiling so brokenly at you  
you should've known better  
they've always looked up at you  
now, you'll be happy if you're  
**_**ALIVE**_**  
after you fall**_

* * *

Cody stepped towards the subway.

He was waiting for the train and his face was cracked and it was so late at night that no one was around and he knew that he couldn't stay at the same hotel as Randy anymore and he waited until he heard the screeching of the train and he felt two hands push him towards the rail.

Cody whipped his head to look at the dark eyes of Dustin and Cody didn't know what was going on as Dustin pinned him down onto the rail and laughed and laughed. "Who'll save you now?" and Cody heard the sound of screeching and fear buckled him whole as he saw the bright light—_the bright light of Randy's flashlight_—"Randy! Ted!" he screamed, his sound so weak but he tried to make it as loud as possible.

His head spun with fiery and his eyes wanted to roll back in his head from the excessive light and he braced for the pain that was going to kill him and when he felt the quick train's steep little tracks push into him and mash half of his body into nothingness, he also felt two hands grab onto his body and looked at him with confusion and it took a while for Cody to make out who it was.

It was John Cena.

* * *

_Can I trust you, John?  
__**(trust is something I've lost)**__  
Should I tell you lies?  
__**(it's all I ever seem to be. All lies)**__  
What should I do  
When everyone knows that I'm fully dead on the inside?  
__**(I'm dead and can you see it?)**__  
And when everyone knows that I'm dying  
And no one can save me?  
__**(No one knows.  
No one cares.)**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Ted:...why is John Cena in this?**

**You'll know later.**

**Ted: Who else is going to be in here?**

**You'll know later.**

**Ted: Is there anything I can know now?**

**My time is now!**

**Ted: JOHN CENA!**

**;) Sam**

**Next chapter... **

**Preview: **

_Shows Edge putting whisky in Ted's water bottle...  
Flashes John Cena stepping into the ring with Cody Rhodes.._.  
Lilian Garcia: Please welcome the challengers, weighing at a combined weight of 459, the team of John Cena and Cody Rhodes!  
_Snaps to Ted and Edge in the ring with them...  
Lilian Garcia: And the opponents, weighing at a combined weight of 488, the team of Ted DiBiase and Edge!_

**That any exciting?**


	6. Tag Team Match

**Chapter 5**

**Tag Team Match**

_**I've listened to preachers  
I've listened to fools**_

__

_Should I tell the truth?  
__**(the truth that'll probably break both of us)**__  
Should I lie?  
__**(because you lie about everything and you don't know who you are anymore anyways)  
**__What can I deny?  
__**(deny that you're being abused, raped and beaten down?)**__  
What's the world right now?  
__**(all gray)  
**__Spinning and spinning…  
__**(it doesn't stop)**__  
I can't breathe now.  
__**(all suffocating in gray)**_

__

They walked down the road and they didn't let the silence engulf them and their words could mean everything as they slipped out of their tongues. "Rhodes, why the hell were you doing? You could've killed yourself!"

Cody's face relaxed and his eyes were staring at John's face and they didn't care where they were going anymore because they were still continuing the conversation no matter where they stopped at. "Then it'll be the second time," Cody hated lying but it was the only thing he could do right now—lie about it all and he'd been doing that for so long, he was shocked that they were rolling off his tongue so easily.

"You tried killing yourself before?" John asked with confusion and concern and anger in his voice. "Why would you of all people do that, Rhodes? Someone's been hurting you or something?"

"Just one of those crazy things you do when you cut too deep," Cody lets the word fall off, each one biting him inside like poison, each one burning hot acid in his throat.

"Why would you cut in the first place?" Cody looked at him and he didn't know if his lies were going to work and he took a deep breath as he pondered about why and how and what—his head was spinning and he found himself twisting his head to look at John's again.

"I accidentally let it scrape me in the shower and after that, I just got hooked," it seemed like a reasonable explanation and he didn't know if John Cena accepted it or not as he held onto Cody's shoulder and Cody wanted to flinch from the pain that ate up his entire body but he tried being as normal as possible. "Ted quit Legacy," the thoughts rushed to him again, like a wave, swallowing him, drowning him, thoughts of now broken Ted.

He tried to shake them out of his head but they were too clear, too painful, too vivid and too colorful and he found himself, thinking and suffocating and choking on those memories and he wanted to escape it all and he twisted his head towards John Cena. "I quit Legacy."

"Good for you. I always thought you were on the sidelines, maybe now you can get make your own legacy now that you're on your own." John replied and his eyes trailing along Cody's face, cracked and dry face and chapped lips and dull hair and shattered and bloodshot turquoise eyes that screamed pain.

"But I don't know where to start," Cody admitted and he knew that he'd always followed what Randy did and he was a follower and he didn't know how to take care of himself at all and he feared that he can't.

"Hear what I say, I'll help you get a head start," John said, looking over Cody's too shattered and too cracked and too pained face and Cody's face lit up like a hopeful child that he'd had someone that cared, even if for a moment. "Since you fancy tag teams…I'll fight with you."

"You serious?"

"Yes, Rhodes." John laughed and he grabbed onto Cody's wrist, before pulling him towards his hotel and he looked towards the boy with a confused look, "what? I thought that if we're going to be a tag team, we should at least share the same room. I have to wake you up for training." He grinned.

"Training?" Cody repeated.

John nodded his head once and clasped on Cody's hand tightly before pulling him into the hotel room.

Cody realized that it didn't matter what hotel room he stayed in or the scent of the hotel that had hit his brain with nausea—it was the memories. Memories of Ted falling running towards the lobby with a coffee in one hand and spilling it over himself, memories of Randy impersonating John Cena, with a hat and his shirt and everything, to humor both him and Ted, memories of his late night Ted and him gossiping and dishing over nothing and everything and just anything and he realized that those memories couldn't be erased.

And they were far away from Cody's reach.

And he didn't know if he could fly that high, attempting to reach those memories, without falling and crashing in pain and misery and desolation.

__

_**i'm lost here  
are you lost too?  
I'm trapped here  
are you scared too?  
teddy, i left you the key to my heart  
you threw it away  
so now we're both trapped  
inside of my forever bleeding heart**_

__

Ted looked over his shoulder and he was holding a bottle of tonic in one hand and he knew that his finger was circling around the bottle's entrance and he took a huge gulp of acid and he felt the blood rush to his head and he felt his arteries pulse in protest and he felt his veins threaten to pop out of his body but he didn't care.

His thoughts were on Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes.

Why was he missing them? Randy deserved this for hurting him and Cody deserved this from accusing him of something he didn't do and Ted knew that he'd never be Randy's lackey again and now, the world was unlimited and—Ted can't see anything but black and white all over as the nausea rolled into his stomach and as the blood bit through his veins and as the oxygen battled to enter his lungs. With Legacy, the world had colors.

The color red was when Randy got angry at him for burrowing his shirts without asking because of the rage that burned into Randy's eyes. The color blue was when Cody drank from the blue flask that Ted had hated so very much. The color green was of Randy making fun of his favorite green pants, saying that it made him look like a "tree". The color yellow was when Cody stole his glasses and he had to run around in the hot sun trying to get them back. The color pink was when Cody and him had the same crush on a girl and it'll all be struck in pink because of Ted (_**red**__; blood, rage, love, alcohol)_ with Cody _(__**white**__; pure, innocent, little Cody)._ The color purple was when Ted and Cody end up fighting and gossiping when they were supposed to be asleep.

All the colors.

His thoughts were on Legacy.

Now broken, now shattered Legacy because Ted quit and he took another sip, letting bile rise up in his throat and his heart rate go up so high that Ted thought that the next sip would be his last as he put the bottle down and stared off into the endless darkness he was living in right now.

Ted was red. Edge was black.

Edge hid Ted. Edge was completely and utterly black.

Edge hid Ted's love, his rage, his blood, and no one can see how the boy was breaking inside.

__

**The world only has two colors.  
Black and white.  
I don't have a color anymore.  
I'm just covered by black.  
Can they bite me and shed my skin to find the precious love inside?  
I'm just covered.  
By black.  
And I think it's rotting me and turning me into black.  
I want to hold onto to every piece of love I have.  
It's so hard.  
I need you both.  
Save me.**

__

Randy looked up at the ceiling.

He didn't like being lonely.

He had let go two of the most important people of his life and he didn't know why he did that and as he made his way to the Legacy locker room, Ted and Cody's belongings placed on the bench, Randy sighed in frustration, wanting nothing more than to stop them from doing this.

He wanted them both to stay.

He watched little Cody pick up his things and leave without a word slipping out of his mouth, just hard turquoise eyes filled with pain and agony and misery and as he stepped out, Randy didn't even bother asking what he'd do now that he quit Legacy and he watched Ted come about a half hour later, grab onto his box and leave as fast as possible, and at the back of his t-shirt it said "Rated R Dream" and Randy tried to make himself feel better by mocking the name.

He looked back up at the ceiling then his eyes are tracing through the room and he realized that—

He was trapped in this misery that suffocating him whole.

__

_They made me feel whole.  
__**(I'm complete with them)**__  
Now that both of them are gone…  
__**(forever)**__  
I'm empty.  
Completely hollow on the inside.  
Fill me up with love and blood.  
Because I've lost life.  
I'm so dead on the inside.__**  
(can you see the shattered boy in the mirror? I think it's me)**_

__

Edge watched as Ted blacked out from the excessive tonic and alcohol in his hands. The window was shattered, completely shattered, pieces on the floor and Ted's knuckles were bloodied and cut in various areas and Edge smiled because this was going all to plan and he'd soon be winning the title for the world tag team championship along with Ted DiBiase.

Edge grabbed onto Ted's water bottle and filled it with the remains of Ted's whiskey bottle and throwing it in Ted's bag and he knew that Ted will drink his water bottle and he'd be completely unaware of the amount of whiskey Edge placed in it and they'd win.

That was what Edge liked to hear.

They'd win.

__

**You're so blind of deception, Teddy.**  
_(I don't want to be alone anymore)_

__

The ring was all brightened up by a bright blue light.

Cody hadn't been in the ring since his suicide attempt and he felt like a child facing school again after summer vacation, nervous, tedious and just wanted it to be over with but half of him was excited and jumping around because he was with John Cena of all people and at the same time, acid knots tightened in his stomach and haunting blue strikes of lightening burn up in Cody's mind as he stared at the ring. John's theme song played and blared through the speakers and Cody wanted to run off at the sudden surge of loud music but he didn't.

John went in the ring first and he had Cody right behind him and they were staring at the ring and they knew they have to face it sooner or later, whether they like it or not and John gave Cody an encouraging look as Cody slowly nodded his head at the look in his eyes.

Lillian Garcia's high pitched, annoying sound filled the thick atmosphere that hung around John and Cody as people looked in shock and surprise at the mixture of two different people standing close by, as a tag team of everything. "Please welcome the challengers, weighing at a combined weight of 459, the team of John Cena and Cody Rhode!"

Soon afterwards, they were staring at two people stepping out of the opposite side of the arena. "And the opponents, weighing at a combined weight of 488, the team of Ted DiBiase and Edge!" Ted and Edge had their own outfit now and John took in all the detail at once, black sleeveless shirts with 'Rated R Dream' dripping in white, black pants and boots and they even had their own theme song. A mixture of metal and rock ripped through the stage.

At the sight of his old tag team partner, Cody's acidy knots got harsher and more painful and he ended up looking down because out of everything he didn't want to face Ted and not after what happened and he looked back up, to stare straight into their eyes. John stepped out of the ring, holding onto the ropes, Edge watched as Ted stayed by the ropes before he charged towards Cody, into a spear. Cody crashed towards the floor, with Edge on top of him and pain ripped and he knew that he should've waited until his injuries from his suicide attempt heal because he was now burning up pain.

Cody attempted to punch Edge off of him and successful, he gave Edge a punch in the gut then clutched to his own stomach. Cody ran over towards John and he watched as John slipped into the ring, looking deadly at an overexcited Edge before grabbing onto his shoulders and pushing him towards the ropes and as Edge smirked, his plan was coming to motion and he was seeing it right in front of him.

Ted stepped in the ring and Edge descended, staring as John charged a drunken Ted to the floor and Ted held onto John's shoulder and wrenching it and letting John fall down towards him and Ted let out a dark laugh as he took John's arms tightly and he lifted him so that they were face to face and Ted's hands moved to John's shoulders and Ted rolled down, sending John to the other side of the ring, hitting the metal and as Ted ran over, he grabbed onto an unconscious John and brought him at the center of the ring, laughing his bubbly laugh, he pinned him.

"1…"

John Cena slowly opened his eyes.

"2…"

John realized what was going on…

"3…"

It was too late as he heard the "Rated R Dream" music blaring out and Ted standing him and Edge hugging him and giving a smirking look towards John and John tried to register the words he was hearing "who knew DiBiase can be like this?" and "did John Cena get pinned by Ted DiBiase?" before Cody knelt by his side, holding onto John's hand and helping him get up as the dizziness over washed him.

"Your new tag team champions: Ted DiBiase and Edge!"

Backstage, Randy was staring at the match, replayed it over and over in his head—his Ted was teaming with Edge liked he did, and his Cody was teaming up with none other than John Cena—they didn't need him anymore.

Randy didn't know if he needed himself anymore.

__

_The Rated R Nightmare wins.  
So typically.  
And you still lay in bed, with nightmares in your head about it all and you wonder if you should take the phone and call 911 to find yourself because you're no longer who you really are.  
__**(Ted DiBiase)**__  
You think that's who you are as you watch the rerun of the tape.  
__**(You want to apologize to John Cena)**__  
But he had it coming, didn't he?  
You spend the night, shaking and shivering, almost crying, filled up with acid and alcohol, you think you're burning up.  
__**(Burn to life, Teddy)**_

_**__**_

**I'm pleased with this one. I like it. I don't know why though.**

**- Sam**


	7. A Deal With The Devil

**Another chapter...**

**Chapter 6  
A Deal with the Devil**

_**I've watched all the dropouts  
who make their own rules**_

__

_**They say that the world ends with a bang…**_

__

Ted DiBiase stands by the window, it's shattered and broken and the pieces are stained with his blood and he knows how Cody feels because he feels his arteries threaten to burst with hot blood and he feels the veins popping out of his skin and he can't feel the pain and as he looks down at the floor to face the shattered pieces of glass that are down there.

He thinks that his wrists have had enough but he knows that the blood's dry and clustered and he picks up the pieces off the floor, bringing the shattered piece of glass close to his supposed to be all perfect skin as he closes his eyes and scrapes the glass on the blood and he lets a grunt escape his mouth and he doesn't know how to feel pain and it breaks him on the inside knowing that he's not human. And tears are threatening to fall off Ted's face as he drops the glass down and looks at the stained blood pieces of the glass on the floor and then at the blood that's furiously dripping from his hands.

It's all so surreal.

Ted doesn't know if he's alive or if he's dead, if he's human or if he's not and he thinks that he isn't as he looks back at the blood burning and falling from his hands and he knows that all he cares about now is being human and being real and being in his world but he's not.

He's so out of his world that he's off into a place where blurred lines can only mean love and where gray is the color of darkness.

He's falling into shades of gray.

And nothing's left inside of Ted's red (_love; blood; rage_) heart and he's been eaten and turned into black and gray and he doesn't know if he'll ever see a rainbow again in his life.

Fallen into shades of black.

Shades of his black depression.

In his fragile glassy heart.

__

…_**Ted's world ended with a whimper rising up from his throat.**_

__

Randy wants to fall asleep but he can't close his eyes.

His eyes are wide awake and he's in his hotel room, the one that's shared with Cody and Ted, the one that he's breathed Ted and Cody in and he misses them and he wants them back but the problem is that he doesn't know how to get them back and why would they want to be back with him? Cody's a big shot now that he's with John Cena and Ted had done moves in the ring that had left John totaled onto the ring floor without a breath of air _you don't think he can breathe anyways with the way he looks like_.

Randy thinks of all those times that Ted and Cody wake him up because of a silly little thing (he remembers once that they were hungry and they wanted the passkey of the room) and he chuckles to himself as he looks around, then his smile fades and dims. "Hey, Ted, I told you that the damn passkey's in the drawer."

There's no sound around him and Randy's smile reforms slowly, "that's what I thought. You wake me up again I'll tear your face off," and he lays his head back onto the pillow, with that weak smile still plastered on his face. "I miss you, guys. I know it's sappy but I seriously miss you guys."

Silence and silence and silence…

"I know. You're better off without me."

Silence and silence and silence…

"I'm sorry, Cods. I'm sorry, Teddy."

And he falls asleep from exhaustion with thoughts of his tag team partners and his eyes aren't really closed and he's not dreaming and he just wants to fall asleep like he normally does, being woken up every hour of the hour to repeat this stupid routine but they're gone now.

And they're not coming back.

__

_**You want to sleep.  
But you can't close your eyes.  
You don't think that the dead falls asleep.  
Because the dead has always been asleep.  
Randy wants to fall asleep.  
But he doesn't know that he's already asleep all the time.  
And he needs a wake up call.  
No one screams. No one shouts. No voice heard.  
Silence and silence and silence…  
And he falls back into his sleep of the dead.**_

__

Cody lies on the couch and even with John's constant offering, Cody declines sleeping in a bed and John takes the message after the fifteenth time repeating his offer and as John throws a blanket towards him, Cody looks down at it and looks around the room and the memories are still there and he can't escape anything as he slowly slips into sleep.

"You think you're going to be okay?"

"Hmm?"

"You know—you're not going to end up cutting yourself are you?"

Cody shakes his head and looks down at the floor and he licks his lower lip. "I don't think so, I'm exhausted," but he spends the night staring at the ceiling and waiting to fall asleep but he doesn't and in the darkness, he doesn't know if he's awake or if he's asleep and he guesses that he's both, awake and asleep.

And when the dawn breaks, Cody rescinds the light because he just wants to fall asleep and die but he can't.

__

**You're so used to the darkness.  
That light's become an enemy.**

__

And as Edge stands, waiting and waiting and waiting, he sees as Randy Orton comes forth towards him and their eyes lock with hatred and they look away with disgust burning and rolling up inside of him.

"You want DiBiase back?" Edge snaps and Randy nods his head and he's determined and it shows in his eyes but Edge lets out a bubbly laugh and Randy knows that he's dealing with the devil and not Edge.

"Unless you're willing to be so kind as to expect my conditions…"

**I don't like Adam anymore.**

**;D Sam**


	8. Inner Soundtrack

**I suck at trying to write lyrics. I just figured that The Rated R Dream had a theme song, didn't it? And it was fun… :D**

**Chapter 7  
Inner Soundtrack**

_**One person conditioned  
to rule and control  
**___

Ted grabbed onto the phone, so swiftly and so tactfully and he was flipping through messages and he frowned that no one had given him anything and the clustered dry blood was tugging at him and his head had been exploding, over and over, over and over, exploding inside, an inferno began into his fried crushed brain and now, he knew that he couldn't think clearly anymore.

They said that everyone had an inner soundtrack and Ted's used to be the songs of "Priceless", those words had always had a meaning to him and now, he had the soundtrack of a manic and he didn't even care and he just pretended that he hadn't changed when he knew that Ted DiBiase of Legacy would never have cut himself and when he knew that Ted DiBiase of Legacy would never break this way and he knew that Ted DiBiase of Legacy would be looking for Legacy every time he got lost and now that he was lost—he was sure that he can't be found and no one should even bother trying to save him.

_I'm not worth it._

Ted laid down onto his bed with his headphones on and he surfed his phone, finding his new inner soundtrack, "Rated R Dream" soundtrack, and he pressed on it, finally able to understand every word and try thinking of his new personality as the thrash metal played loudly into Ted's sensitive ears but Ted didn't seem to notice because he was too busy listening to the lyrics.

_Crazy!  
__**(I'm crazy scared, Randy)**__  
You've called me crazy!  
__**(I always was a maniac)**__  
When I lost my control!  
__**(My heart's bleeding, my head's exploding, I can't stop drinking and I don't know how to stop anything and I don't think that I'm doing anything. I'm just an observer, watching my own life but not doing anything about it…)  
**__Never do it again because…  
__**(I should've never done what I've done)**__  
You know that you're my puppet!  
__**(I'm your puppet, Randy)**__  
And I am the Master!!  
__**(I'm sorry for disobeying)**_

And as Ted's eyes fluttered open and his head pounded and his heart burst with the hot blood that was burning inside of Ted's body and Ted sat up, abrupt and quick, thoughtless and panting, sweaty and alert, suddenly looking at the environment around him and he knew that he wasn't home and that home was something so far away from him.

He sat down onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling and he didn't think he was alive at all and he knew one thing—

Puppets needed to be summoned.

And right now, Ted wasn't being summoned so he had stay all stiff and all frozen and he knew that he wanted Randy to come inside and complain about his lazy ass but that didn't seem to be happening any time soon.

__

…_six year old Cody Rhodes took out a piece of bottle from the top drawing, and with his best friend, Ted DiBiase Jr., following every step of the way and Cody stopped to have Ted stop and that made the young Rhodes boy chuckle uncontrollably as he turned his head to meet with Ted's lovable smile and anyone could've fallen in love with that adorable slightly chubby face of Ted DiBiase._

_Cody took a step and Ted shifted as well, to the same position as Cody and then the sound of "CODY! WHERE THE HELL IS MY ALCOHOL?!" had made them both jump up in fright then look at each other in the eyes, both mouth open, both staring at each other's eyes and both them starting to chuckle._

"_You're a robot of me, Teddy," Cody said as he darted downstairs with Ted on his heel, arguing that Cody was copying him and when their gleeful little faces met the face of Dustin Rhodes, Cody slowly dropped the bottle on the floor and he was happy that the bottle was made of strong glass or else he'd sure get Dustin yelling all over again._

_**Crazy!  
You know that I'm crazy!**_

_Dustin's hand grabbed onto Cody's little one and he looked at his brother straight in the eye, the alcohol on his breath had sent shivers down Cody's spine. Ted's eyes glued to Cody's scared little face with anger and concern and soon, Ted found himself trying to punch Dustin's built with his tiny little fists and Dustin laughed before he pushed Ted backwards to the stairs and he looked back at Cody, putting his fingers in Cody's hair and then tracing it down towards Cody's lips._

"_Do it, Dustin!" a sound from Todd electrocuted through the room and Dustin leaned down towards Cody's face, his mouth just inches away from Cody's and Cody was so defenseless and so very scared that he didn't say anything as Ted charged towards Dustin, hitting him with his tiny fists and Dustin laughed before he hit Cody towards Ted. "Go play outside! Todd and I have some catching up to do."_

_Cody nodded his head once and he knew not to talk at all as he ran towards the door and with a shaky hand, opened it, and Ted followed with a sweet smile on his face as they slammed the door shut, looked at each other and sat on the front porch, without any other word slipping out of Ted's mouth or Cody's._

"_I don't like Dustin." Ted finally said as the silence engulfed them both and Cody nodded his head in agreement before Ted stood up and looked down at the road and he looked back at Cody, "let's go walk around."_

_Cody arched an eyebrow and had his mouth slightly hung open and he stood upwards, dusting off his green t-shirt and Ted stared at him with a smile on his face and an expression of glee, "but our mothers don't like us playing around down the road. They say that there are strangers there."_

_Ted nodded his head, remembering then sulked miserably, the cold air burning into their skin and they both exchanged a look at each other once more before Ted asked, "When are your folks coming home?"_

"_I think tomorrow night or something, it's their anniversary," Cody explained as he let out a yawn and let his head fall onto his shoulder, "when are yours coming?" and the look on Ted's eyes said that they were going to stay for a long, long time and that they were going to have to spend time together._

"_We're going to be like brothers, Cody!" Ted exclaimed and a look of excitement crossed his face and he looked down at his shoes, "we'd get ice cream everyday and we'd play video games all the time and we can watch wrestling too! We can watch those videos of our daddies!"_

_Cody nodded his head and bubbled with the same excitement as Ted as they stood up and knocked onto the door. "Tomorrow, okay? Now, I want to go to sleep," Cody said, closing his eyes and savoring every moment of Ted and Cody happiness that was to come and as he realized that Dustin hadn't opened the door. He knocked again. "Dustin!"_

"_Sorry, Cods, I've got a lady friend here and we can't let you see this," Dustin said and Cody stomped his foot at the porch before slipping onto the floor and Ted followed him._

"_Do you think that his lady friend is going to get out soon? I'm cold," Ted whined and his blue eyes bubbled with fear as the night approached like a sultry sky and Ted let his arms wide as Cody climbed into them. Ted was nine, going-on-ten but he still thought of Cody as his best friend because they had so much in common and Ted had always felt this attachment to Cody._

_**Because I've lost my damn control!  
Never do it again…**_

_Ted slept with Cody in his arms but Cody looked nervously around, still having his childish fears of monsters running in the dark and a whimper escaped his throat as the coldness engulfed Cody's body._

_This was a night of horror._

_Cody thought that he'd die as he grabbed onto Ted's body, as hard as possible, Ted let out a grunt but never woke up, "I'll keep you safe, Teddy. You've all I've got until now. I don't know what'll happen if I lose you."__**  
You'll always be my puppet!  
And I'm YOUR MASTER!!**_

__

Randy couldn't get over John Cena's little act with Cody Rhodes and as Randy passed through the café, to see that John and Cody were at their normal seats, exchanging conversation, a wave of guilt flushed over him and he wanted to charge in there and RKO John with all his might but his lack of energy made him slouch and stare and only envy John.

_He doesn't know what he has._

And as Randy made a turn to walk away, he realized—_I never knew what I had. They were parts of my heart and brain and I let them go. __I'm an idiot. _And he stared at a pole, holding onto it and looking up at the gray sky that hated him, gray area, blurred lines, love, hate and he didn't know which one of them he was feeling right now as he licked his swollen lower lip and he wanted to run towards Cody and hug him right now and he wanted to race towards Ted and give him the fright of his life to see those blue eyes burn up with confusion and amusement and _love_.

Ted lost his love. He lost what he had and gained so much more, and even with drunken eyes and slurred vision, Randy knew that there was happiness slitting through his wrist—_he doesn't know that you use a blade to cut yourself and see the blood of imperfection flow and see it all in its heat and all its content and you basically cry yourself to sleep, Teddy, with sweat, blood and tears being the only thing swirling in your oh so broken head_ and as Randy paced through the road, he could almost hear that harsh metal screaming at him.

_Welcome!!  
__**(when is Randy Orton welcome anywhere?)**__  
You and me  
to our RATED R DREAM!!  
__**(It's a nightmare)**__  
Where life spins  
and you're in it TO WIN!!  
__**(I've lost everything)**_

Can he gain anything?

He's so dead right now. Faith doesn't seem to cling onto him. At all.

__

_You're my puppet and I'm your Master  
__**(Edge, you control me and you broke me)**__  
You've lost and I've won  
__**(I've lost my heart, John…help me.)**__  
You stand here, a disaster  
__**(I'm a mess of nothing without them)**__  
And you don't see that I'm as perfect as perfect can be…_

_Welcome!!  
__**(You're all burning and you don't know it)**__  
You and me  
__**(Edge, I hate our inner soundtrack)**__  
to our RATED R DREAM!!  
__**(Dreams made out of nightmares, John)**__  
Where life spins  
__**(There is no Legacy anymore…)  
**__and you're in it TO WIN!_

__

_They had woken up and looked at each other, tears running down their eyes and they knew why and they were so scared and so cold that they were clinging onto each other._

"_Please," Ted whispered. "Please tell me that it's over. It's so cold."_

_He was holding onto Cody was all his might, wanting to feel heat pass between them but Ted was shaking coldness. He'd never spent the night outside of the house and he didn't want to._

_Cody looked at him. "I want it to be over…"_

_So very cold._

_**You're my puppet and I'm your Master  
You've lost and I've won  
You stand here, a disaster  
And you don't see that I'm as perfect as perfect can be…**_

_And that morning, their tears had dried and their bodies were hard and rigid and they were just so stuck together._

"_Ted…"_

"_Huh, Cody?"_

_They couldn't move and they knew it. They had been clinging to each other that it was almost impossible for them to move._

"_Ted, I…I think I'm dead on the inside…"_

__

**(**_**Stand**_**)  
**_My desire's your command!_**  
(**_**Stand**_**)  
**_My desire's your command!_**  
(**_**Stand**_**)  
**_Or I'll let you leave the land  
OF THE RATED R DREAM!_

**Preview of next chapter: '**_**Abuse'**_**.**

**Ted: Edge, I'm leaving.  
Edge: No, you're not.  
Ted: What are you going to do about it?  
Edge: ***_**punches Ted in the face, making him fall back down***_** you're not leaving. Not until Orton gives me a better deal.**

**:) Sam**


	9. Abuse

**Finally...an update.**

**Chapter 8  
Abuse**

_**The media sells it  
and you live the role  
**_  
__

_Have you been hurt  
by someone you love?  
__**(You're just confused)**__  
You're just staring at disbelief  
__**(Did he just do that?)**__  
It hurts.  
Like Hell.  
__**(Angels just hate you.)**_

__

Edge just wanted one thing.

Fame.

Ever since he was a child, he wanted to be known and he wanted everyone to respect him and he didn't think he'll ever be respected unless he was the king of all kings, and he knew that he can't really break out of this trance his in. To be the best. To win in life.

He really didn't know what winning was.

When Ted DiBiase walked into the room, with little blue eyes and the scent of vodka and smeared pain and hidden masks and in his Rated R Dream uniform, all Edge could do was smile as he stood up and walked towards Ted. "I want out, Edge." Ted said, shaking from the coldness that was over powering the petite boy.

"What?" Edge repeated, standing closer to the boy, making him feel weak and tiny and Ted shook his head, reminding himself that he needed to go out and find Randy and find Cody and he wanted Legacy and he freaking breathed Legacy.

"Edge, I'm leaving," Ted said and he closed his eyes, taking a quick deep breath and then reopening his eyes to face a dark faced Edge who looked like he was going to pounce on him from anger and rage and fury that burned all over him and Ted stepped back slightly.

"No, you're not." Edge's voice was filled with thick, clustered anger.

"What are you going to do about it?" Ted threatened, trying to sound tough and rough and he just wanted to run out and get out and Edge knew this better than anyone as he balled his hands into fists, sending a fist to Ted's face, making him fall back down and see the world all in black and gray and shades of red—danger, danger—his mind was pierced with pain and agony and he just couldn't believe that his partner would do this to him.

"You're not leaving. Not until Orton gives me a better deal." Edge snapped, taking Ted by his shoulder and pushing him harder to the floor, making the little DiBiase boy cringe in pain and defeat as he sorrowfully nodded his head and Edge pressed his black boot into Ted's stomach for good measure. "Don't you dare think that you can walk out on me, DiBiase."

__

You're walking down the **shattered** **memories**  
Of your **pretty** little **playground**  
And you realize that **no one's** really there  
And **no one's** going to **save** you  
So you wonder and wonder and wonder  
Into the **endless** **shattered** world  
**Forever** **gone**  
From **reality**

__

_(please, just leave me alone)_

You're stuck into this world.

Plunged in black and blue.

Everything's just drained out of you and you can't breathe and you can't see and everything's so painted black and blue and you want to stop bruising and you want the nightmares to stop and you want the terror to stop but it will never stop because you deserve this.

You're stuck into this world.

No one really cares.

_(darkness just wants me dead)_

And you're hugging onto your own blankets, hearing broken-in lullabies and your shattered past comes back to haunt you.

You pick up the phone.

"Dustin?" you say and you know it's really him without saying his name but you say it anyways.

"Hey, so you're with Cena now? Oh great. Let's make sure we have some fun with him…I want you to kiss him…hard."

Your body shakes with horror and terror as you realize what he wants and you want to throw the damn phone down because you can't do it. Ever. And you just want to stop breathing and you just throw the phone onto the floor. And John wakes up and looks at you. "Orton?" he guesses.

"_**Hate Randy."**_

It still stirs into your head.

"Y-yes."

_(just kill me)_

__

_**You're just stirring into this river  
and you can't get out  
and you're drowning  
and no one really cares**_

__

Randy steps forward to Edge and sees him holding onto Ted, affectionately rubbing against Ted's cheek and Randy's face burns with rage as he sees the bruises on Ted's face. "What did you do, Edge?!" Randy asks, and his eyes are onto the huge purple-blue bruise that Edge's rubbing so harshly, making Ted recoil back into Edge's body, pressing hard.

"Nothing," Edge snaps. "Yet."

"What do you want?" Randy inquires, coming closer to him, and Edge steps back, holding onto Ted's neck hard and almost suffocating the boy.

"I wouldn't come any closer if I was you." Edge threatens.

"Oh yeah? Why?" Randy asks, snapping at him, spitting with venom and coldness and he puts on a step closer.

Edge smirks, bringing a kitchen knife out of his pocket and bringing it close to Ted's throat, making a small cut on his neck and Randy's face plasters pale as he sees Ted look nauseous and pale with pain and agony as Edge squeezes onto his body harder. "I need a deal."

"What do you want?" Randy asks, and his voice's weak and fragile, watching as Edge circles the knife around terrified Ted's throat and he thinks that he can die any minute as the nausea slits through his heart and stomach, somewhere in between and he feels dizzy and dazed as Edge holds on so hard that Ted throws up onto the sidewalk.

Randy walks, horror reeling in his face as he realizes that Ted's life is at stake and he looks down.

Edge's voice is the only thing that runs through the air. "I'm glad you see it my way."

__

**Just so very priceless, aren't we, Teddy?**  
_(Edge, you're killing me)  
_**Only because you look so beautiful dead.**

__

**Okay, I give you suggestions.**

**Should Cody kiss John and Randy or Ted witness that? So we add slash Ted/Cody or Randy/Cody or maybe even John/Cody. If you do pick this, tell me which slash couple. :P **

**Or…**

**Should I keep this all straight and make Cody intimated to kiss John and Dustin's looped back in to torture him even more?**

**Thanks, please tell me what you think or I'll go by my original idea. The first one. I'd still ask you for couples though.**

**;) Sam**


	10. Mental Issues

**Okay. I'll put up the warning as soon as I can: TOTAL SLASH. :)**

**I'll have fun with this for sure. I just love slash. And it's already a fun story to write. Yeah, I know. I don't update as much as—people but I update pretty quick considering some authors.**

**Okay and here's the next chapter. I'm considering either Ted/Randy or Ted/Cody. I'm not sure so I'll just go with the flow.**

__

**Chapter 9  
Mental Issues**

_**Mental wounds still screaming  
driving me insane**_

_**__**_

_(it's just all wrapped up into a mess)_  
**Can you clean it up?**  
_(I don't think I can clean myself up)_  
**Oh, don't be so dramatic, Teddy.**

__

Ted DiBiase had been going for a walk for at the last few hours, trying to shake off the horror of Edge's knife being so close to his throat—_circling around his throat, could've killed him, that could've been his last breath, horror reels through Ted's eyes, terror seeps through his veins, fear explodes right through the boy as acid and vomit rises up his throat and he throws up_—Ted fell back down onto a bench, his eyes staring around and he caught the sight of Cody and John towards the deck at the edge of the lake.

Ted's heart exploded with colors, red, violet, blue, pink, sweet pink, but not quite all of the colors and not quite bright but seeing Cody, it gave him a sense of life and relief and existence as the twenty-six year old boy stared at Cody while he stared into John's eyes, boring into John's eyes.

Turquoise eyes brightened by the presence of blue ones.

Priceless blue eyes stared as Cody curled to John, brokenness still in his eyes, horror exploding to all parts of Cody's little blue eyes as Cody's lips met John's and as Cody crashed his lips down, Ted saw the entire world spinning and spinning and spinning and he felt as if he was going to be sick staring at them…

Ted's heart broke.

Shattered.

It was just being lost into the darkness all over again.

__

_Glass falls  
Shatter  
_**(everything breaks)**_  
Heart falls  
Shattered  
_**(hearts break, lives break…)**_  
Pieces break  
All so very shattered.  
_**(I break.)**

__

Randy's eyes are looking at Cody and his eyes are on Ted, glancing back and forth, and this was his family and he's just scared for Ted and Cody now that they're both being broken and being shattered and tattered in their position and he knows that it's all his fault for letting them go and he should've known that they'd get hurt and mangled and torn into the darkness because he's left them there.

Why couldn't he see this?

Ted's eyes flutter in pain as he stares at Cody and John kissing and Randy's heart sinks seeing Ted in so much pain, so much heartbreak and he looks like he's been thrown back into the blackness at the back of his head and Randy just want to run to him and hug his brains out but Randy just doesn't want to hurt Ted even more and confuse him with hugs and kisses from someone who's hurt him so much before.

He just hurts Ted and Cody.

And he just doesn't want to hurt them anymore.

And he thinks of Edge, who's been putting Ted through Hell, forcing him to drink alcohol to be good at his matches and breaking him by making him bleed, bleed and bleed his heart and body out and Edge is still not satisfied at all.

__

_**Alcohol  
Acid that burns through you  
To your heart  
To your body  
Explodes  
Until you threaten  
To die**_

__

You're lost into John's eyes, blue eyes that you don't know much about and you really just want to find your way out of the sea inside of John that you're drowning in and the only thing that you hear is Dustin's voice telling you to do this as you move closer to John Cena's lap and he looks at you in confusion and soon, you crash your lips onto his.

He thinks it's good for you being here, breathing fresh air, seeing people, healing past wounds that just kept on being poked and John sees that as you press against his back and your lip crash down to his and you taste the aftertaste of Pepsi from his trip over here and you taste the confusion and the pain and just all of him and he doesn't kiss you back as you pull away.

Your eyes are staring at each other.

"Cody, why?"

He knows that there's no spark between you too and you're just friends and you don't even show a sign of love when you're together with him.

"I'm sorry."

John holds your chin and he kisses you, hard, sweet, love, and you stare at him, confused and you kiss him back but you don't want to hurt him so you get along with him, kissing him, trying to fall into those blue eyes of his but you don't think you can and you find yourselves entangled on the deck floor, and your hand's running through John's hair.

And John's breath is on your neck.

And as his breath nears to your ear, you hear him say "so you like me, Rhodes, huh?"

__

You're **drowning** into the **ocean** of **John Cena's** eyes  
You just don't **want** to get out  
And you don't think you can **get out**

Without being pushed **back** in today.

__

**Well, I think this is good.**

**;) Sam**


	11. Train Station

**I tried to make this chapter as painful as possible.**

**Yeah, it's a ball of horror.**

**Chapter 10**

**Train Station**

_**I'm going off the rails on a crazy train  
**_

__

_Glue's made to mend glass_

**(Not enough glue)**

_Then stay with a broken heart_

__

John holds onto Cody's hand and pulls him closer, squeezing his shoulder and he realizes that Cody's as ease but as John walks towards the train station, he feels Cody's shoulder tense and his breath tighten and his face turns rigid and pale with the fear that's eating him whole and John Cena looks around to find nothing and no one that Cody knows but he remembers—_Cody pushed down on the rail, almost dying, the light, the horror that had soaked through him_—and John realizes that Cody's afraid of the train right now.

He's afraid of being pushed down the rail again and John can see and feel it and can hear it from his stuttering teeth and as John looks at him in an apologetic look, he pushes Cody towards the train only to hear Cody let out a horrid scream of horror and dread and revulsion and nausea rolls through his stomach and burns right through the tiny boy's frame.

__

It's a **train**.

It goes only into the **darkness**.

To never return to _light_.

It's a **train**.

It's the express to **Shattervill**.

__

Randy approached Edge and Edge held Ted by his arm, almost twisting it and Ted tried to hide the plastered pain from his face but it hurt and Randy knew it and a smirk painted on the blonde Canadian's lips and as Randy stopped into his position, feeling defeat and disgrace fill him as Edge walked closer to Randy. "Orton…" Edge started.

But then a scream filled the air.

Randy knew that sound.

Cody's.

And as Randy looked around for his other teammate, he feared the worst for Cody and as he looked back at Ted to see the fear that had struck his face for his fellow teammate, and as Edge held onto Ted's arms, Randy glared at John, walking towards Cody and holding onto the boy's shoulder, looking at the nausea that filled his face and Edge followed, still holding Ted like a possession and as Randy looked at Cody and then at Ted—he noticed how their poor boy's lives were jumbled and jammed and broken and he wondered how he'd let his boys suffer this much.

"Cena, what the hell did you do?" Randy spat at John who simply shrugged his shoulders and ran his hand through Cody's hair in attempt to comfort and soothe the tense and frightened boy but it didn't help and Randy knew it.

"He's afraid of the train," John finally explained and Randy arched an eyebrow in doubt but as Cody slowly nodded his head, Randy's face had been painted with concern for the Rhodes boy who had just attempted to kill himself not long ago. John wondered if he should tell Randy why but decided against it as he brushed his hand towards Cody's neck, feeling the sweat that clustered there out of the fear that had burned through him.

"Cody?" John asked the silent boy.

"Ted!" Cody exclaimed, staring at the tattered and shattered boy in front of him and Edge only gripped tighter around Ted's arm.

"You are a sick bastard, Edge." John snapped at Edge and Edge only held Ted's arm harder and twisted it behind Ted's back to hear a scream of agony slipping out of Ted's mouth and as Ted looked back at John and Cody who were clinging together in fear for the Priceless boy.

Edge laughed. "I figured it out, Orton. You want little Teddy back, don't you?"

__

_Cody, sweetheart…_

**Running** **away** from your own **playground**.

Can you really **run away** from **yourself**?

__

Randy ripped his head towards Edge's direction and everyone turned silent and John was concentrating and listening as well as the little frightened boy wrapped in John's hands and as Edge's smirk widened, Randy felt a shiver run down his spine, realizing that Edge can pick almost anything as long as he got Ted back.

"I want you to spend a week inside of the train. Without going out. If you can, I'll give you the worthless boy back. If you can't—then I hope you won't mind watching him being slaughtered."

"No!" John exclaimed. "But-but-Cody's _terrified_ of trains."

Edge nodded his head, "why do you think I said 'train'?"

Ted threw up, still from the excessive drinking that Edge had gotten him to do, and John can only nod his head in agreement, seeing the tormented cluttered into pieces Ted made him agree and Randy also nodded his head. Cody looked back at the rails and back at Ted and bit his lower lip.

"Cody…" Ted begged.

"O-okay," Cody stuttered, finally giving in.

About ten minutes later, they had all found themselves inside of a cold, damp train with no one there but the five all crammed up in one space and as Edge looked at the driver, pulling out dozens of twenty in order to bribe him into keeping the train free of anyone but them for the upcoming seven days which the man had agreed with very quickly.

As they surged through the darkness, Cody gripped onto John's body and as everyone lay on the floor, still in terror of what was to come, John stroked Cody's back as he tried to fall asleep. Randy was right next to John with a sleeping Ted on his lap.

Edge stared at his masterpiece.

"Let the game begin…"

__

**Pain** is just the first **horror**

Of the seven days

Of **torture** I'll have to go through.

__

**Okay.**

**Until next time.**

**ADD: the next few chapters are LONG.  
**

**;) Sam**


	12. First Day On The Train: Nightmares

**Here is the new chapter. And as I said: long...:)  
**

**Chapter 11  
First Day On The Train: Nightmares **

**_I know that things are going wrong for me_**

__

Don't look **out**.

Because you're all in the **dark**, baby.

__

It's around ten when John wakes up to find Cody's body still pressed to his lap and his eyes are open and as John looks around to find Ted and Randy still asleep, John lays his backpack down and looks for food and as he finds a sandwich and an apple, he bites through the apple, edible and sweet and he brings the piece of fruit to Cody's mouth who instantly takes a bite out of it.

It's around ten minutes later when Ted and Randy wake up to see Cody biting the soft, edible apple from John's hand and jealousy seeps through Ted's body as he sees John feed _his_ Cody and as Ted looks back at Randy, compassion clogs Randy's eyes and Ted's heart feels like it's blocked from blood as Ted presses himself to the wall, right next to Randy and Randy looks through his duffel bag, throwing Ted a packet of chips.

It's around five minutes later and Ted's still staring at John feed Cody the other half of his sandwich and Ted's just jealous, seeing his Cody, scared to death of looking around and he's not there to hold and comfort him, to squeeze the terror right out of Cody's body and he's jealous seeing John feed his Cody and Ted's heart crushes all the more seeing John kiss Cody's forehead.

It's around two minutes later and Randy helps Cody lay between him and John and Ted's eyes are still on Cody and John and he wants to let the envy wash away but he finds it unfair because Ted's known Cody all his life and now that Cody's slipped away from his fingers, all he can do is wish that he's there instead of John while Ted knows that it's all his fault for letting Cody slip away from the first place.

It's around ten minutes later when Randy glances back at Ted who's looking at the train's seats but doesn't want to sit down and feels comfortable around them but he's just staring out at space, wanting only one thing and one thing only and Randy can feel Ted's body shiver from the coldness that's overtaking Ted's body and the fear and the guilt of letting Cody go still resides in Ted's body.

It doesn't take time for Ted's heart to break as he glances back at Cody and John.

__

**It's all seeping black.**

**Burning red.**

**Blood and black.**

_(Ted and Cody)_

__

It had been silent for more than two hours with just thinking and pondering and wondering filling their heads.

Ted had shot his head back at John who was stroking Cody's arms in compassion and care and all that Ted wanted to do was grimace in disgust because he knew that he should be touching Cody and not John of all people and as Ted stood up, walking over to John and then kneeling down to him, with his still battered face and dilapidated body, he sat down on the floor, hearing the smooth sound of the engine to where he sat.

John was the first to speak, with a thick voice of slightly concern. "What did Edge do to you these past few weeks?"

Ted's eyes laced with horror, tied with dread, entwined with fright as his closed mouth parted slightly. "He made me drink alcohol, too much so that when I'd fight in the ring, I'd be tough and vicious. Nothing more than just a few punches and the knife close to my throat…" he shuddered as the horror replayed in his head and he gritted his teeth.

"Are you okay now?" and seeing a nod from Ted's head made John smile even though Ted knew that he wasn't okay and that envy was still bubbling right through his body, burning quickly through the soft material of his red t-shirt and sinking through his veins and arteries, envy all around and as Cody moved slightly into John's hands, they heard a sound coming from under then.

From the sound of things, the train had gone through a huge rock or something but that was enough to set Cody's sensor off and he could remember it all—_the light shining bright in his face, the train racing towards his boy, the horror that seeped through, the pain as the quick object slowly came to his body and even though that he was pulled, the agony still lingered in Cody's body_—and Cody screamed at the horrifying memory that had rushed through his head. "No!"

John wrapped his arms around Cody's waist and pulled him closer to his body, so that Cody didn't hurt himself and rubbing onto Cody's back didn't seem to calm the petrified boy down as he looked around, almost waiting to be killed and Randy's face crumpled with shock and concern and anger.

"Cena, why is Cody afraid of trains?" he asked, and judging from John's eyes, he knew the answer better than anyone could and as John sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to get out of this one, still rubbing Cody's back to try and soothe him, he blinked once to stare at Randy's face, biting his lower lip in nervousness of what the boy can do but since Cody was on his lap, he guessed not much but it was the hate of hearing him scream that much because Cody will be more alert that way.

"Orton, DiBiase, there is something I didn't tell you before we got on this train." John bit his lower lip harder and he wondered what the two could've done, feeling Cody slightly ease on him. "I found Rhodes here on the rail at the train station and he was lying down on it and he looked like he was going to kill himself so I came towards him and pushed him off the rail but the train's tracks went through his stomach and shoulder so there was blood…so much blood…"

"What?" Randy asked and anger and shock stirred into his voice. "Cody, you wanted to kill yourself by throwing yourself on the rail? Are you crazy? Why, Cody, why?" the last sentence was so soft and when Randy looked back at Ted, he saw that Ted was so speechless that he couldn't let a word slip off his tongue.

Finally, Ted spoke up to John, "and you let him get into the train…?" his voice was soft and his lips were quivering and he thought that the only reason that they were all here was because of him and him only and as Ted touched Cody's face. "Why, Cody?"

Cody's eyes glistened and he looked like he was going to cry as his body trembled and his lips quivered and he could only look down. "I just did it, okay?" his voice was supposed to be confident and loud but came out soft and scared. He wanted to be able to love them but Dustin had restricted his ability to love them and he made him feel as if he had to hate them.

"Oh, Cody. Is it because of me?" Ted asked, as he held onto Cody's shoulder, feeling the cold skin and as his hand shook with his body, Ted's eyes were still on Cody and Cody only. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't because of you," Cody whispered. "It's all me. I just don't deserve to live anymore."

Ted's eyes widened and as he looked back to the same shocked expressions to Randy and John and as Ted touched Cody's face again, to feel the boy move at the cold touch. "No." Ted whispered under his breath. "I can't let this happen to you, Cody."

"_We_ can't let this happen to you," Randy and John corrected him in unison and the two exchanged looks before Randy shrugged their shoulders and John grinned. "Great minds think alike."

Randy flushed bright pink and it hid underneath his tan as he reached for Cody's face, touching his face to make the boy smile but Cody looked down and all he wanted was to scream. Dustin. It was all Dustin. He wanted to tell them that. He wanted to explain everything but he couldn't. He couldn't risk them being in Dustin's game too.

Edge looked at them from his shoulder, "sharing time over?" he asked.

Their blood boiled as they all shot a glare over at Edge who stood up and walked towards them. "You know," Edge started, leaning down towards them, staring at them with evil hard eyes, 'now that sharing time is over, I want to tell you that our deal has twists."

"Twists?!" Randy exclaimed, standing up. "I didn't agree to this, Edge!"

"Now that the game got more interesting, I must add a few for good measures," he looked down at Cody and Ted and John, all looking at him with disgust and repulsion and as Edge laughed darkly, he looked back at Randy. "I can kill any of them right now. Can you hurt me the same way I hurt Ted?"

Randy looked at him, "I'm tempted."

Edge took out a gun from his pocket and pointed it to Cody's face who looked motionless but Ted's anxiety multiplied because he knew that he can take a beating from Edge any day but he can't let Cody get hurt because of that jerk and as Edge stepped back to see Cody's face still blank and emotionless which made Edge take the gun to Randy and Cody's face instantly burned with emotions, horror, fear, agony and Edge laughed, throwing Randy to the floor.

John stared at Edge in anger for what Edge had done to Randy who was bleeding from his lip and as John looked back at Edge with a glare, Edge pointed the gun back to Randy. "Do we agree?"

Randy nodded his head. "Fine. Twist all you want. As long as you don't kill them, I don't care." His mouth was filled with blood and all he can smell was death and all he wanted to do was go home and then fear struck him even more when he realized that his wife and Alanna might be in danger as well but shrugged the thought off as Randy looked back at John, Ted and Cody.

Cody was already asleep, all curled up to John's chest and Randy went towards Ted, curling up beside his little friend and sleeping on the ground. Ted curled up close to Randy, feeling the warmth of Randy's skin during the freezing cold night and they all fell asleep, completely lost in the blackness.

__

**Black** burns in **black**.

Equality.

**Blood** burns in **black**.

You can't really **see** him.

(No one can see Ted)

**Blue** burns in black.

_(No one can see John)_

Do you think that this is the **reason** that John likes Cody?  
_(You can't see me)_

Because he makes him **invisible** to the world around him.

__

Cody woke up and found himself still in John's arms but so dizzy that he fell to the ground and now that he was on the ground and panting, he could feel and remember everything as it over washed him in a wave of quickness and pieces of his broken memories coming and coming towards him –

_Memories of you and me, I'm around one year old and you're around four years old and our parents are out and Dustin's in my arms and your eyes are laced with horror and the hot water runs and my screams fill the air._

"_You're crazy!" but your shouts aren't enough to shuffle my screams and his laughter combined, and Dustin's such an evil little boy, staring at me as I burn in his hands and you don't say another word and your eyes burn with tears of disbelief_

**(Hold me, Teddy. I don't want to be scared).**

"Oh God, Teddy…" –

_Memories of you and me, I'm around two years old and you're around five years old and our parents are out again and you're determined to never let go of me and you don't want him to hurt me ever again but he comes around, ripping my hair out and I fall onto your lap and you notice that I don't cry anymore._

**(He's made me emotionless.)**

Ted slowly woke up to the sound of panting and seeing that it was Cody, he raced towards the hurt boy and tried to help him up but as he noticed that Cody was shivering, he let go of his body. –

Memories of you and me, I'm around three years old and you're around six years old and we're hiding away at my room, afraid of Dustin, afraid of what he might do to us if we breathed wrong…

**(I don't think I'm breathing anymore, Teddy.)**

Cody tumbled down on Ted's body and soon, they were entangled in each other and Ted didn't move, feeling Cody move and shiver and shake from hurt that burned through him. –

_Memories of you and me, I'm around four years old and you're around seven years old and we got lost late at night and I'm scared out of my mind and I don't think I've ever seen you this scared._

**(I'm still so very scared.)**

Ted sat up slightly and cradled Cody into his arms, feeling him shiver with coldness and horror. "Shh…Cody, it's going to be okay." –

_Memories of you and me, I'm around five years old and you're around eight years old and we're both messed up right now and we don't really talk anymore and we just lay down and look at the ceiling, and it's all because of the horror that we're living through._

**(Horror movie on replay, over and over.)**

"Oh, Ted, I'm sorry…" the boy snuggled in Ted's chest, feeling complete together, like two pieces perfectly fit in a puzzle, and Ted watched as Cody shook and shivered with coldness and fear and the nightmares still hung in Cody's mind because the darkness was getting close. –

_Memories….I'm around six years old and you're around nine years old and I'm on the floor and bleeding and you're staring with wide eyes at the cuts around my body and I lie and you believe._

**(It's still that way now.)**

**It is really long if you'd look at it the same way I do.**

**;) It's more than two chapters together.**

**- Sam**


	13. Second Day On The Train: Delusional

**Another long one. LONGER than the first. :O And I'm getting so addicted I can't stop anyways.**

**Chapter 12  
Second Day On The Train: Delusions **

**_You gotta listen to my words_**

__

Explain.

Darkness.

In.

Light.

Is it **real**?

__

It's the sound of horror that laces through your head.

You lie down and it's around five in the morning and everyone else's asleep and Ted's back to sleep and Randy and John are still asleep so you're the only one awake and Edge's having his fun and the words are stirring through your head and all you can see are bits and pieces of your broken up past and you try to speak but you suddenly don't know how to and you're so drained out of your mind to talk and you're so very tired that you want to fall and die right now.

It's the sound of a scream that reels you to exist and it's the flashes of white and lightening and your heart speeds up ten times faster and your body's pores have sweat seeping out of them but you're still so very freezing cold and you're still shaking from coldness and iciness that you're coated with particles of ice and they're sinking inside of your thick skin.

You lie down and it's around five in the morning and the world's suddenly so black and the sound of the train's screeches makes your heart thud and shock with horrific lightening and deadly whispers and faces are bubbling through your head as you crawl away and your head hits the metal and you fall back and you're staring at the face and—

Randy.

The concern painted on his face as you said "it's Ted's fault".

John.

The horror that reeled through his face as he saved your life.

Edge.

The mischievous look on his face as his eyes glued to your face when he said what he wanted.

Ted.

The compassion in his face as he cradled you at night.

You were haunted.

__

_It's all your fault._

**(I know)**

_Don't try to hide it, Rhodes._

**(I won't)**

_You deserve this._

**(Let me die.)**

__

Ted's face turned somber and horrid when he had woken up.

_Blood running down his face…_

Cody tried to shake the scene out of his head but it was there, streaks and trails of blood from his forehead to his lips, dripping blood, horrid red blood, hot red and sticky, messing up his face and Cody pressed himself harder to the wall of the train and his eyes lit up with fear and panic and alarm.

_So much blood…_

"Cody?" Randy asked, stretching up from his sleep, noticing the hard fearful eyes of Cody Rhodes as the boy's bangs ran into his eyesight and the world just felt like turning around a million times and nausea was building up in his throat and stomach, twisting knots.

_Don't scream, Cody…_

John's eyes slowly opened as he looked around with half droopy half awake eyes and as he tried to register what the problem was, Randy interjected in his head and cut all of his thoughts in one moment. "Cody, you scared or something?"

_Don't scream…_

Cody was in his own little world, dizzy, nauseous, horrid nightmares that kept him awake last night, memories of his miserable life, of the twenty four years he put up with Dustin, and now, he didn't know his way to reality anymore, just the illusion and image in his head.

_Blood running down the train floor…so much blood…_

Cody couldn't handle it anymore. He screamed.

Randy's eyes widened and so did Ted's as Randy held the boy while he screamed, trying to calm him down but as Cody started to calm down, he put his head down onto Randy's lap, the nausea still rolling through his head and horror still through his head and his wide eyes were staring at seemingly nothing but his head was showing him bits and bits of black and blue, nightmares, so many nightmares, bruises, pulsing purple, pulsing pain—

_Trail of blood, running towards him…the scent…so strong…_

Cody stood up and he walked towards the train door and he looked at the door with need to get out, staring down at the delusional blood in his head and as Randy approached his boy, Cody looked away. "Oh, Cody, what's wrong?" Randy asked as Cody fell down onto the floor, staring at the ceiling again, too many flashes, too many colors, all zapping a cord in his brain.

Delusions.

Too many at once.

Blood. Blue. Lightening. Blood. Black. Dead roses. Snow. Graveyard. Flashes and bits of seemingly nothing as Cody bit his lower lip every time the trailing blood flashed through his mind and as Randy helped his boy up, looking back at a speechless John and Ted, he let Cody back to where he slept, and he leaned down towards him. Randy held two fingers up. "How many?"

"…Blood…" Cody's head bobbed here and there, stuck in his illusions, unable to see anything else.

Randy put a hand on Cody's forehead and looked back at John and Ted, "I think he has a fever."

"Fever? Oh because so many people with fevers are delusional," John rolled his eyes, leaning towards Randy and Cody; to look at his eyes and looked back at Randy. "I think it's much deeper than that. What if he's really sick?"

"He can't be that sick," Randy explained. "He's been around with you. I'm sure that you'd notice if he's suddenly imagining a horror movie out of nowhere."

"Maybe it's been happening for a while but now that he's on a train, something he's really afraid of, he's showing it?" John asked, holding onto Cody's shoulder, kissing his forehead and making the standing disbelieving Ted cringe. "Or maybe it's because he's on a train?"

"We should get him off the train then," Randy said, determined.

"Hello, we can't. Edge will definitely point the gun or something," John responded and stroked Cody's hair. "Best we can do is wait until they stop or something. He can wait five days."

"But what if he gets worse?" Randy asked him, pitching the possible idea towards John.

John looked thoughtful for a moment, "then let Edge point the gun to me. You guys run to the hospital."

Ted was speechless through all of this. He was convinced that this was all his fault. He'd been with Cody forever and if there was something wrong with him, he'd tell him and Ted knew that. But if it was something about him, Cody would've never spoken up and it really was him, was it? What he'd messed up this time? Enough to do this to him?

He dropped to the floor, on the opposite side of the train, staring as John and Randy pitched ideas, feeling as if he can't really do anything and there was a condensing feeling at the pit of his stomach telling him that it was wrong to just watch but he didn't know what else to do and it was almost as if he was silenced, as he watched the emotions on Cody's face and he'd never seen him this scared since he was a child. Back then, Dustin was horrible but after sixteen, it all just went well now that Cody was old enough to be respected.

Randy shook his head at Randy after a while. "You wouldn't really risk your life for Cody's, would you?"

John was staring at Cody, kissing the boy's lips softly and quickly, before shaking his head. "I swear I would if it came to that. Besides, I can't break the Legacy boys, can I?"

"You're not so bad, Cena," Randy looked back at Ted and began to feel concern now that Ted was looking a lot like Cody, but he was staring at Cody, lost in his own little world, and he didn't want to interrupt as he looked back at John's face and closed his eyes. "I just hope…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Orton," John interjected through his sentence before he could finish it and gave a simple smile before returning to the now sleeping Cody, rubbing the nape of his neck and then looking back at Ted who was staring down at the floor. "You okay, DiBiase?"

"Yeah, fine," Ted replied, falling in and out of the little piece of blackness at the back of his head where he could create anything and just anything. "Just fine."

That afternoon as Randy played cards with John and Ted sketched, Cody was still asleep but now that he was in the middle of his sleep, his nightmares and dreams were collided with his memories and he was left with nightmare of memories that were always the bad times and he didn't know how he could get the bits and pieces of his and Ted's lives away from his head.

_Memories of you and me, I'm seven years old and you're ten years old and you start looking at me funny, like I'm just not Cody and I don't want you to leave because you're the only thing that makes my life a little easier._

**(Don't go.)**

Cody let out a moan which distracted John and Randy from their game before Randy played, smirking at John who played and made Randy's smile disappear. "Man, you're good at this," Randy didn't like admitting it but it was the truth.

"Just this?" John asked.

Randy thought for a moment, "that and sacrificing your life."

The sentence earned a playful smack at Randy's back from John as he looked back at his hand and they returned to their game.

_Memories of you and me, I'm eight years old and you're eleven years old and you fall asleep right next to me every night you spend here and the way you hold me when you're asleep and even if you don't know, it still feels odd and I don't know what to do._

**(Your breath on my face scares me.)**

Another groan escaped Cody's mouth but this time, Randy and John didn't stop their game if they knew he was still asleep and as Ted's eyes darted from his sketch of the sleeping boy, he let the red color smear and slip from his hand when he heard another moan escaping Cody's mouth and he crawled towards the boy, running his hand through his hair.

Ted's breath was on Cody's face and he was so close that he made Cody shift uncomfortably and when Ted noticed so, he stepped slightly back to let Cody breathe properly.

_Memories of you and me, I'm nine years old and you're twelve years old and when you stare at me, it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable having your eyes all over me and your whispers scare me to death but I don't mention it to you at all._

**(I think you can see my fear.)**

Cody's body turned rigid and his face tightened and he tensed up as Ted sat right beside him so that he wasn't too close yet not too far away to see Cody's reactions as he grunted. Ted put a hand through his shoulder as another grunt escaped his throat.

_Memories of you and me, I'm ten years old and you're thirteen years old and you ask me "what's wrong?" and I'm afraid to tell you but the words are slipping out of my throat and a weak "I'm scared of you, Ted" comes out of my mouth and it plasters your face in pain and you start to walk away, feeling unneeded and unwanted and that's when my eyes really open and I don't want you to leave._

_"Ted, wait!"_

_"Don't go!"_

_"TEDDY, PLEASE!"_

**(You don't listen. I deserve it.)**

"Ted," Cody let out as a suppressed moan, and Ted leaned towards the boy, stroking the back of his hair so that he'd calm down. He seemed relaxed for a moment but then, his soft whisper turned into a scream of agony. "Teddy! No!"

_Memories of you and me, I'm eleven years old and you're fourteen years old and you meet up again and his eyes are cold and expressionless and yours are sorrowful and you walk towards him but he starts walking away and you know that you've done so much wrong by telling him that._

That made Ted grip onto Cody's arms and it alerted both John and Randy from their game, their cards dropping from their hands as Ted gripped onto Cody's arms so very tightly to try into an attempt to wake him up. "TED, PLEASE!"

**(He's leaving you to choke on your own blood.)**

Ted feared the most and started shaking Cody harshly so that the boy would wake up and in the middle of it, Cody's head hit the metal and his eyes fluttered open to Ted and his eyes filled with horror as he saw the concern and worry and alarm on his face and Cody looked down, suddenly ashamed that Ted had to shake him awake but still so very dizzy and nauseous. "I'm sorry, Ted…"

John's eyes were filled with alert and the moment that Ted hit Cody on the hard metal, John was exploding with rage as he glared at Ted. "Hey!" he exclaimed to Ted, making the boy almost cringe back in alarm but Ted was already so very alert and he shot his head towards John Cena in confusion to what he might want. "He's not some sort of doll to shake him like that!"

"He's—"Ted was about to say 'he's fine' before Cody threw up, hard and harsh, onto the floor, so violently and as acid welled up in his throat, Ted pushed the boy back towards the wall, pressing him to it so that Cody could try and breathe good enough and as John's eyes hardened even more with fury, "I was wrong, okay? But what did you want me to do? To have him shout my name loud enough for the other side of China to hear?"

"Why was he screaming your name?" Randy asked, suddenly interjecting in the conversation and as Ted noticed that, he knew it was because this really was all his fault and he was out of Cody's life when Cody had needed him the most. Some friend he was.

Ted crawled back to the opposite wall and he pressed himself to it and grabbed onto his sketch again, seeing the smear go right through Cody's chest and he tore the picture out of his sketch and started to shred it to pieces and he let the pain rip him because he deserved it and his thoughts were all on Cody as he watched the boy join in the game, almost unable to think but he still played anyways even though he had just woken up from bed and wasn't refreshed enough.

Ted looked back at the torn shreds and he picked up his sketch again, drawing himself, from what he saw, head to toe, this horrible person—who wanted his best friend dead—and he threw it on the floor before curling up to a ball and looking at the floor, the shreds on the floor was like Ted's heart break, pieces and pieces, blood and blurred lines.

It was about two o'clock when Cody had slipped into sleep again and as Ted stared at his sketch of himself, he was convinced that that was really him and as Ted's eyes darted towards Edge as the blonde Canadian stood up and walked towards them, keeping a smirk on his face, "I want you, DiBiase, to make out with Cena."

Ted stared at John and John stared back and they both shook their heads at once but Randy sighed. "You guys! We agreed on this, didn't we? Edge will only make this harder on us. Besides, it's one kiss. You can both close your eyes and pretend it's someone else or something!" Randy tried to encourage them.

"And none of that quick stuff. I want this to be 'passionate'," Edge said between air quotes.

Ted inched forward to John and John crawled towards Ted so that they were in the center of the train and Ted and John both closed their eyes as their lips met and they kissed. Edge went through his pocket and dropped his phone at Cody's head so that the tired Legacy boy would wake up and as his eyes slowly opened to absorb the scene in front of him, his eyes filled with betrayal and rage.

"John!" Cody exclaimed. "I thought we were together!"

John instantly broke off and Edge snickered under his breath, walking back to his seat now he had a bit of drama to watch. John crawled over to Cody, touching his face. "Cody, you listen to me. You know that I won't hurt you and it's just one of Edge's 'twists'."

"I don't believe you, John!" Cody exclaimed, rage in his voice and his eyes turned into two hard solids. "After all I did for you."

"What would that be?" John asked, slightly puzzled and confused.

Cody took a deep breath, hating this part right here, when he'd scream at him like this and he closed his eyes as he shouted his words. "When I kissed you, I didn't really mean that I liked you! I just wanted to know if you're dumb enough to think that I'd like someone like you!"

John's eyes almost rolled back to his head. "But…" his voice was soft but as the anger filled him, his pain was plastered by the rage that was burning him whole. "Fine! See if I care!"

Cody looked down and closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep but he couldn't. He just looked down as the others all went to sleep. If he kept this up, he'd lose everyone he loved and he didn't know how to get out of this hole but he knew that Dustin had changed him in ways that he never really expected. Cody was scared of him, intimated, his puppet and slave and Dustin was stronger, ready to pounce on him every chance he got.

__

Cody pressed the phone to his ear to hear Dustin's horrid voice fill him with horror as he stared at the sleeping boys and his body was shaking and he knew that they wouldn't wake up and everyone was asleep and there were no words that could get out of his mouth as he heard Dustin's words and they slowly registered in Cody's brain.

"You told Cena off? Just like I told you?"

Cody's voice was dry but he nodded his head and said a soft "yes".

"I want you to listen to my instructions and listen to them carefully..."

The last few words were a horror story for Cody as he went to the back of the train and opened the fuse of it, staring at the multicolored wires and he wanted to cry or scream but he remained silent as he listened to Dustin and started playing around with the red, blue, yellow and black wires with difficulty, fearing and fearing the unmoving train will explode or something and his heart raced in his chest and he knew if he said no, Dustin will find a way for him to say yes and he remembered those horrid memories where he used to wrench Ted's neck so that Cody would do what he said and he was afraid Dustin would hurt Randy or John or Ted or all of them both.

Cody just knew one thing for sure.

He was everyone else's puppet.

And everyone was playing the strings.

__

**I hope it's still interesting.**

**:) Sam**


	14. Third Day On The Train: Wrist Cutters

**Okay, I'm too addicted to it.**

**So very addicted…:)**

**Chapter 13**

**Third Day On The Train: Wrist Cutters**

_**Yeah-h**_

__

Your flesh **sparkles**.

In the dim **black**.

So **perfect**.

In this piece of **darkness**.

You've **found** yourself too.

Soon, the **black** **viruses** will get to you.

**Tear** you.

**Break** you.

**Burn** you.

How **pretty** would a **corpse** look like?

__

**Cody's POV**

That morning, John looks through the backpack for food and I look down at me, afraid of what I've done last night, wanting just to erase what I've done, erase the memories, erase _myself_… John throws a wrapped sandwich towards me, and his eyes are begging for forgiveness and his face is rigid and I look down and unwrap the sandwich to eat, but after two to three bites, I wrap it back up and slink down from the wall.

My life's so out of control.

I want to die.

I want to scream.

I don't want them to notice. I'm as dead as a corpse and I feel so very broken and cut that the pieces of myself is digging inside of my heart and the blood's so much and so very much that I'm suffocating inside of my own blood and I want to run away and the train—breathing it in, being in it, it's just like seeing a horror movie, over and over.

I want to go home.

I have no home.

I look up to see my legs on Ted and I sit up clearly, feeling the sticky sweaty skin of his body stick to me, I walk over to him and look at him clearly in the face and I don't know how I could ever like him as I crawl over to Randy, snuggling inside of his chest, rubbing his face on his chest for comfort.

Randy's fingers run through my hair.

He wants to help me.

But he can't.

No one can.

I hear John and Ted argue.

"You inched forward!"

"You kissed me!"

Randy sighs. "Would you both shut up? Cody's clearly in pain and I don't want to hear you bitching out about nothing!"

He's right.

I can't keep anyone I love.

I can't love anyone.

Because Dustin will just make me hate them all.

I don't want to be in his game anymore.

"Ted, I just can't believe you'd do this…" I whisper into Randy's chest and his hands squeeze onto me, hard and harsh, running his fingers through my hair, breathing on my ear, hot and sweet.

"Shut the hell up, Cody!"

That just shocks me.

I jump from Randy's chest and look at Ted's face to see the annoyance and the shock's so overwhelming that I breathe in and out and pant and sweat and my head's spinning and spiraling and my mouth's bitten and—and—I'm just so very shocked.

Ted…?

He promised he'd never hurt me.

Ted…?

_My Teddy bear_? I shook the thought of my head and bit my lower lip, tattered and torn, feeling it swell and my body's just burning up with disbelief as Ted continues to shout at my face.

"I'm tired of you!"

"You don't mean that…" Randy starts, trying to shake the appalled look off his face but he can't and it shows and I can't either and my heart's hammering in my chest and my head's exploding and—and—Ted…?

"I do! My life's turned upside down just because he tried to kill himself. Why should it be my problem?! Why did this happen?" Ted shouts at me, and acid burns into my throat and my heart's cracked into nothing, blood and blood, running around and my body's thick with the sweat's that's collecting.

I bang my head in the wall from the realization that he's right and that I am the reason to ruin Ted's life and Randy's and John's and I should just be alone and I should really be dead by now and they should get out of here so I can just be dead on the floor.

"Cody, stop that!" Randy exclaims.

I just bang my head so hard that I fall into the blackness…

__

You feel **worthless**.

Like nobody will **hurt** you.

Like nobody will **love** you.

**Ever**.

And you feel so very **worthless**.

**Crying** on the inside.

**Dying** on the inside.

**Ever**.

__

**Ted's POV**

I knew the words I said were harsh but I didn't think it would go through to him. He looked so tired and so angry that I didn't think that anything could break him but my words—he broke us into nothing and nothing at all and my head pounded and my heart burst into the fire that was burning up inside of my body.

Burning.

I was burning.

Seeing Cody banging his head to the wall, seeing him want to bleed his heart out, I hated myself for what I'd said.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" John spat out.

"You scared the hell out of him!" Randy backed him up.

I was sick and tired of everyone picking Cody's side and I was just tired of trying to be nice to him when all he did was break me and I was just tired of letting him play me into this stupid game of his and I just wanted to punch his guts out for all of this. We were in here because of him.

And at the same time, I wanted him. I envied John for having to kiss him. At the same time, a part of me just wanted to kiss him, hold him, love him—it was horrid and confusing and I was confusing.

I couldn't understand myself.

I couldn't understand who I was.

Or what I was.

"Because…"

That bad part of me just got me.

"…I hate him."

Cody just banged his head so hard that he blacked out and the blood…running from the back of his head…

Bitterness burned in my throat.

"Oh, Cody…"

"Oh, _you_ shut the hell up, Ted, because you break everything you touch," Randy spat out and as I simply nodded my head and my eyes were on the blacked out Cody, with blood running down his towards his face, the blood going into his mouth and his body was rigid and motionless.

That was because of me.

I broke him too hard.

__

Life.

**Breaks**.

Love.

Doesn't work with you.

**Horror**.

**Fills** you up.

**Death**.

Will **follow** you.

And you'll **die**.

__

**John's POV**

I see as Ted tries to walk over to Cody.

I'm over the edge with rage and anger and knowing that he's the one who did this to him and I know that Cody's just hurt himself because of that jerk as I stare at him coldly before I had taken Cody's body and cradled him close to me, and the blood's rushing down his face and shoulders and I kiss his mouth, feeling the blood stick to me, feeling his sharp breath.

"Just don't get any closer, DiBiase," I run my fingers through his hair, feeling its brittleness and slightly his hair falls down and holding onto his head, feeling his motionless body.

It's just sick.

Slowly, he opens his eyes and he looks so tired that I feel like crying out for the little boy and I try to kiss him but he moans away. "Please," he whispers softly, "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

"Oh, Cody," I touch his face.

__

_(you're lovely)_

The **voices** try to tell you that you look nice.

_(you can't break)_

You want to **wear** that mask.

But your eyes say what you truly **feel**.

_(you're broken)_

Oh so very **broken**.

_(no one will ever love you.)_

If you can't take care of **yourself**

How can you take care of those you **love**?

__

**Randy's POV**

Edge walked to me, holding onto my arm and looked at me in the eyes and his smirking eyes told gave a painful twist in the pit of my stomach as Edge's body stiffened and his eyes were on Cody and on Ted and his smirk widened, wide with gleefulness.

"Oh, Cody, oh Ted, guess what's your challenge?"

Horror reeled through me. Fear ruptured through me. Anxiety fractured violently right through my body and broke everything. What can he do to them? Would it hurt him?

I—Ted…

Cody…

They looked up at them, horrid, horrible eyed, scared, my boys were terrified and I didn't know what to do to comfort them as Edge spoke out. "I want Rhodes to cut DiBiase's wrists."

The fear multiplied. I was ready to choke.

My Teddy's wrists slit by my Cody? I stared but John's hand was on my shoulder and Edge was bringing the gun and smirking at once, holding the gun towards Cody's body and the panic just attacked me as I reached out for them but John knew that Edge would do it so he wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me close to his body, our bodies collided and my eyes were on them.

Edge threw Cody a knife.

Cody tried to get up but he was just so tired.

"Cut DiBiase's wrists."

Cody's eyes turned wide and he whipped his head towards me but all I can do was nod my head because I didn't want Edge to hurt them, to kill them, burn them on the inside—

They shouldn't suffer.

They were too young. Too hurt. Too brittle. Too fragile.

It hurt to watch.

__

You look so **tattered**

**Dead**.

_(Did anyone notice that you're not alive?)_

__

**Cody's POV**

My hands are shaking and my body trembles and my head's pounding and spinning and the knife is still in my hands and I don't want to do this. And I could just see myself as a person that breaks and hurts people and I just know I should've have liked him, then Edge wouldn't have turned me against him.

"_Cut DiBiase's wrists."_

It just haunts me.

I hold onto one of Ted's wrists and I put the knife close to his wrist and he stares at me, like he deserves it.

"Told it, Cody. You should do it…"

_Memories of you and me, I'm around twelve years old and you're around fifteen and you say that you won't let anything happen to me if it kills you and it scares me to know how protective you are of me._

**(Scares me.)**

I slowly start to move the knife, digging softly into the flesh and just at the hint of blood, my head pounds harder and my heart bursts faster and I just want to die other than see this.

I don't want to see his blood.

I don't want to remember myself as the one that did this to him. That cut his own best friend's wrist.

_Memories of you and me, I'm around thirteen years old and you're around sixteen years old and I tell you that Dustin doesn't do anything to me anymore but the nightmares still reside so you hold onto my shoulders and brings me close and now, being so close to him just makes sick thinking that he'll hurt me._

**(They always hurt me.)**

I feel the tears sting but they don't fall. I want to die. My hands are shaking and I don't think I can do it and I look at John's face who's just pale and rigid and Randy's is pained and hurt.

I know I should've resisted.

I should've.

I want to.

"Go deeper, Cody."

Ted's voice, Ted's urge, to be killed. It just makes my head spin so hard that the knife just flows out of my hand and the blood that's slowly thickly sickly running from his wrist—it just hurts me.

"Oh, Rhodes, go deep and do the other wrist!" Edge calls out.

I just don't know how to comprehend the thought. I could kill Ted with this knife. I could hurt him. And as I pick the knife, see the blood slowly drip from the tip, I lick my lips and I could taste his blood at my lips and I look back at Ted…hurt, pale, hurt dead inside… the Ted that used to hold me when I slept, the Ted that comforted me when I was insomniac, the Ted I used to gossip with…_my_ Ted…

It just hurts.

_Memories of you and me, I'm around fourteen years old and you're around seventeen years old and you tell me that you love me, then you take it back and crash my heart twice._

**(No one will ever like me.)**

As the memory over washes me, I just want to say one thing…

I want to tell him that I love him…I love him so very much that it hurts…

But I can't.

Because I've just gave in to Edge's need. He can't love me after this. He can't even like me after this. He should just kill me after this. I'd understand if he throws the knife inside of me.

I deserve it.

For the people I've broken.

John. Ted. Randy. My father for not telling him what was wrong with me when he needed to know the most.

I deserve to bleed.

__

You're so **broken**.

Simply **broken**.

And you pay the **price**.

For being **priceless**.

__

**Ted's POV**

The blood.

The flesh.

The pain.

It just hurt seeing all this happening and I knew that Edge was just a sadistic bastard and from Cody's eyes, I knew that he didn't want to do it. After he tried to slit one of my wrists, and after he picked up the knife, I put my hand out again so he can go deeper.

I deserved all of this for how I've hurt my Cody, for how I let him fall asleep without his teddy bear by his side.

He put the knife close to my wrist but then backed the knife away.

"I can't do this." He said in this softest voice ever.

"Nobody's wrists are slit," Edge sang in his bitter voice.

"No, you're wrong," Cody responded, taking the knife and ripping his own wrists out, so fast and so professionally, the blood dropped and his eyes were blurring with pain and horror and I watched as he fell onto my lap and I could see that his head was spinning and he was so very hurt.

I held his shoulder as he slept in my lap, clutching at my red t-shirt, and holding onto me, for I felt like I was the handful of hope for him in this world and as Edge nodded his head and walked back to his position, John and Randy raced towards me in shock.

"I just can't believe he'd do this," John said, running his fingers through his brittle hair. "He'd already hurt himself so many times."

"I should've been the one like this. But not Cody, never Cody," I almost whispered and John and Randy exchanged looks and they both had the same expression on their faces as they shook their heads.

"Don't you ever say that, Ted," even John cared for my safety.

I finally knew how it felt like to want suicide and it scared me. Knowing about what I could do to myself. Knowing that one time, I'd slit my own wrists so willingly, just out of fun. Knowing that I might actually burn myself alive just because of the horror that burned inside of me now.

Cody buried his face into my chest.

I knew that all he truly wanted was to be safe and I wanted to be safe too. But we were thrown into this dangerous game, and as he wrapped his arms around my neck and I knew that it was only for comfort and that he was so asleep that he didn't know what he was doing.

I made myself lay on the ground as he gripped tight around my neck. John and Randy were asleep. Randy's body over John's lap and I guessed this was just like that. Friendship comfort when we were asleep.

But feeling his breath on my face…

Hearing his heart flutter in his chest, so close to me…

I knew that was more than just friendship.

And I ruined it when I told the fourteen year old Cody that I loved him and I was seventeen and he was so shocked and appalled that I took it back and I tried to crush the thought of us being together since then.

I didn't want to hurt Cody.

Even if I had to hurt myself to protect him.

**This was long…I just did this one today.**

**VERY long chapter...I wonder if I'll do anything this long again.**

**Ooh, long reviews, too? :P  
**

**;) Sam**


	15. Fourth Day On The Train: Confessions

**I know I haven't updated. But I've got more than ten fics going at once. Serves me right. I have a new idea too. I just started a new one and I know that I can't get my hands off it already.**

**Chapter 14  
Fourth Day On The Train: Confessions**

_**Heirs of a cold war**_

__

Fairy tales aren't **real**.  
And you feel like a **child**.  
Wishing that they were.  
You want a **happy** ending.  
But you feel as if this will turn **tragic**.

__

**Randy's POV**

I was only thinking of Edge's new challenge.

It was horrid and disgusting. It made me want to throw up and it made me want to think of how twisted this entire world can be and he wanted to control everything and he wanted to control my head and he wanted to control who I can love and hate and he'd turned Ted and Cody against each other. He turned me and John against each other and all I wanted to do was punch him in the face and I wanted to be able to love whoever I wanted to love and I wanted to be able to hate whoever I wanted to hate but I couldn't and we all knew it so very well as Cody snuggled into John's arms and Ted slept on my lap.

This was all going out of control.

I didn't know how to stop it.

I wanted to stop it so very much.

Cody was getting more and more scared and all he wanted was to feel good about himself and the entire world around him was shattered and he just went along with it and he didn't want to complain and I found myself, trying not to complain myself. I held onto Ted's body and he looked up at me, "you're holding me too tight, Ran."

"Oh sorry," it was the condensing want in his eyes that made me speak up. "What's wrong, Ted?"

"It's Cody."

It was obvious.

"I just…It's like I can never really understand him. He's just changed so much. It was just yesterday that him and I started a tag team and today, he was cutting himself and bleeding for me. I just wondered—have I changed? Will this happen to me?"

I was horror struck. Why would Ted think so very negatively?

Ted was optimistic. 'Was' was the word to fit this situation. He could only see evil now and to think about it, it was all so very clear that he thought of evil more and more each and every day and this experience was shattering all of us in ways that we couldn't freaking imagine. We needed to escape. Someway. I didn't want us all to be broken in the course of a week.

We needed to be strong.

I needed to be strong for Alanna and Sam.

I needed to be strong for Cody and Ted and John even.

It was always like that. It should be like that. Forever and always.

I let Ted go around through John's bag and eat whatever food was in there but there wasn't much left so I let them all dig through my junk, finding a packet of chips, he laid back and starting eating them, offering me one or two every bite or so, and the worst part was the look he had – he was staring so very heartbrokenly at Cody and I knew his thoughts, his memories of him and Cody, they were just too much for the boy to handle and I could see it right through his eyes.

Cody and Ted have been best friends for as long as anyone could remember.

I knew how it felt like to have your heart ripped out of your chest but it was the happy memories flooding through your head that made everything worse.

In Ted's case, he was just dying on the inside.

Too many happy bloody memories to choke upon.

__

**Horror** rakes me.  
**All** through me.  
I want to **love**.  
I want to **hate**.  
I don't want to be anyone's **puppet**.  
Not like Cody.  
Not **anymore**.

__

**Ted's POV**

I need to escape.

Remembering how many times I spend, holding onto every little piece of Cody's hair, breathing in the scent, remembering how many times I slept right next to hold just to hear him scream at the sudden shock of a nightmare and that just makes me want to be closer to my Cody and that just makes me feel even more and more empty inside knowing that Cody's all so broken on the inside.

Is it because of me?

Did I do something this wrong?

He's suddenly just become suicidal.

I want to save him.

I need to save him. From suddenly just killing himself. Seeing his eyes, I know what he feels like.

Alone.

Scared.

Shattered.

Just like me.

We're all just like me.

_Cody,  
I'm so sorry for all the times  
I've tried to bring you closer  
When I pushed you away  
I'm so sorry for breaking you  
Making your heart bleed  
All too much  
I'm so sorry that I can't take care of you  
But I don't think I can take care of myself…_

I want Cody to hold onto me, hold onto the hope, I want to fly off to this place in the back of my head where everything's okay and I just want to touch the sky because I need the freaking hope and I need it all. I need it. I need Cody. I need hope.

I don't have anything anymore.

_**What you going to do, Mr. Simply Alone?**_

__

It's all **thoughts**.  
Of **scattered** dreams.  
And **broken** love.

__

**John's POV**

I held onto Cody's body.

I thought this was all crazy. This truly was all too crazy. Edge was trying to control our own thoughts and we had no choice over who we loved and who we hated and as my fingers ran through Cody's hair, the boy was holding onto me, holding onto someone who was suffocating on the inside.

That was rich.

Edge stood up, annoying at the driver, "would you go just a little bit faster? I need food!" Edge exclaimed and I simply shot an annoyed look at him and the driver went faster but too fast that Cody and I were slipped. "GO SLOWER!"

So fast that I could hear the air rush to my head as we all went to the back of the train and we were all clumped up into one big mess and suddenly, Cody was bleeding from his wrists again to the force of the metal against his skin and we were all screaming for it to go slower when the driver himself was slipping out of reach and we were so damn fast that I couldn't breathe.

This was like an action movie. I let my arm go to a seat and pushed myself up and by that time, they were all bleeding from metal contacting their skin or from slamming to the back of the train too hard when they were trying to step up and I found myself trying to get to the controls.

When I reached, I took the keys out so that the train stopped and we were all panting heavily.

"You messed with the wires?" the driver asked, looking at the wires from behind and shaking his head.

I walked back down and leaned down to a shaking Cody as blood spewed out of his wrists and I kissed his forehead. Ted stepped closer to Cody and me and Randy did, too and we were looking at Cody's wrists as the blood heavily rushed down onto his jeans and I was holding onto his shoulder, "we need a bandage."

He was bleeding too much.

He was losing too much blood.

Ted rushed to his bag and pulled out a few huge bandages, running it along Cody's wrists until they were covered but they instantly turned red at the force of blood that was running out of his cut and I held Cody into my hands, running my fingers through his hair, hoping that we were safe for now.

__

It's all **thoughts**.  
Of **haunting** nightmares.  
And **returned** hate.

__

**Cody's POV**

I'm guilty.

Just too guilty.

"I messed with the wires," I explain and I could feel the heaviness at the tip of my tongue and all I want to do is cry and I don't want them to look at me as the one who wants them all dead but all I could do is try to keep my breath.

"Why?" they all ask, gasping and wondering.

"You will pay for this, Rhodes," Edge snaps.

I don't care what Edge does to me anymore. I just want to go home and get beat up and die. I just want to leave this Earth because there's nothing for me here. Why should I suffer and make the others around me suffer as well? I don't want this. I seriously don't want this at all.

"I…" I try to explain but I can't.

Ted holds onto my shoulders and the long in his eyes tells me that he's not going to hurt me as he pushes me into his arms again and runs his hand through my hair, "oh, Cody, why do you keep trying to kill yourself? Are we making you unhappy? What's wrong?"

Edge smacks him at the back of his head, "you hate Rhodes, DiBiase." He reminds us all and I can only stare into those eyes, melting into his gaze before he nods his head, giving into Edge's game. "Now, hit him."

I could feel him tense as he slaps me hard and I look at him, in disbelief, "oh, I'm sorry, Cody…" he knows that he'll make this worse for both of us but it still hurts, having him do this to me. It makes me feel like he hates me.

"You're not," I snap. "You like this. You have to like this…"

"Oh, Cody, no, I don't!" he exclaims.

__

It's all **too** much.  
To **grasp** and handle on.  
__

**And I finally updated.**

**;) Sam**


	16. Fifth Day On The Train: Bleed

**I said I'd update. So here's your update! :) **

**Chapter 15  
****Fifth Day On The Train: Bleed**

**_That's what we've become_**

__

_I've never seen so much blood in my life._  
**(Just get used to it)**  
_I can't._  
**(You're weak, aren't you?)**  
_Just leave me the hell alone._

__

Randy leaned down towards Ted, running his fingers down the tired boy's hair and as he looked back at John and Cody, playing around with cards, but glancing at them every few moments, and he could see the want in Cody's eyes behind the fear that exploded in them and he could see John's bitterness pooled around the need that was burning inside of his broken eyes.

Randy can see the entire story planned out in his head.

Randy…he himself he knew who he was…he was a mixture of John and Ted, need and persistence. He needed it and he'd work hard to have it and obtain it. And if he didn't have it, he kept telling himself that he will have it. The rest of the world went on even if he didn't have what he wanted.

John needed to be needed…that was the end of his story. He could never live alone. He could never die alone. He needed a person to need him in life, he needed a person to need to hold him, he needed a person to need to love him, and he needed a person to need to him to shun the pain.

Cody was a puppet. People used him like he had strings, they knew how to get to his weaknesses, they knew what it took to make him break and he'd been broken so many times that he'd lost count and he didn't think that he can take so much pain burning in one person.

Ted…Ted was different.

Ted wanted. Thrived. Needed. Ted was a masochist. If he couldn't get what he wanted, he'd kill himself to get it, and whatever he wanted, he'd feel like he needed it and he'd throw away his entire life for it.

That was why Randy was afraid.

What happened if Ted figured it all out?

What would he do to himself?

__

Randy Orton was a wrestler.  
He knew how to **fight**.  
But **nothing** can prepare him for this **fight**.  
**Not** training.  
**Nothing**.  
How can you fight for **others**  
when you can't fight for **yourself**?

__

Edge steps towards the center of the train.

Edge wrenches John's face upwards so that they're face to face. "Let go of Rhodes," John grits his teeth as he lets go of Cody's body, a dizzy Cody presses himself to the train's wall and John stares at him as Edge lifts his chin so that they're face to face and Edge presses his lips to John's neck, making John push him off.

"What? You don't like me? You like that little piece of trash more than me?" Edge trails his fingers through Cody's face, making Cody press himself harder to the wall, feeling the sweat cling to his shirt so very furiously and John grabs onto Edge's shirt and throws him to the floor, standing up and snarling at him. "Protective, aren't we, Cena?"

"Leave him alone, okay? I don't like you touching him!" John snaps, making Cody shut his eyes tight and flicker them open only to meet the faces of a shocked Randy and a still asleep Ted.

"Oh, you don't like me touching him, do you?" Edge's sweet soft voice burns into the air and through John's heart, thick and dangerous acid, and all that he can is stare at him as Edge grabs onto the collar of Randy's shirt and throws him towards Cody and as Randy's body hits Cody's stomach, a knife through thick flesh, and Cody, still dazed, still nauseated, still dizzy, at Randy's eyes and he feels as if everything's hazy and misty and cloudy and foggy and he can't see anything clear and lucid and understandable.

John clutches his fists together, perfectly balled, his anger blazing in his eyes and he wants to punch Edge but he'd make him do the worst and Edge grabs onto the sleeping Ted's shirt before throwing him towards John and John falls down onto the floor on top of Randy, all squishing Cody but no complaint rises from Cody's mouth as pain overtakes his eyes and Ted's eyes flutter open at the sudden feel of hot skin against his cold skin.

"Orton," Edge snaps. "Stand up."

Randy pushes Ted and John of off him and stands up, looking back at the hurt little boy underneath him and then leans down towards him.

"Orton, since you can't get your hands off Rhodes…" he pulls out a tattoo needle from his pocket, thick, metal, and he throws it on the floor.

"You want me to give Cody a tattoo?" Randy asks him before he takes the needle and looks at it, looks at how sharp the thick point is and then back at Edge who shakes and nods his head at once.

"Follow my instructions." Edge snaps.

Randy simply nods his head as he stares at Cody's eyes, those blue eyes that are burning into pain and those blue eyes are plastered and condensing pain and those blue eyes that are deepening and falling darker into the black hole that's inside of him and he can't get out and Randy just doesn't want to mark him with this thick needle, to make him burn inside in pain, to paralyze his insides—he doesn't want this…

"Rhodes, your arm."

Cody throws his arm towards Randy, so lifelessly, so unafraid, so controlled and it freaks Randy out as he brings the needle close to his skin, only inches away and it still hurts him, stabs him, without him even doing anything and all Randy wants to do is stop himself from trying to do this as Randy looks up at Cody, feeling the stab in his heart deepening, bleeding even more.

"What are you waiting for? Stab him."

Randy's eyes are looking at Ted, wide eyed and biting his lower lip, scared, and he doesn't want to push him over the edge and then his eyes to John, who's staring at him, blank expression when all the emotions inside of him are threatening to explode and Randy closes his eyes, shut tight, and stabs him, deep into his arm, the needle pushing through the thick skin of his and Cody moves slightly at the sudden surge of metal through his skin.

"Move it."

Randy's eyes are still shut tight as he moves up so that he can't hurt his wrists anymore and as he opens his eyes to see how deep it is, he jumps up, pulling the needle out, letting bits and bits of blood staining the train floor and Randy stares at the needle, stares at the bits of blood and his eyes twitch as he lets it fall to the floor.

Edge lets out a horrid laugh, "You're not done here, Ran."

"I—I can't do it!" Randy exclaims, almost feeling the tears sting his eyes and he stares back at Cody, seeing how vulnerable he is, how his eyes just trap pain all over, pushing out, exploding and horrid agony that's pulsing him, veins are choking, arteries are suffocating, and they're all pushed into nothing but blood and tears and sweat clinging around. "I can't do it."

Edge holds onto Randy's shirt and throws him back down onto the floor, letting his boot press against Randy's stomach and Edge takes the needle, getting close to Randy's neck, making John snap and stand up and he's staring at Edge. "I'll do it." He suggests, looking back at Randy's eyes, blue eyes that are just thanking him, and as John leans down towards Cody, pressing his mouth to his into a quick kiss.

John takes the needle, staring at it, suddenly feeling Randy's pain and shuddering, he leans down towards Cody, feeling his breath on his face, and John kisses Cody one more time, feeling the sweet acid that's burning inside of Cody, John pulls away, running his hand through his hair. "I'll try not to hurt you."

Cody opens his mouth then shakes his head, staring at him, so lifelessly, so unmoving, "everyone hurts me."

John bites his lower lip, feeling the blood rush to his body, he stares back at Edge who nods his head and John looks back at the line that's Randy made, deep, sticky gushing blood pouring from it, and all John can do is stare at it, stare at how sticky and bloody it is and his stomach flips.

"Hey," Edge starts, 'stick it."

John's shaky hands go to Cody's arm and he closes his eyes so that he can't look at Cody's body and face, blood, hurt, scared but Edge lets out a chorus of laughter. "Told you, you disobey my rules, I'll make you do worse. Since it should've been Randy and you think it's better to just switch positions. Oh, you're wrong!" Edge snaps, violent and horrid. "Stick it. In his eyes."

John's body freezes from fright as he snaps his head towards Edge, "you're joking!" John exclaims. "I can't—I won't—"

Cody blinks. "Just do it." He whispers.

John snaps his head back to Cody, so lifeless, so dead, just watching, not really moving, unconscious with open eyes and a controlled voice, John just can't watch it without tearing his heart out on the inside as he clutches his hands onto the needle, feeling the blood run from his hand.

"Do it," Cody encourages him and John's shaky hands go to Cody's eye, John's eyes never leaving Cody's eyes, his beautiful turquoise eyes, he just can't see them in pain and as the needle rushes to Cody's eye, John lets the needle fall when he notices the amount of blood that's running from his eye, his pretty eyes and Cody's still so motionless, so lifeless, at the little flickers of electric pain to whenever he blinks.

Cody buries his head in John's chest, letting the blood seep, and John just stares, unable to register the fact that he'd done this and he jumps up, feeling Cody's body shake from underneath him. "It…it wasn't that bad," Cody tries to encourage him and then a sob escapes his throat as he blinks once more, feeling a rush of pain explode his head and he tries not to scream. Another chorus of sobs as Randy wraps his body around Cody's body and squeezes onto him.

Ted holds onto John's shoulder, feeling John shake as well. "That—that—I—"John stutters. "How could I do that?"

Ted squeezes onto John's shoulder, feeling the sweat that's running down his back and Ted's eyes are staring at John's face, and there's just this little piece of John that shocks Ted—the pain. It's so like Cody.

Edge is making them all too terrified to breathe.

Randy hears Cody's cell phone go off and as Randy's hand goes to Cody's pocket, accidentally pressing on speaker and hearing Dustin's voice. "Does it take you forever to pick up?"

Randy's heart thuds in his chest. "Oh, sorry, Cody, I didn't mean to—"

"Why the hell are you so silent?!" Dustin's voice shouts over the phone making Cody press against the train wall, sweat, so much, so hurt. "Cody, talk!"

"Yes, Dustin?" Cody barely squeaks out his words.

"I swear! You are a failure! Can't do anything half right, can you?" Cody looks down at the floor, feeling the tears threaten to spew. "Cody, talk to me! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Cody squeaks out.

"Nothing?! You're a big mess up! Everything is wrong with you! Just wait until you're out of that train, I'll love letting Todd—"

"No!" Cody exclaims, before Dustin can finish the words, and he buries his head in his knees, feeling the blood run from his eyes, feeling himself shake and he stares around the train, to see their shocked faces, plastered with horror.

"Aren't you just scared? What are you, five?" and then there's the dial tone and Cody's just relieved it's all over as Randy pulls him back, running his fingers through Cody's hair and staring as Cody's eyes run with blood and they all circle around the little Rhodes boy, Ted holding onto his shoulder.

"Dustin still does that to you? Why did you lie to me?"

"Just leave me alone," Cody says, feeling himself shake, "I'm no good for you, guys! I've been hurting you too much. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore…"

__

You can't stop **bleeding**.  
Can't stop **crying**.  
You're just **scarred**.

**__**

**Review? Get ready for a seriously dark chapter next! VERY Dark.**

**;) Sam**


	17. Sixth Day On The Train: Rape

**REALLY**** dark chapter. Keep that in mind.**

**Renna33: truthfully, I can't kill Cody. He's one of the main characters in the entire series. Michelle: you'll need him. :P Bianca: Change? A LOT. As for the slash…um…soon? I don't know really. Though there is some slash! I hope…?**

**Chapter 16  
****Sixth Day On The Train: Rape**

_**Inheriting troubles**_

__

You've **got** _nothing_.  
**You're** just _nothing_.

__

**Ted's POV**

Edge smirked. Happy Edge. Dark Edge. He was pushing me over the edge as I watched Cody curl up to Randy. I just can't believe it—why'd he lie to me about Dustin never touching him? Why'd he lie to me for ten years about something so very serious? I didn't want Cody to break this way. I've never seen him break this way. So scared, so very scared.

It hurt me.

Too much.

Watching his heart break, bleed, squeezing thick blood out, all too cut, all too broken, and all too hurt.

I held Cody's shoulder, feeling him shake and tremble, coldness all over, burned into the Cody's empty body, a condensing feel of pain inside of my stomach as I held onto his shoulder, feeling him move, "why'd you lie to me, Cody?"

Cody stared at me, too hurt, as he fell into my arms, so scared, so vulnerable, 'the only reason I lied is because Dustin hurt you. He gave me a proposition…he told me to lie to you and in exchange, he won't hurt you. But-but-he-tricked…" I ran my fingers through his hair, perfect, so sweet, so very sweet.

"Oh, Cody," I held onto him, felt him move beneath me. Scared. So very scared and as he fell asleep, I looked around, at John and Randy and tears were leaking off my eyes because I can't hide the pain anymore. I didn't think I could. It just hurt too much. To think about the pain that was exploding inside of me.

"I can't believe he lied to me. This is all my damn fault!" I exclaimed, knowing that even with all the screaming, Cody would still be asleep, I've known that for too long and it hurt to see how blind I was. I was so damn blind that I couldn't see how hurt Cody was…but I could piece the pieces together, the horror, the attempts of suicide, the way he jumped out of the car, the way we found him, the sudden hate, the sudden fear—it just hurts, doesn't it?

"Ted, don't be so harsh on yourself," Randy told me.

"Yeah, it's not your fault," John backed Randy up.

"It is. I know him better than anyone—why was I so stupid? I should've known. I should've—"it was all clear to me now.

I didn't even deserve Cody.

This was God's way of proving it.

If I couldn't see that he was in pain all along, how could I take care of him?

How could I make sure he wasn't hurt?

I didn't deserve Cody.

I knew it.

__

Just **hurts**.  
Too **much**.  
Just all in **pain**.  
Just **hurts**.  
Too **much**.  
Just all in **horror**.

__

**Cody's POV**

It just hurt.

It hurt so much.

Edge looks down at all of us, Edge laughs, so sweetly, and he leans down to me, so sickly sweet and it just hurts so much. It's nausea sloshing through my stomach. It's nausea burning through my stomach to my throat and it's all bile that's burning through my head and it hurts. It hurts so much.

"Dustin," Edge suddenly says. "Oh, I like him. Maybe we should put him on the train. That's be sweet, right?"

"No!" I exclaim.

I can't handle it.

There's too much emotions bottled and with Dustin, I don't think I can keep any of them in anymore. I feel Ted squeeze onto me, hold me, feel me and how much I wanted to kiss him right then, to make him take away all the pain.

I want him to take the pain away.

I don't want to be hurt.

And it just hurts…

"Oh, you don't like your brother?"

"He doesn't like me," I whisper.

Edge's snicker burns through the air. "You know what, Cody? Huh, babe? Why don't we put him inside? Don't you like your own brother?"

"He doesn't like me…" I try to convince him.

I watch as he phones and calls Dustin and I hear Randy and John's protests but all I can do is bury myself in my Ted's arms, sobbing, hard, pressing my head to his chest as the entire place goes silence.

"He made me do this! I swear I didn't want to—"

Ted presses his finger to my lips and leans down towards me, kissing my forehead and brushing his hand against my neck.

"Don't say anything, Cody. It's all okay right now."

I'm all safe in his arms.

I don't need anyone else when Ted's holding onto me. It's like he's the little piece of hope in me that I've been looking for.

"I won't let you go…I promise…"

__

I'll make this **right**.  
Somehow…  
Someway…  
Even if I have to **burn** myself **alive** for it.  
My **mistake**.  
I can't take knowing that **anymore**.

__

The sound of Dustin's footsteps scare Cody to bits as he makes his way inside of the train with a painted horrible smirk and two dark eyes, waiting, wanting, taking and not giving as he grabs onto Cody's shoulder, jerking him backwards from Ted's grip.

Ted's reluctant.

He holds onto Cody's hand as Cody holds onto Ted's shoulder.

"Same old thing since high school, Cody?" Dustin coos darkly.

And before Cody can say anything else, there's that snicker that makes Cody's entire face turn pale white as he twists his head to stare into the pure blue eyes of Todd. Todd holds onto Cody's back and jerks him violently from Ted. Dustin goes towards Ted, leaning down towards him and pinning him to the wall.

"Brady. Edge."

Brady walks eagerly towards John Cena and straps him in place, pinning and pressing him to the wall and before Randy can react, Edge had done the same, pinning and pressing and Randy can only fear, thinking of what Todd can do to Cody right now.

In a moment's time, all that can be heard is Cody's screaming and Todd's bitter laugh.

__

**Deceived**.  
Consumed.  
What's the **world**?  
What am I?  
__

Todd moves elastically away from a shaking Cody as he throws Cody's jeans back. "Here you go, you little kid," Todd sneers.

Cody wears his clothing before he can think and looks at Ted's eyes, seeing that darkness that resides, he twists his head away and walks towards the opposite side of the train, trying to gather his thoughts and his jaw hurts from all that screaming and before he can get to the other side, he lies to the ground—he faints from the exhaustion and terror that's reeling through him.

Ted stares.

Randy stares.

John stares.

They just don't believe it.

__

**Um…yeah. **_**VERY**_** dark.**

**Next chapter "challenge" because I owe it to you.**

**_Last Challenge: amputation._**

**If you don't know what amputation is, then you're better off not knowing.**

**;) Sam**


	18. Last Day On The Train: Amputate!

**The next chapter.**

**This story's nearing an end. And I'll miss it. Now that Renna33 dared me. I want to consider it but then again...it will ruin the rest of the plot I have planned inside of my head. So yeah. That one. :P**

__

Last Day On The Train: Amputate?!

__

_**I'm mentally numb**_

__

**Salvation**  
Isn't far off.  
We'll finally **see** the world  
with **colors**.

__

"Hello, kiddies. The week's ending today and we'll moving on to the last challenge…amputation."

__

How can you be **brave**  
when you can't even **think**?

__

Eyes wide.

Faces blank.

Edge expected this. Edge liked this. Edge liked the paleness of their faces and the shock burning in their eyes and their innocence was being crushed under the heel of his foot and he wasn't ashamed to say that he didn't care.

"Jonathon, I've tortured these kiddies enough," Edge pointed to Ted and Cody but his eyes were on Randy, "do it. Don't give me another excuse. Just freaking do it."

John was wide-eyed.

"No!"

Edge smirked. "You want to stay here forever?"

"I'd rather stay here forever! This is just sick!" John exclaimed, holding onto Randy's shoulder as if in protection with dark eyes.

"Someone's getting cut to ribbons or I'm not going to let you get out of here," Dustin's voice ripped through the air and Cody just stared at Ted, who gave a simply broken smile back and there was something in that smile…

Hope.

Something that Cody hadn't seen in a while.

Ted crawled towards Cody, pressing his body against his but all he could see was that Cody wanted to be alone.

Cody crawled away to the end of the train and stayed there, curled into a ball, thoughts of horror reeling in and out of his head.

Why did they have to do this for him?

Why couldn't they just go?

He didn't want them to get hurt because of his mistakes. He didn't want them to get hurt because he couldn't defend himself.

It hurt Cody to think that Ted might do this sick little game of Edge's just to get out and the way Edge's eyes were concentrating on them, almost wondering if they'll break or if they won't.

__

**Lost**.  
In this world.  
Where **colors** _die_.  
And **black** _lives_.

__

_Cody Rhodes' finger twists alongside of the alcohol bottle as he watches the bubbly liquid slosh inside of the bottle._

_He doesn't know why he's doing this._

_He's only eleven._

_But all he knows is that Dustin does this all of the time and as he lies down onto the floor, feeling the acidic liquid splash through and through the bottle, he brings it to his lips, and drinks it._

_He feels the alcohol burn through his throat._

_It hurts._

_It hurts a lot._

_He likes the pain._

_Is it wrong to like the pain?_

_Cody wonders as he places the bottle of alcohol to the floor and stands up before he looks at the time._

"_Ted."_

_He remembers he's supposed to meet Ted at the skate park about half an hour ago and the child grabs onto the cap on the table, flipping it over and looking down at his chubby hands, he shakes his head before running from his house to the skate park._

_It usually takes him about fifteen minutes walking._

_With running, it's only about ten minutes._

_Is it wrong to like the burning pain rushing from his throat to his head?_

_He stops where Ted's talking to a few boys, of course he's talking to boys his age—what fourteen year old would play with an eleven year old? _

_Ted leans down to Cody and smiles but then he smells the scent of alcohol on Cody's lips—"Cody? What—?"_

_Before Cody can say anything else, he trips on his shoe lace trying to get closer to Ted and Ted's so close to a fountain that he knocks his head onto the hard piece of decoration before he forgets the dizziness and Cody mumbles something stupidly. Ted leans down towards the clumsy Rhodes boy and holds onto his shoulder. Even though Cody doesn't like Ted doing this, it makes it easier for Ted to look into Cody's eye level since Cody's about the shortest eleven year old he'd ever seen._

"_He'd grow tall."_

_Dusty always said that._

"_You got drunk?"_

_Cody doesn't really know how to register the words coming out of Ted's lips and he looks down onto the floor, dizzy and dazed as Ted holds onto the eleven year old's body. "Let me take you home."_

"_But—"_

"_You're eleven years old. You shouldn't be drunk."_

_Once again, Cody Rhodes manages to ruin another day of Ted's life._

__

_I saw him.  
I saw that boy  
with broken blue eyes  
and dull brown hair  
die  
on the inside._  
**(He doesn't deserve it)**  
__

Cody shook the memory out of his head as he looked at Ted.

Ted.

He'd broken his life into two pieces onto the floor since the day he was born and still, he continued to break it.

How could Ted stick with him through all of this?

Why did Ted stick with him through all of this?

Cody whipped his head to the side, feeling as if Ted only pitied the little boy with blue eyes and a broken smile and jaded eyes.

__

_I saw him.  
My heart  
Is breaking  
and he's inside of my heart.  
My heart's bleeding.  
Suffocating him._  
**(I can't save him)**

__

Randy Orton licked off the last bit of chocolate from his fingers as John Cena watched the young man blankly.

"You said no," Randy finally said, licking the dark chocolate away from his mouth as John laughed sweetly.

"You thought I'd actually amputate you?"

"For Cody's sake. He's traumatized." The memories of yesterday sunk into Randy's brain. "I…I can't believe he was raped."

"I can't believe they made us watch." John added on.

The memories of yesterday attacked their brains, making them think about it, the harshness of the situation, his screams, his horrible, horrible screams, filling the air, and it made Randy's heart burn with an electric fire.

"He didn't deserve it. I swear I would've thrown myself there in his position. I don't want to watch people torture Cody anymore! He's been through too much. I want to get out of here and escape the damn world—fly out of this shithole."

"Need a partner?"

Randy's eyes locked with John's and Randy simply nodded his head as he leaned towards John's jean pocket and ripped off a crispy Galaxy bar from John's pocket. "What? The chocolate's going to be your partner?"

"Shut up," Randy said, shoving the piece of chocolate inside of his mouth nicely, watching Cody and Ted, remembering their laughter, their sweet, sweet laughter, burning into his memory, it just made Randy feel even more empty on the inside.

Chocolate can't fill the hole inside of him.

"Yeah," Randy finally decided. "I guess it is." He said, taking a bit of chocolate and putting it on John's nose.

"You mean me?"

"No."

Randy's eyes were on Ted right now, staring at Cody, longing, not touching, wanting, not having—and he went back to biting another piece.

Still so empty.

__

Can't **stay** here.  
**Forever**.

__

"We have to do something."

Ted never thought of spending an eternity in a train. It made him shake and go pale on the inside when he thought of it. He didn't want it and he, sure as Hell, didn't want to think about it at all.

John nodded his head. "But we can't amputate anyone."

Ted thought for a moment before sighing. "Give me all the candy you guys have."

"What? Why?" John asked, suddenly puzzled and confused, trying to figure out what Ted's trying to reach.

"Diabetes runs in the family. I need to gain the weight. That way, I'd _have_ to amputate." Ted explained which only received shocked stares from them, pale faced, blank faced, wide eyed—

"Ted, we are not letting you do that!"

"I won't!"

Their faces twisted to see Cody who barely said a word most of the time. His eyes were spiraling with horror at the thought of Ted even considering it, much less willing enough to do it.

"No, Ted. I will not watch you throw away your life for mine anymore. My problem. My fear. If anyone's going to do this, it should be me. It doesn't matter. I'm numb to pain right now…" Cody said, the very few sentences had an edge, ferocity nipped to them but by the time he had gotten to the end, his voice turned soft and frail.

"Cody, no…"

Ted moved to his life-long friend, lifting his chin and looking deep into his eyes. "Don't get hurt just because of me."

"You've always done for me and I can't sit here and watch anymore. It's become too much for me to handle, Teddy." Cody whispered. "I can't take it anymore…"

__

Sometimes, even the **softest** of stones  
have an **edge**.

__

**I'm not **_**THAT**_** evil.**

**Not in this fic anyways. Cheers! I know what'll happen for sure. It ends happily. Sorta. **

**;) Sam**


	19. What Can I Do?

**I was working on '**_**Alone'**_** and finished…well, a bit of it. I'd say… 1/4 of it. Lol. :) **

**Here's the next chapter. My official break from working on '**_**Alone'**_**.**

__

What Can I Do?

__

"_Miss me, Cody?"_

He hadn't heard the voices in a while.

They were talking to him, with their sickly sweet voice, but there was something different…they sounded more like Ted's voice and that made a shiver go down Cody's spine as he closed his eyes.

He could only shuffle those voices for so long.

They'd always come back to haunt him. They'd always be there to ruin what was left of his life. And that was why he didn't want them around. It made him think too much about Todd and it made him feel humiliated and as he watched Ted, his head on his arm, asleep, snoring every so softly and how much did Cody want to slip into Ted's arms, be safe from all the dangers. Be safe from the voices.

It reminded him all of a horror movie.

But Ted's eyes.

They were so beautiful. They made him feel calm. They made him feel closure on the inside and he didn't know what would happen if he lost Ted. He didn't even want to think about it because every time he did, he felt too empty on the inside and he knew that, as well as anyone did.

"No."

"_Oh, Coddles, come on. Did you miss your ole' pal, Teddy?"_

Cody's heart sunk to his chest as he slowly nodded his head and watched Ted move in his sleep, seeing the drool roll down from his wide open mouth and he couldn't help but smile because Ted looked so adorable and Ted was his Teddybear and how much did he want to hold onto him, squeeze onto him but every time he thought about it, he felt as if Ted would explode.

"_Listen… do you remember? We've been here before."_

Cody blinked, several times, but it was the trauma of being in a train that made him not want to remember because when he tried to remember anything from a train, his heart would beat ten times faster and all he could remember was Dustin pushing him down the rail and his eyes go to Dustin, who was sleeping, snoring loudly, so loud that Randy and John grunted every time they heard a too big of a snore come along but they never opened their eyes because of the exhaustion.

Cody was exhausted, too.

He wanted to go to sleep.

But he didn't know how to close his eyes.

He blinked once, twice, three times before trying to shut his eyes and he hoped that there weren't any nightmares as he drifted off to memory land.

_Fifteen year old Cody Rhodes held a flashlight as he walked inside of the train. _

_Tears run down his cheek._

"_I…I'm sorry, Ted."_

_It was all he could say as he walked inside of the dark, damp train and sat down miserably. "Where you going, kid? And what's up with the flashlight?" the driver asked, poking his head towards Cody._

"_I…I'm afraid of the d-dark."_

_The driver only laughed and Cody tried to explain but he didn't and he guessed that he wouldn't as he heard another set of footsteps and his heart thudded at the possibility and seeing his eighteen year old best friend, standing there, breathing in and out and running towards him, hugging him, finally happy that he was safe but then he moved away and slapped Cody so hard that snot flew out of his nose._

"_What the hell were you thinking?! Running away? You're fifteen for God's sake!" Cody can see from Ted's eyes that he was exhausted and that he wanted to go to sleep but there was the faint scent of alcohol at the tip of his tongue but Cody tried so hard to ignore that as he let his head bob to the side._

Cody tried to remember but he couldn't go further.

And suddenly, he wanted his flashlight back. He was still afraid of the dark and Ted knew that more than anyone else in the world. Now that he knew he wanted the flashlight, he felt stupid for not carrying one around him just in case they needed to go through dark places and he put his head back to the train wall, pressing it harshly.

"_Come on, Cody, you know this one…"_

Those were the words that Ted used to say to Cody when he was trying to solve a math equation but ended up throwing the notebook at the opposite side of the wall, those were the words that Cody heard all the time from Ted when he wanted something, those were the words that marked that voice as Ted's for sure.

Cody closed his eyes all over again.

Hoping for anything else.

As he slipped into the darkness at the back of his head.

_Ted realized what he'd done as he walked closer to him and kissed his forehead, "oh, I'm so sorry, Cody…"_

_Cody looked down._

_And he said the words that broke Ted's heart._

"_Don't be. I'm used to it."_

_No one should ever be used to pain._

_And Ted knew that._

_The train moved._

_And they didn't care._

_Their eyes were locked._

_Ted let his hands go around Cody's neck and he kissed him, pressing against Cody's body, he kissed him, hard and harsh, enough to make Cody's heart melt with glee as they both fell to the floor, still tackling each other with their tongues._

_Ted moved away from him. "No."_

_Cody's eyes looked down at the floor._

"_No. Cody, you're too young."_

"_I'm fifteen."_

"_It's not that, Cody. You're younger than me. By three years. I can't let you do this to yourself. You'll get hurt. We're both at different parts of our lives. I can't get you mixed into mine."_

_Cody's tears ran down his eyes._

"_I don't think I like you anymore, Teddy."_

"_You shouldn't."_

_It hurt Ted like Hell. To see himself do this to Cody. Again. He promised himself that he'll never do this. Never again._

Cody's eyes opened, shaded a dull grayish blue.

"Why are you making me watch this? It just hurts!"

"Oh, Cody…you know that there's something there…"

Cody's eyes reluctantly close again but he wanted to know if there was truly something there.

Something that he was missing.

_Cody rolled to his side, away from Ted because he was too angry at his best friend for breaking his heart like this._

_He knew how fragile Cody was._

_Yet he stepped on his heart like everyone!_

_Cody felt betrayed. So very betrayed._

_He noticed the loose screws on the train. He mumbled on how they needed to fix that before falling asleep…_

Cody's eyes fluttered open as he searched the train.

Anything near John was screwed tight.

Anything near Ted was screwed tight.

Anything near Randy was screwed tight.

He just about gave up as he went to his sleeping position and rolled to his side and then he saw the little black pieces on the train—still loose.

A grin of triumph burned on his face. He can do _something_.

They were finally going to be out…

__

**Yeah, now I agree with you.**

**I torture Ted and Cody too much. And a little bit of Randy angst here and there in some of my fics… **

**What do you think will happen now? :)  
**

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	20. Crushing Me

**Yeah, next chapter…what else can I say?**

__

Crushing Me

__

Do you know how it **feels**  
to taste **freedom**  
after being **trapped** for so long?

__

Eyes fluttered in the darkness.

"Cody, aren't you supposed to be asleep?" John asked, yawning once and stretching as if it was morning but the truth was that John didn't know what time it was and as he looked at the clock to realize how late at night it was, he sighed and walked towards him to see Cody trying to unscrew the few nails that were there. Enlightenment and satisfaction burned through John's eyes. "That's smart of you."

John works on the opposite side and takes off the nails of the piece of metal, and the sound of the nails hitting onto the floor had woken up Ted and Randy, unaware of John and Cody's effort into trying to take the huge piece of metal out and suddenly, as they registered the scene in front of them, both gave an identical smile to both Cody and John, crawling towards them and watching them at work, "Ted, you're good at this techno-stuff. You should help them."

"And you'll watch?" Ted asked.

Glee in them for the first time in what felt like forever.

John grinned as he noticed the satisfaction that pulled through Randy's eyes as he pushed Ted towards John and Cody, who instantly and reluctantly got to work with them, unscrewing nails, slowly and carefully so Dustin and Edge didn't wake up. Anyone who'd know Dustin would know that dropping a piano inside of the damn train wouldn't wake him up. And as for Edge, Edge slept through a rock concert… Randy recalled, smirking to himself, as he relaxed, at ease, staring at them as they were at work.

"Ted, we told you to work, not show your underwear for the rest of the world," Randy told him.

Ted shook his head as he looked at a tired John Cena, who seemed to have half the screws pulled out, and he shook his head. "You can go rest. But don't expect to be paid," Ted joked.

John shook his head, and lay down next to Randy.

__

**Escape**.  
To **Never Ever **land.  
Where everything's just always **perfect**.

__

"So we're finally going to go out…"

John's eyes are looking up at the ceiling, reflection of him and Randy Orton, and he notices how they look like statutes, teenagers in the park, laying down as if there isn't a care in the world.

"Yeah," Randy decides. "Finally…I'm going to fly out of this place the first chance I get."

"Yeah?" John says, rolling so that he could see Randy's eyes instead of the ceiling. Randy does the same and their bodies almost touch as they stare into each other's eyes. "You're going to fly?"

"Fly high. No limits. No speed. No world. Just out of this world."

"You mean like dreaming?"

"Something like that…"

"You still need a partner?"

"Depends. You still up for the ride?"

"I think I might be," Their faces are so close that John's ready to kiss Randy but then, a voice takes them out of their reverie—

"We're done!"

__

_Sweet  
Freedom_  
**+right in front of you…**

__

They're getting ready to leave.

_3:20._

Ted straps his green backpack to his back and he watches as Cody takes his black duffel bag in his hand, and Cody, unaware that Ted's so close, starts to move, only to have his body bump into Ted's and Ted holds onto Cody's wrist as his duffel bag falls from his hand, only for Ted to hear a crack.

Ted leans down to the train's floor and opens the duffel bag, to see what's cracked. He takes the piece in his hands. It's painted a lime green, bright even in the darkness of the train and Cody touches one of the green pieces, looking at Ted.

It's just like their hearts.

Broken beyond repair.

Ted sighs. "This…you had this?"

He remembers.

Twelve year old Cody and his fifteen year old friend were bored and decided to make a cup, molding the mug in their heads, painted green (_because Cody's favorite color had been yellow at that time and Ted's favorite color had been green)_ so the lime green had been painted on the cup.

"_If we get any more friends, we paint the patches…remember?"_

They never live up to the promise.

They never really live up to any promise.

Ted holds the broken piece close to his chest, making sure it doesn't cut him.

Ted places the piece down on Cody's duffel bag. "I guess everything just breaks nowadays, don't they, Cody?"

_3: 21._

Cody simply nods his head, even though he doesn't want to be true.

"I loved this."

Everything just breaks.

When it's in Cody Rhodes' hands.

He watches as Ted closes up his bag and gives Cody back his duffel bag and then he notices something. "Remember the ski trip last year?" Ted grins, making Cody's heart melt as he nods his head

_3: 22._

"Remember…I broke my hand trying to ski and you stayed with me the entire day?"

Cody grins and chuckles, nodding his head.

"Yeah, I used to make fun of that duffel bag." Ted says, and then as if they're back in the ski lodge, as if he's on the bed with a broken cast on his hand, he added on, "why is it all so black?"

"Because I couldn't find green, Mr. Likes To Be Color Coordinated," Cody says, remembering the incident as if it was yesterday.

Ted stares at him, with the grinning gleeful smile still on his face. "But we'll match that way! You know how your ski clothes are always green and it's kind of weird to be logging around a black backpack when you look like a leprechaun."

"Finlay made me do it," Cody responds, chuckling.

Their laughter erupts and even with the sound of their laughter, Dustin and Edge hadn't woken up.

"Evil minds sleep alike," Ted tells him, noticing that they are both still very engrossed in their dreams.

_3: 23._

"You two want to get us killed or something?" Randy asks, cutting through them both, standing beside them with a red bag, John's red bag, they notice as John lugs Randy's blue one.

"Maybe…" Ted says, shrugging.

Randy grins. "Already ourselves, aren't we, Ted?"

Ted slowly nods his head. "Just remembering stuff I guess. I'm just so happy that we're alive and okay that I don't even notice that we're not even out of the damn train yet!" he exclaims.

"Let's go out of the damn train then…"

Randy walks towards the now hole in the train. "It's not big enough. Think we can fit John in it?"

John looks at him, then shakes his head. "Oh yeah, Randall? You're the one who ate all of my chocolate."

"I'm not the one lugging around chocolate and I was depressed. It helped soothe me." John laughs at the idea of Randy eating chocolate when he's depressed while Randy flushes into a pink color, and he's happy that his skin's not like Ted's, as he takes Ted's hand, "you're small so you'll fit first."

"Why not Cody?" Ted asks, suddenly noticing. "I mean, he is the smallest, right?"

"Don't be such a wimp, Theodore," Randy says, as he holds onto Ted's hand as Ted sits down at the edge, Randy holding onto Ted's hand as he looks at where he is. He doesn't even know! His head races as he realizes that they might truly be far away from home as it is.

He slips off the train and looks at Randy, grinning to say that it's safe to go out.

_3:24._

The driver mumbles something sleepily as he accidentally presses onto an unwanted button.

The train moves.

Fast.

Too fast.

_3:25._

Ted realizes this and suddenly, starts running, knowing as good as Hell that he's probably going to be alone as he calls the train. "Someone jump! I can't be alone! I don't know where to go…"

He knows that his thoughts are stupid.

But he truthfully doesn't want to be alone.

He's scared of this place.

He doesn't know where he is and he doesn't know where to call for help and he doesn't want to think that he'll be all alone.

He stops running to catch a quick breath.

He notices that the train's already left with him.

And he's all alone now…

_3:26._

"Shit, we lost Ted," John says as he pokes his head from the huge hole.

"We need to take you off, too, John," Randy suddenly says. "You need to go to the police. Call Ted. Tell him to tell all of this to Dusty and his father, so that they can be aware about what had Dustin done to them both… we need him and Edge in jail. We can't risk this happening to anyone else."

John gives a simple nod of the head. "I'm on it."

He sits at on the train ground and looks down at the rails as Randy grips tight on the man's shoulder. "And thanks," he whispers into John's ears, getting John by surprise. Randy Orton thanking him of all people for something? Anything?

Randy tries to push him out but as Randy had predicted, John won't go out of the train. He's too big. "Oh shut up," John says before a word can escape Randy's throat, but he can still hear Randy's chuckles.

Randy takes a deep breath. "I just hope that you don't get hurt."

_3:27._

Ted stares around.

He thinks he's lost.

He's been wandering around this place for what—one, two minutes and already he's afraid? It feels like an eternity.

Being around here.

Hearing voices.

Shadows all around.

He's scared.

He hears a beep from his watch.

_3:28._

He promised Cody that he'll protect him.

But right now, he feels like he can't protect himself.

He walks in circles until he feels too tired to move and hopes, just hopes, for a miracle. He'd call any of John and Randy or Cody even, but he knows how loud their ringtones are and that will wake them up.

He takes a deep breath and falls to the grass.

Trying to figure out where he is.

There doesn't seem to be any building.

Anything.

Just grass and road.

_3:29._

Randy pushes John out of the train.

The metal on the top of the hole scrapes against John's head so the blood seep out of it and he feels the blood trickle from his forehead, almost making his body explode as he looks around.

Just grass and road.

Oh great.

"Ted!"

No sound.

He must be farther than Ted.

He takes his cell phone and starts to dial Ted's phone number.

_3:30._

Ted feels his heart thud in his chest.

He hears the sound of his ringtone and he's never been happy to hear "Priceless" ever again. He flips his phone and presses it to his ear, "hello?"

"Ted!"

"John!"

"Listen. Here's Randy's plan. You got to tell Dusty and your father about this. I go to the police. When we're done, we meet up here again. Sounds good?" John asks, looking around the darkness but not finding Ted. "You have to convince them to come here, Ted. I know it'll be hard…"

Ted nods his head. "I know. It is hard. This is a secret I've been keeping from my father and Dusty both for twenty six years…"

"I'll pray for you."

Ted hears the dial tone and shuts his phone, looking around as he feels the cold air around him, weighing him down, breaking him apart on the inside as he walks and walks and walks until he reaches the city again, buildings and places.

He knows that this'll be the hardest thing he'll ever have to do but he has to do it right?

Even if just the thought of all that weight on his shoulders, having to tell both The American Dream and the Million Dollar Man about all this horror that they've been through, is crushing Ted into pieces on the inside.

__

**There.**

**Okay. Ted has to tell Dusty and his own father about this. Randy and Cody are still stuck in the train. John has to go the police...but he has no idea where he is. This should be fun to write. :P  
**

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	21. Help

**And the next chapter…:)**

__

Help

__

**Hunting** me  
down with a _**smile**_  
of **depression**.

__

John Cena's feet are killing him.

He's thirsty. He's hungry. He's tired. He's just exhausted as he takes another step towards the gas station, grinning that he'd find at least one sign of life as he runs towards the gas station, noting how much his legs actually ached and how heavy his eyelids feel as he goes inside the gas station.

"Hello," he says to the guy behind the counter. "What's the nearest police station?"

"100 miles from here, kid," John looks down at the clock. He barely knows how to drag himself out of here, and he sees as a bunch of men shove him aside, talking to the guy in the counter and he notices how big and bulky they are and the sign at the back of one of their shirts and grins. They're bikers.

John knows that it's stupid of him but he needs to get there fast. "Yo," he starts, watching as their 'leader' he presumes, stares right at him with hard brown eyes and he swears he suddenly remembers Chris Jericho from the hair color and the skin tone but he doesn't say anything else before he notices that the guy's telling him to spill the beans. "You ride on bikes?"

"Yeah," one of them pipes it. "What's it of your business?"

"J.J, I'm the one who talks," the leader spits out. "He's right anyways. What is it of your business?"

"What could I do to get one of them?" John smirks, suddenly feeling as if he's in an action movie all over again as they let a laugh slip off their tongues, which makes John's blood boils deeply.

"He'd do anything, right?" J.J says.

"Drinking contest." The leader decides.

John's eyes widen as he nods his head anyways. A drinking contest? Why does it sound just so wrong? John can't handle two glasses of alcohol and from the look of these men, they look like all they ever breathe is alcohol.

__

**Breathing** me  
because I'm so **unforgettable**.

__

"Hello, Dusty Rhodes?"

Ted sits down onto a chair, feeling his heart pound steadily in his chest, and he hopes, just hopes that someone will answer him. He doesn't think he has the courage to dial the numbers again. Even for a moment. It just rips a piece of Ted's heart every time he pushes a number.

Knowing what he'll say.

It'll just plain hurt both of them.

"Theodore DiBiase?"

"Yes. It-it's me." Ted stutters and he remembers how much Cody's looked up at his father and now, he's going to crush every piece of that into nothing, simply nothing, onto the floor and he'll crush it all in one conversation. "You see. I'm calling about Cody…"

"Is he hurt?"

"Yes." He can't lie.

"How badly?" It's the concern that's lapped up in Dusty's voice that makes Ted swallow a lump in his throat and takes another breath.

"It's Dustin and him. Since the day that Cody had been born, Dustin had been doing…things to him…really horrible things…and now, he's gotten us into trouble with Edge…and-and-he tried to kill himself so many times just so he can get away from Dustin. Dustin made Cody…hate…the world…"

Silence.

"You're joking, aren't you?!"

Ted jumps up. His heart's racing more than ever.

"No! I swear! You didn't notice? The bruises on his face, him drinking at ten, him getting hurt too many times? The extra pain…? You h-haven't noticed?" Ted stutters and stammers, finding that the words slipping out of his mouth are weighing him down as he takes another breath.

"What did you do to him? I swear if you're trying to pin the blame on Dustin—"

Ted's heart jump starts, racing at even the thoughts of him hurting Cody, "no, it's just that—"

"Is that it, Theodore? Do you want to pin the blame on my Dustin? He'd never do anything to hurt Cody!"

Tears leak out of Ted's eyes. "I didn't do anything!"

He doesn't even like thinking about it. He doesn't want to think that he'd hurt Cody in any way as he clutches onto his shirt and leans down to the pavement, sobbing recklessly, "I-didn't-do—anything…"

He hears that wrecked dial tone and he runs his hand through his hair, trying to collect the pieces of him on the floor but he can't and with a shaky hand, he calls his father now, trying to stop his sobs from escaping his throat_. You're already broken, Ted. You want to break even more? You're pathetic…_

Ted ignores his own thoughts.

"D-Dad?"

"Theodore?"

He hates how everyone calls him Theodore. His father. His mother. Dusty. Sometimes, even Randy and Cody when they're angry at him, or daring for that matter. But sometimes, he wants to be Theodore. Because he doesn't know who Theodore is. He just knows Ted DiBiase.

That's one of those times.

"I called Dusty about something…"

"I despise that man and you know it." The words spit out like they're acid and Ted takes it in because he thinks that he hates Dusty, too, now after the words he'd said—about him hurting his Cody. No. He'd never do that. He'd never think about doing that. It just hurts Ted too much.

"C-Cody, John, Randy and I have been in a train as a part of Edge's challenge because he threatened to kill me…Dustin's been abusing Cody and I since I was three and since Cody was born, but he stopped when I was sixteen but he's still hurting Cody and—I don't like to see him that way…"

"You like that Rhodes boy?"

If his father had been standing right beside him, he'd see that Ted would rip his heart out for Cody Rhodes.

"Yes. I like him very much."

"He's gotta you under some sort of spell, the Rhodes boy, Cody," the Million Dollar man says. Then realization hits him. "Wait—he threatened to kill you?"

"Yes! He made us do crazy things like cutting each other, too! He used to get me bottles and bottles of alcohol and makes me drink myself to a black out. He knows that I'll be better when I wrestle that way."

"That sick little piece of…" Ted's father decides not to curse in front of his son before he sinks in the words in. "Did you call the police?"

"John is calling the police. We just need you to be here so we can throw Edge and Dustin in jail—for good." Ted says softly and happiness finally burns inside of him, knowing that there's hope that his father would help him. Even if Dusty isn't. And as his heart mends together by his father's words.

"Why do we need to throw them in jail?"

"Didn't you listen to me? He's hurting Cody right now and we can't let him do that!" Ted exclaims, trying to remind him. "And Edge—Edge was drowning me in alcohol so I can wrestle better…didn't you listen to any of this?"

"I like his method…"

"I hate you!"

Ted stops when he said that. Ted just couldn't believe it.

He shuts his phone and grabs onto the nearest pole, cold and black, thick and he hits his head in it. "No…no! This cannot be happening!"

He had just lost his father and Dusty's respect in one quick phone call.

Why did this have to happen?

Ted's heart thuds once more as he hits his head so hard on the pole that blood tricks from his forehead. "No…"

Everything in front of him.

Just shattered.

Dustin can come back and hurt Cody without his knowledge.

Edge will and can find a way back to them.

They'll never be safe again.

They'll always be scared of what's to come.

__

_Alcohol  
Burns._  
**+you're an addict**

__

John Cena had never been straight edge before.

At the age of ten, he used to hook up with boys just for the fun of hooking up. At fifteen, he'd smoked. A lot. At sixteen, he quit smoking. At nineteen, he'd taken a swig of alcohol and he found himself drowning in alcohol. At twenty, he stops drinking and smoking because it's starting to take effect of his body and face.

He doesn't know how Punk does it.

He takes a quick swig of alcohol.

Old memories washing over John.

About two hour later, John's dizzy and nauseous and all he needs is this one cup to get a bike to ride the station after getting more details, and now, as he finishes the cup, the dizziness just reaches a new level and the leader says "I give" before John walks to a motorbike and sits on it, his head still dizzy with alcohol, he starts the bike.

His head's here and there.

All hazy.

He finds himself coming and going into reality.

He stops by the police station and walks inside, drunk with his head spinning and his heart exploding inside of his chest from so much alcohol.

"Get the drunken idiot out of here!"

John's shoved out of the police station before he can even say another word and he finds himself flying back to the motorbike. Hitting his head, and at that moment, John Cena blacks out from excessive alcohol.

__

You're not **safe** **anymore**.  
And you just **hope**  
that God will have **mercy** on you.

__

Edge's eyes slowly flutter open.

Dustin feels a nudge and he opens his eyes.

They see Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes, talking about something and there's a hole in their train and their eyes flash violently.

Dustin stands up. "So Cody, you want to die quick or slow?" he says, taking a knife from his pocket.

__

**What? I know it's evil.**

**But I love for evil.**

**Plus, this chapter just called for it.**

**;) Sam**


	22. ExplainPain

**We're going to reach the climax of this story soon… :)**

**Also, last chapter was too short. Hey. Blame '_Alone_'. It's taking up all of my strength. But I'm updating again...because well, I wanted to. I had this chapter done. I was too excited about the plans I made for this story! :)  
**

__

Explain/Pain

__

_What we used to talk about  
Fades  
as we stare into the eyes of the dark  
everything just pounds in your chest  
and you just explode  
don't remember anything at all, do you now?  
_**+all you can think about is life and death… **

__

_Randy's hands were drifting towards Cody as he held onto him. He sat onto the floor, his legs out of the train and their eyes staring out in the open and they knew that had to wait until they had gotten out of this rocky environment they were in now—the last thing that Randy needed was for Cody to get hurt and since of all the blood loss, more blood can possibly kill Cody and as Randy shuddered at the thought, holding onto Cody's arms, and resting his head on Cody's shoulders, "what are you thinking of right now? Your freedom? Escape?"_

_Cody shook his head. "Ted."_

_Randy's smile had faded as he pushed Cody's back closer to his stomach, as he sat there on his paining knees, knowing that out of everything, he wanted to go out there, run off, fly—no limits as he had told John, and come to think of it, he'd never been too honest with anyone but John Cena before. "You know he loves you."_

"_He said I'm too young when I was fifteen. There was no way that he'd change his mind right now," Cody said, completely and utterly defensive, 'besides, he told me he loved me—and then he took it back like it wasn't the most important words of his life…that happened a long time ago too. He and I were convinced that we just weren't meant to be."_

"_You are meant to be, trust me," Randy said, stroking Cody's ear as if he was a cat and then looked from Cody's shoulder, seeing that the rockiness was slowing down and he'd be able to push Cody out of the train right now. _

"So Cody, you want to die quick or slow?"

That voice snapped them out of their reveries as they looked back to at the horrible truth that was Dustin Rhodes.

Randy gripped protectively of Cody Rhodes' arms but Cody stared deep into those eyes of his, solid and hard, anger blazing on Dustin's behalf and compassion for Cody, but as Dustin walked towards them, too close, and Cody had caught sight of the gun, he did what he felt like he should've done, taking Randy's arms and flinging him back and even though the sharp metal had caught Randy's head and cut a small gash, he was fine as he fell down to the now all grassy ground.

"Cody!"

Fear provoked Randy's head.

He stood up and tried to run.

But in the middle of it all, he stopped to try and catch a breath, and he was so fatigue and weak and sleepy from all that chocolate bars and his love/hate relationship with chocolate had taken a good time to strike as he leaned down to the grass and took a quick, swift and deep breath.

The train was completely out of his sight.

Fear banged through him even more.

He ran and ran.

But nothing. He didn't see anything at all.

The train was too fast.

"Cody…"

__

_Shock  
Flares.  
Nothing  
Stays  
But_

**HORROR.**

__

John Cena had just woken up from his sleep, and entangled in a motorbike, he felt confusion and so out of reality as he looked around, standing up with an aching spine and confused, broken in thoughts and he felt as if he was alive, standing there, watching and dead, numb, completely and utterly numb as he touched his head and felt the rush of over whelming pain take his head—he felt as if he was about to explode as he fell to the ground and all that he felt and tasted and smelled was alcohol.

He wanted it so much.

Alcohol.

He could taste it at the tip of his tongue.

He saw a person running towards him and it took time for him to recognize that person – Ed? Fred? Jed? – No, Ted. He knew it as it spiked his brain to the core, sending an exploding amount of thoughts of what and when through John's brain.

"What happened?"

Ted's eyes went to the motorcycle.

Ted didn't know and he didn't really care as the confusion stirred in John and as John walked off, Ted followed him and John took Ted's shoulder and flung him down, and John let the pain sink through his body, still explosive, still burning through him and he walked off. He didn't really know anything.

But he wanted alcohol.

Badly.

He felt Ted's hand hold onto his shoulder as John jerked him off again, letting his foot settle on top of Ted's stomach as he pushed his shoe through him and Ted would've fought but the week had worn him out and he had just wanted it to be over—he had no energy to fight and he had to energy to try and breathe as John walked off and Ted laid down, clutching onto his pain throbbing stomach and he let the thoughts sink in. Knowing that Cody and Randy could be in danger at just this second.

He heard his phone ring but standing up with his stomach rising acid had made him not care about the phone call and he decided to walk off.

Ted had decided last night that he hated phone calls.

And he didn't want to pick it up in fear of having his heart broken all over again.

__

_Sweet little drink  
of alcohol_  
**+you really are an addict…**

__

The bar that John had gone in was all clutter and chatter.

He walked towards the bartender and ordered a shot of tequila, wanting nothing more than to drink himself to death, or at least that was what his mind was telling him to do, another part of him was telling him to go back.

But back to where?

Confusion stirred his head.

Hard.

"You saw that?" the bartender asked John.

"Hmm? Pardon?" John asked, letting his straw play around with the glass of tequila in his hand and he looked back at the man as he took a swig of alcohol, letting it slide down his throat and he knew that there was tequila and terror mixed in with his drink, yet he didn't know why he was so terrified.

"Train. Couple of guys hurting a kid. Called the police but they didn't believe us." The bartender said. "And you should've seen it. Another kid flew out of it. Blue eyes…barely had hair but really tall and toned."

John let the information sink in.

Blue eyes.

Barely had hair.

But really tall and toned.

All that he could remember was Randy Orton.

He suddenly fumbled for change, the memories of yesterday washing over him like a wave of despair and he realized what he had done to Ted, he paid the bartender and was fixing to go out but he stopped, staring at the cup of tequila.

One cup.

That was all he needed, didn't he?

__

You're all **alone**.  
**Confused**.  
You're all **alone**.  
_**Terrified**_.

__

Randy Orton bumped into someone.

He stopped to inspect the look on Ted DiBiase's face, shocked, relieved, slightly content but still so very broken and terrified, "oh, Randy!" Ted said, hugging his friend, and shaking in his arms, almost crying.

"Where's John?"

"I thought he got drunk or something because he looked like he was having a hangover," Randy should've trusted Ted with it, because he knew that for sure, Ted had seen more drunk people in his life other than anyone that Randy knew. He nodded his head, digesting the information…

_Of course, he turned his back on me. No problem._

Randy simply looked at Ted. "What do we do? Did you call Dusty and your dad?" he asked him, trying to get information out of the shaking Ted. Ted only nodded his head. "What happened?" Randy's voice softened.

"Dusty accused me of hurting Cody!" It was such a sensitive subject for Ted, just ripped his heart out into pieces, just made him bleed on the inside. "And my dad…he said some mean stuff about Cody and I didn't think he was listening to me! He didn't really care most of the time! Just listening around probably because the neighbors were there or something and he didn't want to give off the impression of a bad father!"

Ted stared at Randy's face, shock, pure shock as he scooped Ted to his chest, sobbing. "W-where's Cody?" he managed to say. "Is he off to tell the police or something?"

"He's stuck in the train," Randy almost whispered, soft, so very soft.

"What?!" Ted said, his voice filled with horror as tears ran down his cheeks and he stomped his foot to the floor, feeling his stomach sloshed with acid and pain and agony, 'just great! Just g-g-g-great…"

He held onto Ted's shoulders and brought him close to him, rubbing the back of Ted's back. "I swear I won't let anything happen to you and Cody, not when I'm around. Go dry your eyes…I'll try to look for train tracks…"

Ted only nodded his head. He could cry his eyes out later. He had to look for Cody now. He had to look for John now.

He needed to make things right again.

He needed to fix things again.

But he wondered even if everything was fixed, would he be fixed, too?

__

**And yes, soon…very soon…I'll hit the highest point of this story.**

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	23. Impaired

**I had to just do this.**

**I became addicted…sorry.**

**Yeah, I've never updated so much on one story in one night.  
**

__

Impaired

__

Your brother **hates** you.  
Your **blood** and **flesh** and soul.  
Do you **hate** **yourself**, too?

__

Dustin pressed Cody down on the floor of the train.

He'd been waiting for this for so very long. Hearing his brother's heart thud as Dustin moved, with the knife shining at the light of the moonlight, and Cody felt the pain without having Dustin push the knife inside of him, the ripping quick agony that will torment him for a moment before he died.

Completely lay on the floor dead.

"I hate you so much, Cody."

Dustin spat out his words like acid.

Slipping off his tongue so easily.

And even if Cody was supposed to hate his brother, too, he didn't—this just hurt. This just hurt too much.

"You know that you made my life miserable."

The knife was so close to Cody's body, so very close, just inches away, the wrong turn and the knife would be stabbed inside of him and he could hear the rails and could taste the bitterness of his blood and he only closed his eyes and just hoped that his friends were safe. It felt like his only wish and it truly was his only wish.

Faces.

They were just faces all over again.

Randy.

Holding him as he slept.

Calming him down when he was hysterical.

Protecting him when he was harmed.

Brushed the stray hairs out of his face.

"From the day you were born, Cody, I knew it from your eyes, just from your stupid blue eyes, that you were going to grab all of my attention away. 'Cute little baby'. 'Oh, he looks like his mother'. I didn't like hearing them. I loved only watching you as you cry. I guess you can call me a sadist little brother, aren't I? Dad wasn't home most of the time. Mother Dearest was half the time out. I was there to take care of you. But I didn't want to take care of you… how I loved watching you suffer…how I loved watching those blue eyes flash with terror. How I loved watching that brown hair turn dull. How I loved your flesh paling. I loved your screams most of all. I loved your tears, too. Weak little boy, aren't you, Cody?"

Cody didn't speak.

He just stared.

Too hurt for words.

His brother really was a sadist bastard.

He didn't know what to do but stare.

No words could slip off his mouth anymore.

"And when you turned all grown up, six years old, I loved bossing you around because you know what I wanted…you wanted my approval. You've always wanted my approval. You knew that you can never have it but you tried anyways because that's how innocent and cute you were, weren't you? You don't give up and I wanted you to surrender to me. I wanted to watch you break. I loved breaking you. I loved shattering you into pieces. I loved watching you bleed."

John.

He'd played him too hard.

Was the first guy he'd ever seen in the WWE universe.

He was a good guy.

As he reluctantly held onto a needle. So very reluctant.

So caring.

"You just don't know when to stop. You loved hurting yourself, too. You were convinced that no one was there to save you… no one's here to save you, is there, Cody? You're going to die a gruesome, bloody death and I'm going to watch you scream."

He grabbed onto Cody's neck and wrenches him forward.

Dustin's breath on Cody's face.

He slammed Cody hard to the floor.

He did the process again and again.

Until Cody started to bleed.

Dustin's knife going to Cody's neck and he slit next to his neck, his shoulder, not too deep, a quick, thin line to see the blood flow out of Cody's flesh.

"I don't think you're my brother, sometimes…you're so weak. So defenseless. So very weak, Cody."

Faces.

Too many faces.

Ted.

As he hugged him in his sleep.

Kissed away his "ouchies".

Held him when he was afraid.

Heard that he loved him.

Kissed him.

His Teddybear.

Dustin gave him a punch in his stomach, repeating it, over and over, feeling the acid burn inside of him. He stared at him, his eyes begging. "Oh please, Dustin…please…don't do this."

Dustin slapped him. "You wanted to die."

"I don't want you to do it, Dustin…you're my brother…" Cody whimpered out. He didn't want to hurt him. He couldn't have hurt him. Not in the same way that Dustin could've and whatever punch he'd throw at, Dustin will always find a way to hurt him. Harder. Go to lengths that Cody couldn't.

"I spent twenty-four years taming you. I'm not going to let that amateur 'friend' of yours touch you….he's making you stronger." Dustin spat out, his words heavy and thick, coldness and pulsing with hatred. "I don't need you strong! I need you weak!"

Cody's heart thudded so loud in his chest. His head exploded. His body jerked and twisted in pain.

Dustin was ready to stab him. He seriously was but another body jumped on top of Dustin's—and all that Cody could register was the black thick material of the person's blazer as he stared, feeling Dustin throw back the person to the windows, sending glass all over. Cody's eyes were staring as the blood dripped alongside of the glass.

Cody couldn't really see it well enough.

The vivid visions were spitting out with acid and pain.

He couldn't really see anything.

It was hazy.

He couldn't completely take in the images in front of him.

Feeling the scent of blood make him faint on the inside, he stared at the wall, as the dark blood ran down the wall.

He did this.

Why did people risk their lives for him…?

Glass was too close.

Stained blood.

Dark.

He felt two hands wrap around him, a hot, shaky voice entering Cody's ear, 'I told you I'd risk my life for you."

John Cena.

__

**And our climax is in the next chapter.**

**As short as this chapter is...review?  
**

**;) Sam**


	24. Train Wreck

**Oh, I can't get rid of this story out of my head. One more chapter…): And you will notice that my climaxes **_**suck**_**.**

**And I'm not on a run…just really bored and have nothing to do. Lol. Besides, I don't want to go to bed.**

__

Train Wreck

__

Fast.

Too fast…

The train's too fast.

Pulled the lever.

Too fast…

__

John Cena held onto Cody's body with one hand, holding onto his waist as they held onto the broken window, feeling the metal make his hand bleed, violently bleeding as he stared at Dustin as he slipped off.

He felt Cody slip away from him and so, he grabbed his hand.

It was too fast for them.

"You can let go, John." Cody said, closing his eyes and feeling his hand slip away from John's and he made no attempt to hold onto John's hand whatsoever and it made John's heart sink in his chest.

Flashes of white.

And blue.

Lightening.

It was too fast.

Brain exploding.

Heart pounding.

Too…freaking…fast…

"I'm not letting go." John spat out, holding onto Cody's hand tighter, and as the train wrenched even more backwards, John's fingers slowly slipped from the window.

Black.

Darkness.

Blue.

Nightmares.

Exploding through his head.

"_Dustin…"_

It hurt too much.

"Tell Ted that-"Cody's voice was cut as he noticed John gripping tighter.

"Y-yes?"

They were both breathless.

Both staring.

"I love him…"

It was barely above a whisper.

But those words—it was the only thing he wanted Ted to hear right now, those words, of redemption and love and freedom, had made Cody's heart flutter when he thought of Ted's body pressing to him, even for a second's time—

"…I love him…"

Cody repeated, louder, with tears blurring his vision.

And John spotted what was coming ahead.

A factory.

If they didn't get off soon, they were going to explode. Literally.

"Cody…I need you to hold on to me."

"Why?"

"Ted…" John simply said, panting. "Do it for Ted."

Cody's heart broke when he heard those words as he squeezed onto John's hand and John stared at him.

Dustin tried to get close to Cody, with a knife. All he needed to do was to stab him. And he was so close and John was so distracted as Dustin held onto the window right beside John, snickering to himself…

Before Dustin can do anything, Ted flung himself inside of a glassy window, breaking the glass, as it cut through his face. Now, his face cut and his body drenched with blood. And as he saw Dustin's attempt to rip Cody to ribbons, his heart threatened to burst.

Pounded.

Randy followed Ted afterwards, also cutting his face as he entered inside of the moving train and they looked exhausted as they ran towards John and Cody. Randy was slipping and he was hurled towards John, surging him to the ground, gripping onto John's blazer as Randy's heart pounded hard.

"John, if we die here…"

"We won't."

They both slipped to the end of the train, their bodies hurt and their eyes were staring up and from where they are, seeing at the main window at the front, they saw the factory coming up a head.

If they weren't going to get out of here, they were truly going to explode.

They had to remind themselves that every two seconds.

Dustin tried to reach Cody but Ted got into the way and Dustin's body pressed against Ted's as Dustin grabbed onto Ted's hand. "And you…for all the work and sweat I put into making Cody my project, my servant, mine…you had taken him away from me, untamed him, turned him stronger…you are the one I wanted dead right next to Cody…" Dustin let out a hoarse laugh.

Edge had grabbed onto Cody's hands, wrenching him off from Cody but when he felt tears spring to Cody's eyes and he felt the boy's body shake, Edge let go of him, whispering words of sorrow as tears leaked off Edge's own eyes, seeing Cody and Ted like this, so vulnerable had made Edge feel like he really didn't have an edge.

"_Go_. Let me die." Edge simply said.

Cody went in front of Ted, making the knife go to Cody's shoulder, making him bleed rapidly as Ted held onto Cody's hand and the window before they slipped off again. The window was open. Wide open. And even though they were going to get cut, there was their freedom in front of them.

They were inches away.

Too fast of a train.

Ted jumped out of the window.

Their bodies scraping against the glass.

Their blood flowing.

Rapidly.

Ted fell to the ground first, letting Cody fall into his arms with him, their hearts still pounding as they looked at the factory.

John opened the door of the train, and jumped out of the train. John fell right next to them both, holding Randy safely in his arms.

An explosion.

Too many bright colors.

And Ted found himself doing was squeezing onto Cody's body protectively. "We…we did it."

There was some sort of triumph in their eyes.

"We did it."

Randy repeated Ted's words all over again.

It was almost too odd to believe.

Ted's mind had only one thing replaying in his head…

_Cody standing in front of him, knife to the shoulder instead of Ted, taking pain he didn't deserve…_

And he felt Cody's body shake and shiver before turning all numb and motionless and Ted's heart thudded in his chest.

Ted's eyes turned sorrowful. "He almost died because of me…" if the knife had been closer to his heart, it would've killed Cody instantly.

"Cody?"

Ted shook his friend.

Ted's heart skipped a beat.

"Cody?!"

Ted sat up straight and held tight onto Cody's body, burying Cody's face into his chest and leaned down to his ear; clutching Cody's body tightly, feeling the boy from under him, unmoving, motionless and as Ted fearfully checked if Cody had a pulse, he was met by relief. Cody was alive but Cody had fainted.

Ted's tears leaked out of his eyes again. "Oh, please, no!"

"Is he…?" John and Randy had tried to consider the fact.

"No…but I screwed up, didn't I? There must've been something I could've done to save him. I've known him all of my life and I didn't do anything. I watched him get stabbed in front of me. What kind of a monster, am I? I deserve to burn in Hell…" Ted's words were knives in Randy and John's hearts, seeing him so sad, so dead on the inside, so shattered beyond repair.

Ted grabbed onto Cody's body. "I'll go get a cab. Get Cody to the nearest hospital…and Randy…I'm sorry."

He knew what he was sorry for.

When he had joined Legacy, he vowed to Randy and to himself that they'd stick together. That they'd never hurt each other and would always help each other. Ted didn't deserve to have Cody anymore. He had hurt him.

And it would be hard to fix everything now.

Even as the terror faded…

It still had its scars.

__

**Next chapter will be the epilogue.**

**I will miss this story.**

**Seriously. **

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	25. Epilogue

**And here's the last chapter—epilogue… also, I know I want to become a doctor and stuff but I'm still fourteen so some of medical information can be wrong. But I hope it's okay.**

**And in response to Becky's question: yes, Edge is is he?**

__

Epilogue

__

Randy was sitting there beside John, head on John's shoulder, watching Ted as he paced around the room.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Ted," Randy's voice interrupted his pacing. "Maybe you should sit down. You look nervous."

"I am nervous!" Ted shot back, his shoulders shaking, his head threatening to explode on the inside as he walked towards Randy and sat down. "I hate hospitals…"

"We all hate hospital."

"Agreed."

"I'm going off for a minute… I need some fresh air."

The other two only nodded their head at Ted's gesture as Ted walked out of the room without another word swirling through his head. In the middle of the way, he stopped and looked behind his shoulder, nothing really, but it was the thoughts that were weighing him down.

He kept looking up and down. Front and behind.

Just to keep himself from thinking.

Ted clutched onto his stomach when he felt nauseous and decided to head back. They should've been done examining Cody, now, right? He walked inside of the room to have the nervousness build up again now that John and Randy were still in the waiting room. He was tired of waiting. He needed to know what had happened to Cody back there.

Dr. Gray poked his head out and Ted's heart exploded. They were done? Now, he wasn't sure that he wanted to get inside of the room to see Cody. Dr. Gray walked up towards all three, looking at his clipboard as if he had needed it.

"Your little friend had fainted from shock. He's fine now—but the shock had made the boy forget the ordeal he had been in before…"

"So you're saying that Cody doesn't remember being in the train, at all?" Randy asked, trying to understand.

The doctor simply nodded his head. "Yes. He doesn't remember being in the train. Actually, he doesn't remember why he's afraid of trains. The mind works in mysterious ways sometimes."

Randy nodded his head.

Ted swallowed the lump in his throat. "C-can I see him?"

Dr. Gray only nodded his head once before they had all scurried to leave the waiting room where Cody was playing with the sheets. He looked so adorable, Ted had decided as he sat down onto the chair and looked at him, both of their eyes staring at each other and Cody's smile faded. "Why am I here?"

"No reason, Cody, no real reason," he lied, not wanting Cody to remember all that horror—he wanted to keep Cody away from it and now that he had the chance, he knew that he wanted to keep him safe.

"I'm hungry."

Typically.

Ted rolled his eyes and looked back at John and Randy. "There's this restaurant I saw before we came in," John said, amazed at the doctor's words—Cody did look confused, very much.

Cody's eyes enlightened as he stood up and fixed his hair. The clothes they'd been wearing for about a week now were filled with sweat. "Can we first shower or something? It smells like…" Cody shook his head at the thought and Ted can only nod his head as they all walked out of the room.

Ted couldn't help but smile.

Finally, the horror was over.

__

Ted had showered and dressed up, a red t-shirt and jeans, watching as Randy Orton and John Cena, dressed in jeans and band tees, came in the room and their clothing was still wet and their eyes were exploding with glee and faces, and Ted stared at them, before laughing.

Ted raised an eyebrow, 'what you two been doing in the shower?" Ted said, smirking.

Their faces turned red. "That obvious?" Randy asked.

Ted laughed and shook his head. "And they were talking about an escape, I didn't think…"

"We are escaping." John added in. "Going for a vacation. Called WWE. We're going on a nice little trip for around two weeks or so. Then they expect us to return for Monday Night RAW. Called in for you and Cody, too. You both deserve a break, really."

Ted nodded his head, digesting the information. "I love the sound of a break."

Then they heard it.

The thing that shocked their bodies with fear.

A scream.

Cody's scream.

They ran towards the shower, knocking on the door to have the Rhodes boy go out, looking dizzy, feeling faint, and his eyes looked horrified. "There's a lot of blood on me…" he whispered.

Ted cupped Cody's face. "Oh, Cody," he whispered, closing his eyes. "Let me see."

Ted watched as Cody went to his black clothing, and took it off the ground to expose the bloodied water underneath it. He'd never seen so much blood before in his life. He held Cody's shoulders and brought him close to his chest. Did he really lose all that blood in seven days? It seemed impossible.

Ted kissed Cody's forehead. "It's okay. I swear you're okay now."

Cody only nodded his head, as Ted helped him out of that mess. Cody felt as if he was scarred for life. Why did he have all that blood? Where did it come from? Possibilities were rushing to his head. He was afraid—of himself. He took a deep breath as Ted laid him down onto the bed.

"Is everything alright?" Orton and Cena asked both at once.

Ted nodded his head. "Yes, everything's alright."

"Great. Let's go for a bite."

__

Randy ate the last bite of his spaghetti and took a swig of Pepsi as he looked around. He'd never really cared about the place or the food or anything but now, after being stuck in a train, just seeing colors made his heart thud with love and life and explosion. It seemed like Heaven after Hell.

Ecstatic.

Perfectly ecstatic.

He looked over at John and winked once, causing John to smirk at him. "Where did Cody and Ted go? They said they were going to get some more water."

"Ted's code for 'water' means 'I'm going to go passionately make out' with…" John's eyes widened but he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally. Randy nodded his head as if agreeing with him before he took another bite to eat.

__

The night was humid and sultry.

Ted's hand went to Cody's face, feeling the heat burned into Cody's body and Cody stared into his eyes.

"Ted?"

"I need to tell you something, Cody."

Cody's eyes went horrified. Was he going to leave him? Was he going to hurt him now that he was alone? What? Cody's heart thudded when he thought of Ted kissing him. Fluttered softly and sweetly.

"Cody."

"Yes, Teddy?"

Ted took a deep breath. But the look on Cody's face…he knew he needed to go through past shadows. And a feeling in the pit of his stomach just told him not to. Ted's hand slipped from Cody's face.

"It's…"

Another flutter from both Cody and Ted's hearts.

"…nothing."

__

"You didn't tell him?!"

"He's my friend. If I do, after all I've done, we might break up. He's just confused anyways. Maybe someday."

"What do you mean someday?"

"Someday…"

"You sure about this, Ted?"

"He's scared out of his mind. He just saw his own blood on the floor. He looks so innocent…he _is _innocent. I can't scare him telling him I love him," Ted said to Randy. "Besides, it's not over yet. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. Maybe it's just not meant to be."

"Oh, Ted, it is meant to be. You just don't want to believe it. It's the same excuse you used to use before when someone younger than you walks it, 'we're at different points of our lives'…if you sit around waiting Ted, Cody's going to slip away. Someway." Randy responded. "Do you want that to happen?"

"N-no. But I don't have another choice."

Randy didn't say another word as Ted walked over to Cody's door, looking at him as he slept. One day. He told himself. One day.

But a feeling at the pit of his stomach, twisting acid, burning pain, just made Ted feel as if this wasn't the end.

This was just the beginning.

__

**Um…total sequel to this. This is book one of like _four_...the damn '_Cross Rhodes to DreamStreet' _series so yeah…**

**;) Sam**


End file.
